Bangs, Prison names and Saving Rosie!

 

I always feel a pang of sympathy when I see someone wilth really bad bangs. It is a travesty to mankind.

And we’ve all been there. Right?

suz cuts her own bangs_edited-1

Yes. That is me. Yes, I cut my own bangs.

No, I was not a homeless child. This was taken inside my Dad’s trailer. 

Yes, that certainly is a bottle of Jack on the counter. And a shank steak knife.

I may have used that knife to do the deed.  What can you expect when I had  cocoa puffs drenched in Jack for breakfast. 

It was a trailer park, I had bad hair, and appear to be wearing boys underwear.

Are you as surprised as I am that I an not incarcerated today?

***

IF I were to be locked up, my prison name would be: Suz Da’ Laundress.

Not to be confused with Suzy  Da’ Arsonist.  She is over in cell block C and can’t fold a fitted sheet to save her own life. {I pity the fool}

***

I was kidding about having that for breakfast. My Dad never gave me cocoa puffs.

***

Speaking of me being all things domestic and scary…

I have an unnatural affection for all my appliances, especially Rosie. {aka: The Dyson}

Sadly, Rosie has been ill. Her suction has suffered. I had her sitting out, ready to visit a repair man, but was I so concerned about leaving her with strangers.

rosie 2

So, I took matters into my own hands. {love the dyson website!}  After much disassembling, I found the offending clog and I also almost broke Rosie with my brutal {yet delicate} strength.

Luckily, the Coach has a degree in fixing stuff that I break. He received that degree via a correspondence course just after our nuptials

***

 

Have a beautiful weekend.

Bee good or Bee bad.

Me?

I prefer to bee good at NOT being bad, thus avoiding any REAL prison nicknames.

What will your prison name be?

I hope you ARE aware that stealing grapes in the produce stand is illegal! 

{I am embarrassed FOR you}

xoxoxoxo

32 thoughts on “Bangs, Prison names and Saving Rosie!

  1. LOL Oh Suz you crack me up this morning..it goes well with my morning coffee…not sure what my prison name would be…now I'll be thinking of this all day….yes we all had bangs like this either due to our own little hands or mothers that didn't know how to cut hair…lol…glad you were able to save poor Rosie…love these pics of you…since I am having a wild womens weekend I bee a little bit bad this weekend…happy weekend! XX

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  2. I think you must have had Jack for breakfast this morning – you are a wild one!My prison name would ne Colleeniqua…which is incidentally the same name I wanted when I thought I could become the fourth member of Destiny's Child 🙂 I loves me some Beyonce!

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  3. LOL Oh you are too cute! I don't remember cutting my own bangs,ut I know both my daughters did. Sigh.My Prison name.. Uh? Nope. Something with Scaredy Mom in it. I'm not cut out for prison life!

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  4. I just watched this show on the channel underneath Bravo last night that was scaring kids and hoping they would stay out of prison. All night I kept dreaming I was in prison. It was terrible. And then I see this.I am going to have some Jack right this second. It's practically noon, so drinking is ok right?PS You are the cutest thing ever. PSS It bothers me when every 30 year old I know gets bangs to cover up wrinkles. I think they look like dorks.PSSS I am so old. I need bangs.

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  5. Awww the memories…Most of my childhood photo's are in or outside of a trailer and Jack is usually present, along with Pall Mall non filters and bottle's of beer 🙂 We'd have been cell mates, me being Jake On The Make..mwahahaha!

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  6. Could you maybe have told me that eating the grapes was a crime before I got caught and got sentenced to a chain gang? FYI, in prison I was known as Lisa loves her licker. And MAYBE you could have told me that licker is actually spelled liquor before I was sentenced??

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  7. Ya know Suz., I've never had a bad bang day in all my life. I know, you're jealous, right?But I have seen my share of Trailer Courts and bottles of Jack. And for a brief time, I did date a guy named Jack who lived in a trailer.Your Friend, m.

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  8. OH MY GOSH, Suz. Seriously. Could you be any funnier or cuter?! Could ya?And you said \”what WILL your prison name be\” not what WOULD it. lol assuming we are all going to prison. Speaking of, have you seen the commercials/previews for Scared Straight on A&E? Um, no thank you – no prison for me. Makes me skurred.

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  9. I think you had to take matters in your own hands with Rosie because the repairman was afraid to get near her! Thanks for bringing smiles into a winter's day. I hope you have a great weekend.

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  10. What a cute post, Suz…. I love that cutie pie girl in that picture… Bangs, Smangs,—who cares!!!!! I have a solution to your fitted sheets…. This is the solution from an old lazy woman (ME): Take your sheets off, close the bedroom door, wash and dry your sheets –and put the same ones back on…. HA HA HA Hugs,Betsy

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  11. hey suz,lol @ your pic and post!! sooo funny! i think i may have had bad bangs in one of my school pics…once maybe twice. but i can't remember if they were my doing or my moms!! my prison name would have to be JO de IRISH ROSE since i have that tatted on me somewhere on me lovely bod!! i'll let you guess where!! i did that when i wild and had my mid life crisis!!! ha ha the things we do, eh? i would never eat a grape but my sister chris? well, she just has a whole buffet when she goes to the grocery!! ask her, she will tell ya!! i have to go on to the deli or meat section for fear of the fruit police! ha hayou have a wonderful weekend and beeeeeeee yourself!!! your too cute!! ps…your underwears were cute, even if they were boys!!

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  12. This? Was super funny.I could totally back you up in the laundry room. My folding is meh, but my stain removal skills are first-rate. If someone shanks their roommate I can get the blood out of the sheets and then you can fold 'em.

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  13. Do you know it's also frowned up to take pictures of products in grocery stores in Barbados? Found that one out when we visited our missionary friend there. We were just trying to get pictures for a slide presentation that showed they pay double our grocery prices. I am just happy the store manager did not keep my camera!Impressive that you can fix your own vacuum cleaner.About the bangs – – – you were young enough not to be scarred by the incident. I had those same bangs in eighth grade because I did not realize you shouldn't stretch wet hair before cutting!

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  14. As I have told you previously my maiden was DYSON. LOL. So I would be probably end up with a prison name called Dicey Dycy. Dycy was my school nickname- even some of of the teachers called me it. I still cannot get over the fact that in US you call a fringe on hair 'bangs'. It has rather smutty connotations here ( if you are rather smutty like me). Bangs- what is that about???

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  15. I love that picture! I also cut my own bangs, which resulted in me having a buzz cut. Yikes, not a good look for me. My mom recently gave me a Dyson, I will have to remember your superior Dyson skills if I am having problems. Happy Weekend!

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  16. You ALWAYS crack me up. I love the childhood picture with the booze in the background.There is one of me sitting in a bathtub with an electric clock hanging over the tub and bottles of chemicals next to it. Of course, I grew up in the time before warning labels, sawdust on the playground, and general concern for the safety of children. How is it that i am even alive?

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  17. Laughter is the best medicine . . . and I've needed it lately! 🙂 You always bring such a smile to my face. I'm still trying to figure out what my prison name would be. And oh I've had some bad bang days. Whew! But I've been bang-free for 14 years now, so . . .

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  18. hahahaha jujube just cut his hair a few days ago wiff kiddie scissors no less.. he tooka chunk out right at the top of his head. lmao.. they all do it at least once.. i did, too, so have my kids.. lol..you are such a cute lil girl, suz.. awwww..i think my prison name might be BONES due to my skinny figure… and gimpy arm..yeah, i must confess i NEVER buy grapes without sampling them first. i cant afford to throw out sour food.. and i have never been told not to sample. most places welcome it. at whole foods they say to ask for a sample but i never do, well, i DO ask in my own head and then i give me permission to do it… lmao i just taste whatever i want… but i DONOT break open packages to do so… i've outgrown THAT!!! i am not one of THOSE girls.. i do have standards. sometimes if i'm not in a hurry, i have been known to have a full lunch on da house there.. hee hee… WHAT.good 4 you taking rosie apart n fixin her innerds.. i used to do that wiff my dryer and get out all the built up lints inside…helen ready would be proud of both of us!!!

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  19. I try really hard to stay out of prison because I can't think of a cool enough prison name. The other inmates would surely make fun of me.I think your little kid bangs were adorable.

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  20. is that a recent pic? not the bangs pic- the other one! did you get your hair cut? i feel like it has been forever since i've seen you… i started cutting my bangs in middle school. i have always done an ok job- no major mishaps. well, except for my skipper doll. that was a tragic haircut. and it never grew back.i am not going to prison (i have connections) so i am not even going to think of a prison name. i'm glad to know coach has that degree… in case i need to borrow him. eric did not pass the \”fixing stuff\” test, so no degree for him….

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  21. Love, love, love that pic of you as a lil peanut! Did you know that asymetrical bangs are all the rage in Seattle?? Really. Jessica gets all kinds of compliments on her catty corner bangs!! I didn't even notice the Jack 'til you mentioned it. Funny. I love my Oreck…HIS name is Rick. Patrick wasn't taking very good care of him down here while I was up north though. Rick smelled like a stinky, wet dog when I fired him up. Sheesh. Didn't his mommy teach him to change the vac bag once in a while?? I think I'd prefer to be called BadA**Cas if I were incarcerated, that way I'd be left alone, hopefully! Blessings-cassie

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