Pulling the Wool over the Pickle Eater’s Eyes

Lindsay socks (2)

Have you met my 13year old? She is a professional pickle eater. But her profession is limited to ONLY one kind of pickle. I have blogged about them before. They are precariously tangy and sweet. Just perfect.

They are Wickles.

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A Wickedly delicious pickle.

 

They are da’ bomb and we go through many of jars of these babies, much thanks to the Pickle Eater. I have looked into buying them in bulk, but there is no cost savings involved. poop.

When a new grocery store opened up around the corner a few months ago, I was aghast to see they did not carry Wickles. I was now in a pickle. Someone was not happy that we did not have a stockpile of pickles in the pantry.

I tried to explain to her the predicament. I did not want to travel farther to another store just to purchase pickles. She made a pouty pucker. AND you know, I am a sucker.

On my next trip to our store, I found a comparable jar of pickles. It claimed to be spicy and sweet…ah ha, just like our Wickles. I have found a replacement and amazingly enough, they are cheaper than Wickles.

I made the purchase and brought them home with a big smile ready for her to give me a big smooch on my pucker!

“Hey Pickle Eater, look what I got for you!!!!” 

One nibble later, she declared: “These are not Wickles!” I tasted them, and I agreed. NOT even close.

Fast forward a few months later and my store finally carries Wickles. We were out of our pickle minds with glee.

But still, in the back of the fridge was the opened jar of non-Wickles pickles. The imposter pickles.

As the pickle eater was going through jar after jar of Wickles, the others just sat there in the back next to the nasty pickled okra.

Coach had a brilliant idea. He told me told me that  when she finishes a jar of Wickles, transfer the imposters over into the Wickle Juice and Wickle jar. She will never know!

So that is what I did.

Last night, she opened up the imposter jar of Wickles and immediately knew something was awry. “They have changed the pickles! Look, they have ridges in them!!”

I could barely keep a straight face, and tried to look indifferent.

She forged on and applied them to her burger.

ONE bite into the burger, the Jig was UP. She knew they were not Wickles. And she was MAD. I told her it was her Dad’s idea. She was still mad at me for going along with the plan and vowed not to speak to me the rest of the night. I was fine with my punishment, but it only lasted 13 seconds.

She loves me too much. And she loves to talk. And no one else was home to talk to at the time.

She removed the pickles from her burger, pointed her index finger at them and said: “Bad, you are not Wickles, you are not worthy of my burger!”

Yes, we even talk to our food here.

But she left a message for her Father to see when he came home:

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25 thoughts on “Pulling the Wool over the Pickle Eater’s Eyes

  1. how frikking cute is this post? you remind me of erma bombeck here, my dear… and tell the professional wickle pickle eater \”WAAAAAAAY TO GOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SISTAH!\” aint nobody gonna mess with a professional wickle pickle eater! she KNOWS her cukes, that girl….. no doubt about it.you are all so cute down in the deep south!love ya,coh.p.s.has she ever had a fried wickle pickle? wonder how that would taste.

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  2. I can't stop laughing, and I think I might have wet myself!!I am standing with your Picky Pickle Eater…You can't fool someone who's a fanatic about a certain food item. I'm the same way about butter. My mother, Rita…used to put margarine in a butter wrapper thinking I wouldn't notice…I DID. There are certain hight end restaurants that serve margarine and I won't patronize them. If I have to go because someone picks one of those restaurants to celebrate an event…I BRING MY OWN BUTTER. Yes I do that.

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  3. LOL We've done the switcheroo a couple of times and sometimes it works (fake cheerios) and sometimes it doesn't. I probably would have tried it too. I wondered if the pickle juice would flavor the icky ones and make them a little better. I guess now we know the answer. : ) I hope you all have a Wickley good weekend! : )

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  4. I tried to read your post aloud. It was very enjoyable, but then I tried to read it aloud and fast. Is that the most tongue-twisting post you've ever written? I think so.If I ever see Wickles, I will buy them (even though we're not a pickle-loving household.) See the influence you have?

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  5. hysterical!! that one… she is too smart for her own good! and i am shocker… that she went a full 13 seconds without speaking to you. is that some kind of record? thanks to you… we are wickle lovers too!

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  6. Anonymous

    too funny, you can't fool a pro like her! I've never tried Wickles, so I'll have to search for them. I loooove pickles! And I'm the only pickle eater in my house, so they'll be just for me.

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  7. Now that is REALLY a Pickle-Lover-From-Way-Back. My hubby loves pickles also but his are those big ole wampy HUGE dill pickles… We buy them by the Ton-size in Sam's. He eats them with every dinner!!!!! Glad your store carries your Wickles now. I've never heard of them.My mother used to make a homemade Bread and Butter pickle which was to die for…..Hugs,Betsy

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  8. Funny story and word play. My daughter was picky about Aunt Jemima syrup. If I replaced it no more than half and half with generic, I could get by with it. More than that, and I'd be caught!

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  9. I used to get a jar of baby dill kosher pickles in my stocking. MINE ALONE, I did not have to share them. Bliss. Your daughter is smart! That is a funny story about the switched pickles. I would've known too! True pickle lovers unite!

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