What’s happening to me? Possible harlot action and Mom’s the word.

On By SuzIn As blogged by Suz

First. I have a bone to pick with all of you. Whatevertheheckthatmeans.

My last post was out there on THE world WIDE internet for an entire day with a misspelling in the flipping title.

No one could point that out? Help a sista’ out? 

I was so embarrassed that I almost deleted 12 years’ worth of posts.

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What’s happening to me? 

I’ve been waking up early. I am NOT a morning person. 

Also, I wake up stiff and sore. I’m on the floor doing down-dog with the dogs trying to get this body to warm up for the day.

I’m not sure exactly what’s happening, but my only conclusion is that I’M GETTING OLD.

One morning last week I declared to the Coach: It’s Happening.

Since he’s two years ahead of me, he understands exactly what’s happening.

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Shopping used to be a pleasure. 

I went to Publix yesterday for our grocery run. I honestly can’t remember the last time I went INTO a store because we’ve been doing delivery. Maybe a month ago? 

I thought, hey you’re a big girl Suzanne; you can do it. 

Actually, since this has all started, I’m an even BIGGER girl.

Working on that…

In the past when the shit-show started I was panicky going to the store.

The mask. Wiping the cart down. THE MASK. Don’t touch your face. Follow the arrows in the aisles. THE MASK. Your eye isn’t itching, don’t’ touch it! The mask! Don’t yell at people who are clearly not capable of following general rules. The MASK!

It felt like a version of Gilead from The Handmaids Tale.

 

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Pic borrowed from NY times

Limited conversation, limited eye contact. Surreal.

But yesterday, I was ok. I don’t love wearing the mask, but I was ok with it all.

I’m pretty darn proud of myself. Unless I wake up with the virus tomorrow. 

Before my shopping escapade, I actually put on a real bra (I’m a sadist) tinted moisturizer AND mascara; I felt like a harlot. A 1986 glamour shot harlot. 

I even wore a ring and earrings to Publix. I was feeling all sorts of crazy as I’ve not worn makeup or jewelry in quite a while. H.A.R.L.O.T

IMG_0197
In 1986, I decided that I wanted ALL of the blue eyeshadow; none for you! Beauty school Suz 1986.

Were those actual doorknobs that I fashioned into earrings? No wonder my Etsy shop closed.

____

I had a great post written regarding some really exciting butterfly news. Then I realized, maybe you don’t care to read an entire post about my exciting butterfly news. Do you? 

 

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It kind of feels like this was the last time I was ‘close’ with my girls. 2001?

Happy mothers day to all you mothers of humans, of critters, of dragons, aunties, grandma’s, and Dad’s who’ve stepped up when Mom fled to Vegas. Lest we forget the motha’s too.

XOXO

 

Image 5-6-20 at 7.13 AM

 

 

 

29 thoughts on “What’s happening to me? Possible harlot action and Mom’s the word.”

  1. I’m a blonde but never went for blue eye shadow. I went more with a lavender shade, but why I did this I couldn’t explain. Then I went through an olive green phase which was equally awful. I am so glad no photos of me survive from that era. You’re brave to share yours here.

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  2. Melanie Galliano

    I had that same hairstyle in the 80s. I wore blue eye shadow AND blue mascara! Loved that stuff so much. I haven’t ‘did’ my hair or put on makeup in weeks. At least I’ve finally mastered the messy bun – I think!

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  3. Misspelling? I did not notice. Swear. Spelling is not my strength. I would have spoken up just like I would if we were having lunch and you had food in your teeth. Dare to dream. Not the food in your teeth, the lunch.

    Oh my- that 80s photo and the doorknobs. Hilarious. Maybe I should be grateful Mom forbid makeup and made me wear my hair like a boy in the 80s. I never had pierced ears. Grosses me out.

    Love the pic with the girls. So sweet. You look the same! No aging evidence with you despite your stiff joints. I still cannot bend my knee all the way.

    I had a hair in my mouth. Under my mask my last shopping trip. That was not annoying at all.

    Oh, and I would read your butterfly posts. Happily. Big departure from my day to day but different is interesting. 🙂

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    1. Yes, lunch. *sigh*
      Thank you for the compliments; time is marching on and there’s no stopping it. Glad to be healthy and HERE.
      OMG. You shopped with a hair in your mouth and couldn’t pull it out? Yeah, not.fun.

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  4. WHAT THE HELL DID YOU MISSPELL? By the way, misspell was one of Ella’s spelling words this week. Otherwise, I probably would’ve misspelled misspell.

    I had those earrings. That look like mini manhole covers?

    I am so proud of you going into a store. I had to go into Walmart to pick up something at the return desk and it was the most stressful part of my week. Never thought I would say that. Actually, Walmart was stressful before the pandemic.

    I love that picture of you and your girls. So sweet and yes, I wish mine were snuggly like that still, I mean, we still hug and all but there is nothing like a squishy toddler.

    Happy Mothers Day, friend!

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    1. I misspelled Rememeber. 😉 Also, misspelled mispell a minute ago. It’s an epidemic.

      Manhole covers; yes, but not as useful.

      I was proud of myself too. I can’t.won’t.refuse to go to the Walmart.

      I loved my squishy little girls. But I also love my squishy big girls and I want to squish them terribly.

      XOXO

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  5. Hey Suz! I’ve had misspelled titles too! But … when I went out yesterday I went with the uni-boob. Sports bra. I wear them all the time. I love them. I hadn’t been out in months, it was fun to hit the grocery store and load up. Happy Weekend!

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  6. happy mother’s day to you, my friend! i do love that picture of you & your girlies. too sweet! how fun to get all glammed up for publix! you do need to live up to the motto of where shopping is a pleasure! it’s surreal to me that the arrows on the floor are now real…

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  7. Debra She Who Seeks

    First of all, I LOVE your header photo of the bees among the purple flowers! And as for waking up early and feeling like hell, have you hit menopause? I haven’t had a full or good nights sleep since I hit menopause 13 years ago. Just a heads up.

    As a lesbian, makeup has never been my thing. BUT in the 80s my favourite outfit involved a jet black pull-over with raglan sleeves and silver studs PLUS great big silver clip-on earrings that looked exactly like goddamn door knockers. Thank the Goddess I have no photographic evidence of me in that get-up.

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    1. I love that photo too; thanks for the compliment.
      I’m on the verge of menopause, so yes, that could be a side effect. Getting up earlier isn’t horrible for me though, it’s actually beneficial. Feeling like hell? Not so much.
      Oh, I wish you had a pic of you in that 80’s outfit. Did your earlobes recover from the door knockers?

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      1. Debra She Who Seeks

        They seemed fine at the time. But you know, your nose and ears keep growing all your life and now that I am getting up there in years, I notice that my ear lobes are about twice the size they used to be. Horrors!

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  9. nicoleboyhouse

    THAT GLAMOUR SHOT OMG SUZ.

    That was amazing. Also, I also think about the Handmaid’s Tale while shopping, my friend Marietje always says “blessed be the fruit” now when she buys flour, it cracks me up.

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  12. Nana Diana

    LOL, Suz. I have done that same thing with a word spelled wrong -or- used a wrong tense and didn’t realize it until well after it had been ‘out there’ for a while. How embarrassing. My father would be rolling (taught English lit) lol
    My daughter (Lord love her-she is crazier than I am) went to the grocery store dressed in the red Handmaids cloak AND the white hat-(she wore it at Halloween last year). She called me from the parking lot and asked me if she thought anyone would “get it”….lol..Gotta love a 40 year old ‘kid’ like that!
    Happy Mother’s Day, Suz. Hope you were able to get a bra on for the day. lol xo Diana

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  13. bibliomama2

    Our brains are so good at seeing what they expect to, it’s probably that no one even noticed the typo. It also destroys my soul when I find typos in past work. Someone once tipped me off that I had typed “stewed hair” instead of “hare” in a post once and I was unutterably grateful because… ew. I snort-laughed at the doorbell earrings thing. I wore enormous tinted glasses for a while as a teen-ager and thought I was the shit. In retrospect? Not a good look.

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