My *Jesus* Lizard

 

As a kid, I played outside all the time and created my own adventures.

I spent hours and hours in our yard or roaming the neighborhood.

I loved catching bugs and stray cats, bunnies critters, but catching lizards, well catching lizards was my jam.

I caught them all the time and I loved them so much. I was a self proclaimed lizard whisperer. 

When I was about seven I found this beautiful bright green lizard. He was gorgeous!

It was love at first sight for both of us. anolea1

He crawled up and down my arms and he loved sitting on my shoulder like a Parrot lizard.

He was my constant companion for a full day.

*CUE THE SUZ AND LIZARD MONTAGE*

I had visions of our life together: playing all the time, reading books, traveling the world.

I found a jar and made him a home and we had our first sleepover; it was epic.

The next day, I thought it would be a great idea to take him to school with me because surely, he would get lonely at home all alone.

Being the girly tomboy that I was, I put him in my purse and headed for school.

I only shared my new lizard with a few friends that day as I did not want to risk getting into trouble. I had already hit my quota for classroom spankings.

Sadly that evening, my lizard died. I was beyond crushed because all our hopes and dreams for the future were just as dead as he was.

Maybe it was the the long commute on the school bus that did him in? Maybe living in my purse wasn’t quite the right environment? Perhaps a diet of grass wasn’t enough?

Devastated, I buried him in the yard and performed the private eulogy that he clearly deserved.

A few days later I went to pay homage to my now deceased friend and WHAT THE HELL? He.Was.Gone.

The burial site wide open and my lizard had risen from the dead!

Like Jesus. 

It was a miracle of epic proportions! He lives! He lives! He lives!

I was elated and for days I looked all over for him, but sadly we were never reunited.

I never forgot our time together though, he was my favorite lizard and could never be replaced.

 In hindsight, maybe he was not so much ‘Jesus like’ as much as my cats were excellent excavators.

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I was a critter hoarding hawt mess in the making.

34 thoughts on “My *Jesus* Lizard

  1. ok – besides the EWWWW factor (from this girly girl that can get dirty but can't stand creatures) this was a cute story and cleverly told! Oh snap, those darn cats…

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  2. I love this post! I love this line… \”I think I had hit my quota for classroom spankings already!\”…you are too funny. Sorry your Jesus lizard didn't last longer. Look at you…an adorable hawt mess!

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  3. um. cute pic at the end. :Pi wasn't sure if you had named your lizard Hey-Soos, or if you were referring to the real deal.What a funny post! I'd like to think your cat had nothing to do with his \”escape!\”Happy Monday!

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  4. Oh My Goodness—-You don't look like a 'tomboy' at all in that sweet little picture… What a Cutie Pie… You should have been carrying doll babies around–instead of lizards.Hope the cats didn't get your \”Jesus\” lizard.. Maybe he did arise from the dead and get outta there before that little girl captured him and put him back in a jar!!!!!! haCute post, Suz… Have a great day.Hugs,Betsy

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  5. He reminds me of the cute Geico guy. Did he have the same accent?I am sorry for your loss, and glad that it sounds as if you have recovered. I imagine that your menagerie at home keeps you plenty busy, and gives lots of love. Hugs to you!

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  6. Loved the story! In fifth grade my \”boyfriend\” gave me a garter snake at a school picnic. Needing to hide it from the teacher, I put it in my thermos and closed the lid. That was such a bad idea.

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  7. On my first visit to warmer climes (Spain) many years ago a reptilian creature, or perhaps it was a huge insect, couldn't be certain (I was born and bred on a housing estate) leapt across a restaurant and landed on my knee. I screamed so LONG and so LOUD that the customers thought we were under seige and the owner wanted to evict me from the premises. Suz, it pains me to say it but you and I would not have been friends as children. However, I am past it now and would def. hang out with you. 🙂

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  8. sooooooo cute, suz… i am sure mr. gecco remembers you well. after all, he is on tv now doing geico commercials… and he has a british accent so this tells me maybe he didnt speak your language back then…

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  9. BabyFavorite/Susan

    I have to remember not to read your blog while eating my dinner. I nearly choked to death over your lizard rising from the dead!

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  10. You are tooooo funny — – – but lizards? Yuck! I do not know why people have fascination with reptiles for pets – – – especially snakes. Oh well, God made us all with unique tastes. Thanks for the fun.

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  11. There's nothing hawter than those head scarf thingies from the seventies, that's for sure.What an amazing miracle for a child to behold. No wonder you're so delightful now…you have the light of lizard in your life.

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  12. You. Are. Killing Me! I know better than to read your posts at my desk where my bawdy laughter will certainly call me out as not doing Lawyer Work but rather reading much better work than our Associates can muster! You rock. And that photo? Priceless….

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  13. Good Morning,Your posts always cheer me up…sorry, I don't always have time for a comment…We used to catch the salamanders that lived in my grandma's cellar…Yikes…Adorable pic…Have a terrific Tuesday. ~Natalie

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  14. i will believe… that it wasn't the cats at all. i think the Jesus lizard is the one who sends you all the critters. and hopefully you hve learned your lesson about carrying lizards in your purse. ok? please, don't ever ask me to look in there…

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  15. You had me at lizard Suz!!! Lol!!! We don't have lizards running around Michigan, but as a little girl I would make my parents buy me those little chameleons – I went thru them by the dozen. I don't understand – maybe I LOVED them to death – ha! But you had the magic jesus lizard – I am so envious you hawt mess you!!!P.S. We are seriously sisters. We have to be….

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  16. Aw, you were so cute, all dressed up with your purse. It's lucky you thought he was a Jesus lizard when you were seven, or you might have carried a grudge against cats all this time.

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  17. I loved frogs and lizards as a child so understand your joy at having the Jesus lizard even if for just a day. I remember finding a Chameleon one summer and being over the moon about it! I also remember how horrified I was to find him all dried up the next day. Those things are so sensitive. What I'm saying Suz,is, I feel your pain!That photo of you is TOO too cute! Was that a matching scarf?? Just adorable.

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