I don’t even have a rash.
Yeah, I say stuff like that.
Yesterday, I was outside watering my plants and I came in with some news for Lindsay.
Hey, Linds, I just saw the teeniest tiniest little baby octopus on top of the pool cage!
Me: Oh, never mind, more than likely it was a spider.
Her: This is why I think YOU are so weird.
I’m not weird. I’m imaginative.
Seriously though, we must have a twelve million
octopus spiders around our house.
Have I stressed to you all at least twelve million times how scared I am of spiders. I’d rather wrestle an octopus covered with baby oil in a canal surrounded by alligators than be in the vicinity of a spider.
But they are amongst us. Amongst ME.
And they want to take my life more than anything else.
This morning in the fog, it was even more evident how they are here…and they are going to destroy my life with their little claws.
And fangs. I’ve seen fangs.
Our poor flood light, it din’t see the fangy clawy spiders coming. Can you believe the spiders ate the top of that poor palm tree?
If they dare to step their little clawy/fangy selves into my garden, something will be burnt down.
I thought about it for 10 seconds, and did not call him.
Truthfully, I have not seen ANY spiders near these webs/nests. They are invisible, ninja and stealth-like. Lurking at me with their claws and fangs ready. Ready to take me down and make a nest in my hair, procreate in my ears….poop in my nostrils.
I’m a goner.
I’m going to update my will today.
Love to you all, it was nice knowing you.