Goldilocks and the new office

I started this post a few weeks ago when we were living our ordinarily boring days. *sigh* 

We converted the girls’ playroom to Coach’s home office.
It’s all finished aside from a desktop and printer.

I guess that means, it’s not 100% finished. I’m a liar. 

I ordered the desk, file cabinet (behind desk) rug and a desk chair from Pottery Barn when they were having a spectacular sale. I was hesitant to even order the chair because it seemed so expensive to me,  but it looked really timeless and comfortable.

Some of the items were taking forever to come in and then I found out that the chair was going to EVEN more delayed.
Finally, I came to my senses, called and canceled the overpriced chair.

Later, the next day I was at Office Depot picking up some printing and I saw some great chairs there. I almost purchased one for him; then I decided I’d let him choose his own chair. 
See, I’m nice. 


The chairs at OD ranged from $200-$400. Much better prices than PB.

I finagled him to go to Office Depot one evening to shop and he poo-pooed every chair he sat in.
Too small.
Too hard.
Too ugly.

Finally, I asked him where he purchased the office chair that he has in his actual office.

“I ordered it online from Costco about 10 years ago.”


Really now.

It goes to show you, we all probably do better with fewer choices in life; that could be a positive spin regarding prison or arranged marriages.

A few weeks later we were in Costco and they had two desk chairs to chose from.
Goldilocks Coach tried them both; and decided that the more inexpensive one was the most comfortable.

Y’all it was $99.

We have too many choices in life and it can make it harder. Right? 

Like right now, I’d take ONE PLY generic TP given the chance.

Oh, and we still have all the kid’s books, toys, and games in the office if the Coach needs to take a break from running our empire company.

So, is anyone making any changes at home? 

Well, aside from rationing paper goods and hiding from sick people?

butterfly lessons and denial

When I was vlogging about my obsession, need, want of the Giant Swallowtails, I assumed everyone knew what they were. Here is what they look like, and they really are large compared to other butterflies.
You know size doesn’t matter, big, small, tall, thin, they’re all beautiful. That was me remembering that butterflies might read this and have body issues. 

Underside of the Giant.

And when they want to hide from the butterfly po-po.

Topside of the Giant

It’s like they are two different critters when sitting as opposed to flying.
Giant swallowtail butterfly images borrowed from here.  They love citrus trees/plants.

Aren’t they gorgeous?

I’ve had some luck with the Eastern black swallowtail; they love parsley, dill, and fennel, which I have growing in the garden.

This boy was released a few weeks ago:

I have to be more diligent in collecting the baby larvae of these because if not, the birds eat them before I can save them.

The birds act like I don’t have food for them; the feeder is always full and still, they want to eat caterpillars. Pretty freaking rude if you ask me.

I’ve released about 25 monarchs this week and I’m going to be forced to slow down because my milkweed can’t grow fast enough with the last batch or four of caterpillars.

I’ve got the whole world in my hand

The world might be falling apart, but here is Suz running around the yard playing with butterflies.
Denial is my favorite place to be. Oh, and Home…home and denial are my favorite places.

Any plans for the weekend? A concert? Shopping at the mall? Moving from the bed to the couch? 
XOXO

I’ve always been crazy, but it’s kept me from going insane.

I don’t know about you, but I’m getting loads of stuff done while in prison home.

*looks around at the pigsty we’ve been living in*

Tuesday had me all: WHAT  CAN  I  CLEAN  NOW?
I cleaned my makeup vanity and all my makeup brushes.

*wonders if or when I’ll wear makeup again*

I cleaned our glass front doors.

Then I started cleaning the glass doors out towards the lanai and then I wondered why we have SO many glass doors in the first place.

But you know what they say about people who live in glass houses…
Ummm, they go through a lot of Windex.

Cleaning glass/windows is my least favorite chore. Ever.

Then I tackled the refrigerator.

Me, proud of my accomplishment to Coach when he came home:
Notice anything different about the fridge?
Him, oblivious to the filth that it was: You gave all our food away?

It really wasn’t filthy, it was just regular dirty.

Now, you can literally eat out of our fridge. 

*patting myself on the back, cause that right there was pure gold*

I’m getting low on pineapple, creamer, and crackers. I might have to venture OUT THERE in a few days.

Unless I can get my sweet husband to go for me.
Or, I can act like it’s the year 2020 and do online order and delivery.

I’d like to see just how long I can go without leaving the confines of our property.
Let’s call this a practice test for in-house arrest, just in case, you know, in the future, I might need to do it for real.

I’m not stir crazy yet.
However, I’ve always been crazy.

Waylon Jennings was also pure gold.

My desk, craft table, and entire laundry room are spic and span; it looks like no one lives here and that’s how I like it.
{kidding}
{Not kidding}

{Y’all realize I know this is a serious virus and I’m not making light of any of it. I pray for those affected by this and those who are vulnerable to it.}  *Please let this pass sooner than later*

What’s the weirdest thing you’ve cleaned this week? 

She Vlogs again; I finally got what I wanted. Spoiler alert, it’s not a baby dolphin. This time

What day are we on for quarantine? 6, 7, 58? 


I’m so thankful for a large yard that I can wander around to get some fresh air; it makes me less sassy. Can you imagine? 

When I was a kid, both my Dad and his Dad were always (when not working) in the yard; planting, trimming, watering, growing stuff.

I always thought that was just what old people do.

And.here.I.am. 

Happy Tuesday.
So, tacos tonight? 

{virtual} XOXO

Human behavior is for the dogs & this Gen X’er doesn’t care about titles or mean robots.

This has nothing to do with the current situation of our planet; I refuse to focus on the insanity.

A few weeks ago I was on the phone with Lolo who was still in the D.C area living and going to school. Does anyone remember a few weeks ago when everything was normal?
Anyhoo, we were on the phone and she was walking her husky Mattis. She lives in a very dense/city area and is frequently asked by people if they can pet her dog. {he’s so fluffy!}
I heard a person ask, she replied and then the person said something I hear over and over when someone visits our house and my dogs get excited:

“oh, he/she/it smells my dog on me, that’s why they’re excited.”


Ummmm….I’m pretty sure they’re excited because they ARE dogs.

Humans are so predictable and Mattis is so fluffy.

***

I posted my first Vlog on Saturday. It was off the cuff and not very exciting. I had a lot of people view it, but not as many commented, so I’ll never do that again.

*takes her bouncy ball, leaves the playground and heads home*

Wait, Linds & Lolo watched/read and said it was funny. But Linds also texted me early Sunday morning to let me know that someone left a really nasty & insulting comment; she tried to delete it before I saw it but wasn’t able to. She didn’t want my feelings to be hurt. How freaking sweet is that? 
I’m sure some of you have been the victim of this “Boomer hater” too.
No? He/she went on and on for about four paragraphs how Boomers are ruining the world, how everyone HATES boomers,
Wait, here’s an excerpt:

Do you boomers realize how universally hated you are? There is not one single demographic that does not hate you- white people, black people, asians, mexicans, indians, chinese, millennials, GenX, GenZ. Something tells me that you boomers are not going to have a very comfortable or easy retirement, especially once you end up in the retirement homes.”

Aren’t Chinese people Asian? 
This is the most politically incorrect spam I’ve received.
This week.

I read it and knew at once it was spam crap and I assured her that it didn’t hurt my feelings at all because:

A) I’ll most likely NOT end up in a retirement home because I feel like I might die in a vehicle with the Coach driving long before that.
OR
B) I’ll die being struck by lightning one clear summer day
(Florida!) while out collecting caterpillars.
AND
I’m not a boomer, I’m Gen X.

Not that I really give two squats about those titles.

Also, I should be doing a lot of squats for the sake of my legs.

Take that you slimy robot with no morals and too much time on your hands!! *As I’m squatting*

***

We had a very quiet weekend. I stayed around the house piddling around the garden/yard, doing some laundry, vacuuming out my silverware drawer (it’s a thing now) and watching copious amounts of TV.
The Coach went out on the boat fishing with a friend most of Sunday; the weather has been glorious and it’ll be over and back to 99* in a minute so it’s best to take advantage now.

FYI: As many times as I’ve asked him to bring me a pet dolphin from the Gulf, he refuses.
I want this blog to be evidence of the abuse/neglect I live with.

So, anything new and exciting in your life?
Did you go to a public place and lick the doorknobs? 
The handrails? 

Sharing is caring.
Well, unless its a virus that causes a pan-freakin-demic.

XOXO

Suz Vlogs; noisy neighbor, dirty hair, butterflies

Happy Saturday.
I never post on the weekends, but I feel like we all need some distractions at this time.
I’ve also never done a vlog.
This is unprecedented and pretty boring.
Also, I sound very nasally because lately, I am.

Yes, I talk to the butterflies and the bees; they don’t mind if I’m especially nasally this weekend.

I mentioned this week that Lindsay’s juice bar closed down. They had just received an order of produce so yesterday she and the other peeps had to clear everything out.

She brought over a ton of fresh produce last night, way more than we can ever use. I’m giving a handful to my friend down the street (a family of 6) and keeping just a bit for the two of us.
The rest is going to our friends in Fort Myers who cook and feed the homeless every weekend in a public park.

Don’t you love it when a negative can be turned into a positive? That’s some good science right there.

Dust off the video button on your smartphone and share part of your day to distract the rest of us. Pleeaaase!!!

XOXO

The one where the dogs are living their best life, Debbie Downer shows up, Suz learns and most likely we’re all gonna live.

The coach and I might run out of TP, but our dogs will be eating well for the next few weeks.
Their food batch is usually bigger than this, but I could not get my hands on any ground turkey (or any poultry) for the last week; so ground beef, eggs, rice and loads of veggies will suffice.

They congregate in the kitchen ( nor more than four of us, I swear!) for the entire prep, cooking and jarring, just waiting to lick the pans.

She’s finally satisfied, after licking all five pans and then re-licking them just in case.

***
Lindsay’s juice bar officially closed yesterday; she understands, but she’s bummed because working is a great distraction.
Did you know that my girls read my blog? {Hi Linds!}
Sometimes they’ll call me and talk about something I shared on the blog, but not in real life. Such as the recent crazy azz neighbor.

***
I’m sure you haven’t slept a wink wondering what I’ve been up to; get ready to nap.

*Laundry.
*Eating.
*Listening to music.
*Cleaning out some random drawers (did I have to keep every collar of every dog we’ve ever had?)
*Watching more TV than usual; I’m on a run of Property Brothers right now; they have about 79 different shows and I like them all.
*Eating.
*Judging people on the Facebook.
*Trying to keep all my monarch caterpillars alive and fed.
*Eating.
*Pulling weeds in the garden of weeden.
*Exercising. But not enough to put a dent in the bad eating.
*Cleaning
*Laundry (how many people live here?)
*Eating

*Eating==some of that means drinking wine. You’re not new here, you knew that.

***
I was having a conversation with Lolo recently making a comment about human behavior and she suggested that I go into observational humor. {Hi, Lolo!}
I believe she meant as a means to make $.
Then she remembered that is what I have already been doing for my family and I’ll never get paid for it.
In the words of Debbie Downer: whaaa whaaa whaaaa 


***
Would you like to know something that I learned this week that I probably should have learned or known about 40 years ago? 
Do you?
Really? 
It’s kind of silly…..
It’s gonna make me look like the facebook people…

The Coach purchased corned beef this past weekend and said he was going to make pastrami.
Me: Wait, how do you make corned beef into pastrami?
Him: You put it in the smoker and voila!


I always kind of wondered what the difference was between pastrami and corned beef; now I know. It only took 52 1/2 years.
FYI: It was good.
But it’s not good for you.
But also, I would pair it with a white.
Or a red.
Who really cares at this point.

***
They officially closed our beaches yesterday. They most likely wouldn’t have had to do that if there weren’t a bajillion spring breakers congregating IN close PROXIMITY on the beaches.
Ummmm, hello, does anyone understand what social distancing means? 
I do wonder about people, but I don’t want to wonder too much because I’m not getting paid for it.

So, distract me from any impending doom.
What are you up to? Are you vacillating between doom and sunshine? 
I still have a lot of faith in our country. I honestly never thought we’d be in this position right now, but I feel we will be on the other side of this in a few weeks. {Praying on bended knee!}

Share your thoughts.
Maybe I’m a bubblehead. Maybe I’m too optimistic.
Hell, maybe I’m on the wine again.
Sharing is caring.
You too Maddie

Bee a sharer.
Bee a carer.
Don’t be a downer if you can spar-er. (hey, it rhymed!)

XO