This is why we can’t have nice things.

This is going to make me look really mean and petty.
Which is who I am on occasion.
A few weeks ago Cocoa tore up one of her toys. She just ripped the stuffing right out of that thing as if it were her mission in life.
Lindsay looked right at her and said in a stern voice:

This is why we can’t have nice things!

I died.
IT sounds just like something my Mom would have said to me as a kid. And it was true.
We didn’t have nice things. Because of Cocoa. I mean because of me.

And now….well now I’m a neat-freak. With emphasis on the freak neat.
And my children?
NOT so much on the neat side. And that just freaks me the HECK out.

The bedrooms; they have been a point of contention since the girls decided to have a mind of their own. There is an upside to having rowdy little toddlers….my toddlers loved ‘the clean up song’. Barney was all bad-azz like that.

My teenagers have lives and it’s harder to control their clutter and lack of caring. And they never like it when I sing.
Please don’t think this next photo is of a home after hurricane Sandy. {no disrespect to Sandy victims!} Or even that it could be a home that was just ransacked by somali pirates.

It is a room in my actual home.

I won’t tell you whose room it is…but the writing IS on the wall.

Now listen, I know a messy room is not the end of the world and that there are a lot of parents who wish their only issue in life is a messy room. Really.
But I am petty and mean. We already went over  that.

My girls are good people. They are healthy. They go to school every day. They work. They are smart and funny and fun to be around….they are who I like to hang out with….NOT in their rooms though.

This is why we can’t have nice things. {in.their.rooms.}

FYI: I’ve threatened to blog about the messy rooms for years. And even more interesting…a certain someone who is a slob is the one who taught me to use the panorama on my phone last week. HA!! That will teach her to educate her Mom.

And an update since I wrote this post on Friday.
I told that certain child that her room must be cleaned TO.MY.STANDARDS by noon on Sunday or her smart phone will be turned into a cell phone. 

See. I still have some leverage. No singing necessary.

And I bet you are all wondering ONE thing after reading this.
Yes, I know where my pickle forks are.

My sanity however has been misplaced.

28 thoughts on “This is why we can’t have nice things.

  1. Poor Suz 😦 I'm mean and petty sometimes too. I was just telling my girls the other day, it's not that I have to have everything neat and tidy all the time, but SHEESH! Most times it looks like a tornado has gone right through my house. And, I'm sorry, but I'm pretty sure my older two are old enough to pick up after themselves from time to time. Of course, Sierra does a pretty good job, but Makenna . . . I mean, someone else who shall remain nameless . . . she drives me nuts! Whew. Feels so good to get that off my chest.


  2. ok, first I pretty much love that armoire in her room – love it even more clean. I know where my pickle forks are – but as for the rest of the clutter…well. Um. Linds might need to come help me.


  3. I think you and I must have been separated at birth… What you described could have (and has) happened at our house, too. I just threaten to do the cleaning myself and get rid of all things I deem unnecessary…


  4. you just me laughing again… and i'm so glad your threat worked!!!! and that you know wheere your pickle forks are. however… my family didn't know you HAD pickle forks, so consider this a warning!! xoxo


  5. Oh how I remember those days… AND–I also remember using leverage when it came to cleaning their rooms. Depending upon how MEAN I was, the leverage worked… I'm not a huge neat-freak –but I like things picked up and in their places…. My problem now is finding time to vacuum and dust—which I don't seem to do much anymore… Guess it's not as important as it used to be… ha ha Hugs,Betsy


  6. Lindsay actually has it pretty easy with just a threat of a smart phone. My mom rounded up my stuff and threw it out in the front yard. Try explaining that to all your 16 year old friends!! Needless to say, my room was STERILE until I left for college after that humiliation.


  7. I used to go into my boys rooms and suck Legos up the vacuum – that really threw them into a panic! Threats did not work – neither did singing – still doesn't, but as they say \”my room has a door, stay on the other side if you find it bothersome\” thats not exactly what they say but words to that effect. When they move out my heart will break and I will miss them and their mess. But for now it drives me INSANE!


  8. I never prescribed to the theory that \”it's her room after all..\” idea. The room is in MY HOUSE and in MY HOUSE we will not have rooms that look like that. (Sorry Linds but I'm on Suz's side in this one.)One of my friends oversaw her son checking info on his preferences for college roommate. He had checked that he liked things neat and tidy. When his mother reminded him that he was so messy, he said \”Yeah. And I don't want to get stuck with somebody else like that.\”


  9. It's refreshing to see that your daughters are normal teenagers after all. If your children are anything like mine were, it only takes 1/100th of the time to get messy that it took to clean up. (I always stayed away from closet doors as well!).


  10. I thought my mom was the only one who said that….and with the complete and total destruction of ALL my plates I have been on the verge of saying it myself. And I won't even tell you what the boys' room looks like…..We'll just leave it at yours looks WAY better than mine.


  11. I LOVE her armoire/wardrobe!!! I am impressed, too that she \”let\” you post the before and after shot. She deserves credit that even when the clothes were everywhere, her floor was still clean. Our daughters carpeted the floor with their clothes – – – – and it was up to them to do their own laundry so I just shut the doors! However, when they moved out, I did DEEP CLEANING!


  12. LMAO. First, love the nifty pano-ramo you have going on there. And I love your threat about the smart phone ending up as a stupid phone. :)You still have the power lady!!And I say the same thing all the time; most recently when I found wadded toilet paper on my guest bathroom ceiling. Not even the kids' bathroom. /sigh


  13. Well done, Mamacita! I am with you in the teenage-room-mess-cleanup-quest. But I will not post a photo of \”his\” room while he is away in Italy. That wouldn't be fair, would it? We can look at this again when he is home for the holidays, though…I like how you roll, Suz. xoxo


  14. Bwhaha I'm starting to think it is a teen girl thing? I had to llok twice to make sure that wasn't my DDs room! Ahh so tired of fighing with her about it. Every once in a while I pull out the \”If you want to have a friend over you have to clean your room\” But she just stuffs everything into her closet. Creating an exploda closet:)


  15. Okay, I'll admit it….I was a slob as a kid. In my defense, I had a really, really small room and NO storage for all my precious belongings aka stuffed animals. My dear dad instituted the \”rule of 10\” where I had to pick up 10 things and put them away before I could come downstairs. Surprisingly, I've never had a problem keeping my own house picked up….although my desk is a disaster and the bane of my husband's existence.


  16. So my son isn't the only one who hasn't figured out how to close drawers and closets? And WHY oh WHY are the kitchen cabinets left hanging open? He's 20. He's been poked, prodded, preached at, paddled, and yet, still, sigh….Finally I said, \”I would like just one thing – well two – not to know what you ate before you went to bed and not to know what you ate all day while I was at work.\” Miraculously that has worked….this week. And yes oh yes the Barney Song was Magical!!!


  17. Sanity is way overrated. It's pickle forks that really matter!I like that second room p hoto much better. Funny, my eldest son was the messiest as a teen. As an adult, he's a complete neat freak. I don't know how that happened, but I doubt I had anything to do with it.


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