Waiting by the phone for HGTV to call and being the victim of a hate crime.

So, for years and years the Coach and I’ve talked about flipping properties. Houses, condos, whathaveyou.
We did such a beautiful renovation on our house and I figured HGTV would be at our door in a minute to feature us on their new spin-off channel: Everything Suz Does Is Fabulous.
I haven’t’ come up with the entire show line up yet, but some ideas for them would be:
Bee like Suz and keep your sh*t tidy
or
Let Suz teach you how to organize your closet by season and color so you don’t appear to be clinically insane.

While I’m waiting for them to come knocking on our door, we completely renovated a small condo on the bay across the street from the Gulf of Mexico.
We plan on using it for seasonal rental and when not renting, we’ll visit and keep our boat there.

Ya’ll, it’s SO stinking cute.

Cocoa and Callie wondering when they can go back to their ‘real’ home. 

I will eventually show real photos.

But, this post isn’t really about that adorable condo that we renovated.

This post is about being hated and targeted with violence.

At this condo, there is a Mockingbird with a vendetta against ME.
Me, of all people. 
Me, the nature lover.
Me, the one who feeds the d*amn birds, squirrels, bees & butterflies.
ME!

I can’t go to the garbage or recycling area without being squawked at.
I can’t go to my car without being assaulted by its ravenous beak and talons.
I can’t take the dogs for a casual walk without being hunted down and dive-bombed.

Y’all. I hate this bird because this bird hates me.
And this bird is making my life very uncomfortable and I’m almost as traumatized as that time I saw a photo of my 80’s self, wearing ALL that blue eyeshadow and NO mascara.

I googled some information because I assumed it had a nest nearby and perhaps wanted to add some of my blonde straw hair to it.
OR it was worried that I wanted its babies. (Lord knows, I don’t want to feed anything more than I already do)
Come to find out, it’s probably worried about its babies and guess what else.
Mockingbirds don’t attack everyone. They generally will attack the same people over and over and not necessarily everyone that comes near it.
I’ve asked around.
I’m the ONLY target for this damn bird.

I guess I’ll hit up my realtor and see if we can move this property and start renovating another one because I think the neigbhors are tired of hearing me scream my head off 4-6 times a day.

8 thoughts on “Waiting by the phone for HGTV to call and being the victim of a hate crime.”

  1. I can't wait to see the rest of the condo! It looks fabulous! You have such a good eye for what goes together. And I think it's hilarious that the bird chose you as it's target. Easy for me to laugh because I'm not the one being attacked!

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  2. know i am laughing with ya. i wonder why some birds get like this? we have a camper friend who gets attacked by cardinals … or at least his truck side mirrors do. but my hubby sees this in his business too. i guess it is a bird thing, would not understand. lol. r u laughing? hope so. ( ;

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  3. I've always been about half afraid of birds…I don't generally like 'em very much…some are beautiful…but I want to look at them afar….and be sure to let us know when HG TV gets in touch with you…..:)

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  4. I hate to tell you, but until one of you moves you will get bombarded every day. 🙂 Screech at it and stand your ground…that's what I do. No, it doesn't work, but it makes me feel less crazy letting a bird chase me. Don't even want to talk about spiders and snakes and red wasps.

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  5. I would die. Alfred Hitchcock's Birds is now playing in my head. For some reason my parents let me watch that movie with them on television when I was quite young. Anyway, mockingbirds will attack cats so I know a person isn't anything for them. Craziness. I hope it has moved on by now.

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