As a kid, I played outside all the time and created my own adventures.
I spent hours and hours in our yard or roaming the neighborhood.
I loved catching bugs and stray cats, bunnies critters, but catching lizards, well catching lizards was my jam.
I caught them all the time and I loved them so much. I was a self proclaimed lizard whisperer.
When I was about seven I found this beautiful bright green lizard. He was gorgeous!
He crawled up and down my arms and he loved sitting on my shoulder like a Parrot lizard.
He was my constant companion for a full day.
*CUE THE SUZ AND LIZARD MONTAGE*
I had visions of our life together: playing all the time, reading books, traveling the world.
I found a jar and made him a home and we had our first sleepover; it was epic.
The next day, I thought it would be a great idea to take him to school with me because surely, he would get lonely at home all alone.
Being the girly tomboy that I was, I put him in my purse and headed for school.
I only shared my new lizard with a few friends that day as I did not want to risk getting into trouble. I had already hit my quota for classroom spankings.
Sadly that evening, my lizard died. I was beyond crushed because all our hopes and dreams for the future were just as dead as he was.
Maybe it was the the long commute on the school bus that did him in? Maybe living in my purse wasn’t quite the right environment? Perhaps a diet of grass wasn’t enough?
Devastated, I buried him in the yard and performed the private eulogy that he clearly deserved.
A few days later I went to pay homage to my now deceased friend and WHAT THE HELL? He.Was.Gone.
The burial site wide open and my lizard had risen from the dead!
It was a miracle of epic proportions! He lives! He lives! He lives!
I was elated and for days I looked all over for him, but sadly we were never reunited.
I never forgot our time together though, he was my favorite lizard and could never be replaced.
In hindsight, maybe he was not so much ‘Jesus like’ as much as my cats were excellent excavators.
I was a critter hoarding hawt mess in the making.