Is it getting old in here?

Most days I am so tired at night…{ok, evening}

So tired thinking about what I have to do to get ready for bed.

It can be exhausting. Or maybe I am exhausting?

prepare the morning coffee.

make sure sink is cleared; load dishwasher

turn off TV and lights.

wash my face.

remove my contacts.

send the dogs out for ‘one more’ peeing.

put on PJ’s

apply eye cream, moisturizer, hand lotion.

try to moisturize overly dry tootsies.

wonder how my face is ‘falling’ at the speed of light

brush teeth

harass children

pee

set out lunch $$

call dogs back in

set alarm

shout “NO” when dogs try to get on our bed

pee

tell Lo to get off the phone. again.

take remote from Coach, who is sawing logs

lay down; let out large exhale

wonder if I forgot something

start my long list of prayers, including thanking GOD for one.more.day.

Yep, getting’ old. 

Welcome to Old Ville.

Choose your rocker.

And hurry damnit.  I ain’t got all darn day.

Is it wrong that I want to start my nighttime routine at 6pm?

Am I alone here?

Bangs, Prison names and Saving Rosie!

 

I always feel a pang of sympathy when I see someone wilth really bad bangs. It is a travesty to mankind.

And we’ve all been there. Right?

suz cuts her own bangs_edited-1

Yes. That is me. Yes, I cut my own bangs.

No, I was not a homeless child. This was taken inside my Dad’s trailer. 

Yes, that certainly is a bottle of Jack on the counter. And a shank steak knife.

I may have used that knife to do the deed.  What can you expect when I had  cocoa puffs drenched in Jack for breakfast. 

It was a trailer park, I had bad hair, and appear to be wearing boys underwear.

Are you as surprised as I am that I an not incarcerated today?

***

IF I were to be locked up, my prison name would be: Suz Da’ Laundress.

Not to be confused with Suzy  Da’ Arsonist.  She is over in cell block C and can’t fold a fitted sheet to save her own life. {I pity the fool}

***

I was kidding about having that for breakfast. My Dad never gave me cocoa puffs.

***

Speaking of me being all things domestic and scary…

I have an unnatural affection for all my appliances, especially Rosie. {aka: The Dyson}

Sadly, Rosie has been ill. Her suction has suffered. I had her sitting out, ready to visit a repair man, but was I so concerned about leaving her with strangers.

rosie 2

So, I took matters into my own hands. {love the dyson website!}  After much disassembling, I found the offending clog and I also almost broke Rosie with my brutal {yet delicate} strength.

Luckily, the Coach has a degree in fixing stuff that I break. He received that degree via a correspondence course just after our nuptials

***

 

Have a beautiful weekend.

Bee good or Bee bad.

Me?

I prefer to bee good at NOT being bad, thus avoiding any REAL prison nicknames.

What will your prison name be?

I hope you ARE aware that stealing grapes in the produce stand is illegal! 

{I am embarrassed FOR you}

xoxoxoxo