This one time, I almost called the paramedics to get my child unstuck from________

The blank could be filled with many scenarios.
Lo got her head stuck in the back of a chair one time. Yes. It is funny now, but horrific at the time.

I could picture the phone call to 911:
Hello, yes, I need emergency care. My child got her head stuck in the back of the kitchen chair. What? NO. Her head is of normal size!!!

I don’t remember how I got her unstuck…but she is not walking around with a chair attached today so I did something right.
Lo also got her elbow stuck in the handle of a play baby carriage. The child was screaming bloody murder. It was one of those plastic little tike’s deals and I used BUTTER to get it unstuck.

A carriage similar to this one. No, this is not my child. I did some crazy stuff, but I never gave her a boy bowl cut. 😉

Lindsay had this little stuffed poodle. The poodle came with some of the old fashioned hair curlers. The plastic ones that have little tiny plastic spikes to hold your hair.

She thought it would be cute to put a curler on her finger. Seems that when she had been wearing it, her finger, trying to get circulation again swelled up and she/I could not get it off.
Again, screaming bloody murder.

Again, with the butter.

**note to self: get the girls cholesterol checked**
I know they did more things to me themselves than that….what with the cheerios up the nose, Cheerios in the EAR, the raisins up the nose, Lo getting a piece of lead stuck in her EAR and as a toddler she sneezed an entire piece of spaghetti out of her nostril. (sure wish we had recorded that one)

I don’t remember doing any of that stuff when I was a kid. I was good. (My Mom could paint a different picture)

BUT…..When I was preggo with Lo and working in an office in Dallas…an ice cream man would come through the parking lot daily. (Ok, I flagged him down daily) I would occasionally everyday get myself an icy treat. (50lb weight gain who?)

One day, I was so darn happy to have my ice cream, I ripped open the paper and stuck that cold baby to my starving mouth. Really, I must not have eaten for 22 minutes by now. I was ravenous.

The temp of the Popsicle combined with the temp of my tongue made some sort of science experiment.

My tongue was immediately glued to the ice pop. I felt sheer panic…imagining myself living out the rest of my days with this ice pop stuck to my tongue. What would my baby think of me?

I could not talk. All I could do was motion with my hands and say: ahhhaaahhhhaaaahhhhheeeelllllppppppmmmmmeeeeeppwwwaaaaeeasseee.

All my coworkers were laughing at me….Suppose they were tired of all my eating all day long? naaahhhh
After a few minutes of my aaaahhhheeellllpppmmmeee in the middle of the office with NO help, I was pure entertainment for these people…. I ran to the break room sink and ran some water over my mouth and the ice pop. After a moment I was free.

Free to eat again. That was the most agonizing 2.5 minutes of my life.

Of course I refrained from more ice pops for one day a while.

I am not even going to get into all the stuff the Coach has done to himself as a kid or as an adult….Need not worry about someone else injuring him, he did it all by himself. **bless his Mother**

Did anyone else get their tongue stuck on anything…..any food shot out of your nose? Stuff in your ear?
What is the deal with cheerios anyway? Are they just begging to be put somewhere besides the mouth????

The toddler years are quite fun. But also dangerous. Glad we survived them.

I suppose the upside of having teenagers is they don’t get themselves into predicaments…well ones that concern cheerios, raisins, plastic toys, etc… We are onto much bigger issues….uggghhh. It hurts my brain thinking of it all.

23 thoughts on “This one time, I almost called the paramedics to get my child unstuck from________”

  1. I love the way you share these stories. The craziest thing I did: one of my first secretarial jobs out of college I was not supposed to eat at my desk. Well, I sneaked a Wendy\’s Frosty in and was hurriedly spooning the frozen treat down. The phone rang, and my frozen lips and tongue would not allow me to say the name of the company! I could not form the words!


  2. you sure got me laughing today!laura got her foot stuck in her rocking horse… well, rocking burro. i did call the fire dept to get her unstuck… and they did. with a crowbar! they used that on the wood, not her dainty little ankle! (i would\’ve had her haul that burro around for the rest of her life if Eric had suggested taking a crowbar to it! but i couldn\’t turn down those firemen… they had come all that way… and used their pretty lights….)anyhow, that is the extent of our episodes… don\’t you think the popsicle would\’ve eventually just melted? really? it never occured to you? the image of you screaming with a popsicle stuck to you tongue is just cracking me up… sorrry! it just is! love ya!


  3. Oh my gosh! Wow.. your girls got into some messes! Well.. you did too. That just gave me a \’Christmas Story\’ flashback for sure! LOL Oh sorry.. didn\’t mean to laugh at your pain. Well.. ok, maybe I did. 🙂 Remember those toys that looked like plastic donuts.. and they are big at the bottom and the top one is the smallest and you put them on this peg on a base thing? My husband… the father on my child.. put the biggest donut on Boo\’s ankle and then had to leave. I about freaked out because I couldn\’t get the darn thing off. It took me forever to tug at it just right. He heard about that one! LOL But he never did it again. 😉


  4. Once in class I had a boy get stuck with the chair around his middle! The hole was soooo small….like usually just the head gets stuck- but this was too funny….well not then, but later! – And Lex once stuck her finger in the drinking fountain drain at the library…when she was 2…and she pulled off skin pulling it out….and a kid wrapped yarn around her finger so tightly it was turning blue in class once….fortunatly I saw because she was too embarrassed to tell me! Perhaps I should keep butter in class?! Happy Thursday!


  5. Boy can I relate…When my first dog, a black cockapoo named Charlie was about a year old, I noticed his mustache was getting in his food, and he wasn\’t due for his regular grooming appointment…so I decided I\’d trim his mustache myself.Now, I had just moved into a new home with off-white carpeting. I sat Charlie up on the kitchen table, and took my hair cutting sissors, and started to carefully trim his mustache. Well, Charlie love me so much he decided to kiss me and I nipped his tongue!OMG! I was beside myself! Charlie jumped down and ran into the living room and started wiping the blood off his tongue onto my carpet! Have you ever seen how a tongue can bleed? I grabbed him up and brought him back in the kitchen where I put some ice on his tongue…IT STUCK!I called \”Doggie 911\” and asked for help because I didn\’t know much about dogs then. They told me to put water on it, then to put his leash on him and take him for a walk, that it will stop bleeding. Once we were outside, he became preoccupied looking for rabbits and squirrels. He was left with a little wedge in his tongue.


  6. LOL It really is a miracle we survive! No heads stuck through bars, but we did have one particularly terrifying moment when my youngest decided it would be fun to stuff a great big bead up her nose. I gave her nose a great big pinch and commanded her to blow out while I pushed down with both fingers. Poor thing it must have hurt like hell. I was so afraid she would breathe it into her lungs. Your right..the toddler years are dangerous!


  7. My sister once reached up into a gumball machine to get a prize. Her hand was stuck. The firefighers had to come and break open the gumball machine. Turns out her hand was stuck because she wouldn\’t let go of the prize she was holding on to!


  8. You make me laugh so hard I almost pee my pants. Every day : ). I don\’t think I ever got stuck in anything. I will ask my Mom tonight. You are the best mommy! A stick of butter makes everything better.


  9. My nephew, when he was a toddler, put a pebble up his nose, way up and his parents couldn\’t get it out. I gave him pepper to sniff and that caused him to sneeze and voila! the pebble came out.Once I was scooping ice cream with a metal ice cream scooper and I knew better, but I just had to lick the ice cream of that scooper and lo and behold it stuck to my tongue. I mean stuck! I ran over to the sink and poured water onto my tongue and it released. My tongue was sore for a few days. I know, I know, I should have known better. I also get the urge to touch hot sugar when I make caramel. It looks so yummy; but I don\’t think I want to try that, hee hee


  10. I can remember my oldest daughter had a navy bean stuck up her nose (the dry hard ones), by the time the hospital got it out, it had swelled up and was almost twice the size it was when it went in. Wanna know how they did it – got her to cry and then covered her mouth and that baby shot right out. The doc said it works everytime. Been kinda lucky since then.


  11. When my brother was about 2, he handcuffed himself to the pool ladder. Yep, mom had to not only call the police, but then explain why the hell there were handcuffs in the house in the first place.When Stud was about a year old, he managed to lock himself in his room. He was too little for me to explain how to unlock the door, and after a few minutes of trying to open it, he started crying. He actually lied down in front of the door, so I could see him sobbing through the crack under the door. My poor baby!! It\’s choking me up just thinking about it! I decided to try and just take the doorknob off, but then I realized that when the other half fell, it was going to hit him in the head! I really panicked then. I ended up calling my dad over, through my own tears, and he managed to get the knob off, and save the day. He then put the knob back on backwards, so the lock is on the outside. I\’m shocked that Stud has yet to ask for it to be turned back around, since that means he can\’t lock his bedroom door 🙂 Ah…but I can lock him IN….


  12. You are too funny! I needed a good laugh just now…thank you. It\’s a wonder we survive our children being kids…I am barely surviving the ones I have now. Glad your not walking around with a pop cycle stuck to your tongue anymore…lol.


  13. When I was old enough to know better, I got a lollipop stuck to a telephone pole (how I dont know, but it was a hot day). I proceeded to lick the lollipop while it was stuck and I got a sliver in my tongue.


  14. My Mom had a sewing machine when I was little. She used to make all of my clothes (can you imagine?). My sister and I must have been playing with it because my sis somehow put the needle through my thumb like she was trying to stitch my thumb. Thank goodness I don\’t remember this because it sounds painful.Thanks for the laugh!!Much love from NJ,Suexoxo


  15. My little brother got his head stuck in the banister bars, my dad used butter to get him out. He also got raisins stuck up his nose so far a doctor had to get them out. I was apparently an angel child, I have no memories of doing anything like this!


  16. I am laughing so hard! I think your daughters should\’ve been MY daughters! (You already know I stuck a rock up my nose. my little sis also stuck cheerios up her nose. Something about us and noses…) Anyways – stay away from those ice pops! Stick to cones! :0


  17. Ha! Good stuff. I think we\’ve all had these kinds of things happen. My brother got stuck between the rungs in a chair; my dad had to saw the chair apart. My daughter got a ring stuck on her finger and it swelled up enormously, turned purple, and we took her to the ER to have the ring removed. My brother got a bean stuck in his nose, because, as he said it, \”The cat looked at me.\”


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