The one where I might be lazy, but not gassy.

I had to run a few errands yesterday, and when I got home I stopped to pick up a few amazon boxes left by our gate. Hmmmm…..do you also order things and forget what you ordered? It’s like Christmas for me every couple of weeks.

Anyhoo, I brought them in the house with some other stuff out of my car and sat the boxes on the mudroom counter. I then went about my normal stuff; stripping out of my hot clothes, (when the heat index is 108*, all clothes are hot clothes) getting some water, giving Callie her afternoon cookie, feeding some caterpillars, etc…. I finally sat down at the kitchen island where my laptop was resting so I could send some emails. I looked over at the Amazon boxes and thought: I should open those, but the mudroom counter is about 12 feet from where my butt was now residing.

Instead, I went into my Amazon account and saw what was delivered. I can’t believe I admitted that to the world. I was kinda shocked at myself, but now I know what’s in those boxes without getting up. So, lazy? Or genius?


I will not name names, but just know that it wasn’t ME who said this. Recently *someone* told me that they’ve been having bouts of farting and they smell like blackberries and hot garbage. I can’t make that up…blackberries and hot garbage.

I make a smoothie each morning. (I call it my joint smoothie, not because of pot, but because the ingredients are made for my aging joints)

I add a few pieces of mixed frozen fruit for flavor, and usually a blackberry will make it’s way in there and then I’m scared I’m going to be blowing out that interesting combination. IT was NOT ME that said I’d been having issues like that. I.swear.to.babyJesus. And fear not, the outcome has not happened, BUT, I can’t see a blackberry and not think of it.

Please note, that I DID get up and walk the 6 feet to the refrigerator to snap a pic of my frozen non-farting fruit. NOT. SO.LAZY for the win.


I’m still getting flowers delivered every two weeks and these might be my favorite so far; so summery. Do you blog? Do you share photos? I will bet you an egg salad sammich (gas inducing!) that a comment will come through that just acknowledges the flowers. I don’t think ALL people like to read words, but really do enjoy looking at pretty pictures.

I don’t really care that much, but I find it funny. One day, I’ll make a post about death and destruction, but add in lots of pretty pictures. *giggle giggle* That makes me laugh just thinking about it. Thank goodness I’ve not lost my sense of humor in all the hellfire.

Wishing you all a nice weekend doing something that isn’t gas inducing. Unless, that’s your jam. Who am I to judge?

XOXO

19 thoughts on “The one where I might be lazy, but not gassy.

  1. I am going to write a blog post using only swear words and pictures of baby animals and see if anyone notices.
    I feel like this will make for a great blog experiment.
    I have started taking loads of vitamins in addition to my migraine meds and eating like a hippie to avoid having headaches. Anna said to me the other day, MOM, YOU ARE EATING LIKE ONE OF THOSE CALIFORNIA LADIES.
    Not sure if that’s a compliment or not.
    But my farts smell very organic, if you get my drift.

    Thank you for making me laugh at 7:55 in the morning.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Debra She Who Seeks

    Why have you focused on the “blackberry” fragrance aspect and not the “hot garbage” aspect? Ewwww! Blackberries are the least of [not your] issues!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Good grief, you guys are having some HOT temps!!! Too funny that you could look up what was ordered and not have to get up! lol So many folks I know are having smoothies for breakfast. Fortunately for me, I won’t have to worry about blackberries and the “aftermath” because I can’t eat them due to diverticulitis! I do love these flowers – WOW! They are so beautiful. What a treat to receive a new variety every 2 weeks. Hope you all have a delightful weekend. I do know what you mean about folks only looking at pics on my blog…..if you’ll notice I usually only show one photo and one subject (otherwise some of the “blog info” is just wasted! lol

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Billie Jo Stoltz

    Hello! I always love visiting you! I am the exact same way with Amazon! Steve says, “What did you order now?” I wish I knew!!!!
    LOVE your new look around here! Have a cozy weekend! Stay cool!

    Liked by 1 person

  5. This post totally cracked me up. Looking at the photo though, I was thinking that you were going to say that the pig’s butt, or is it a dog’s butt? – made from wire hanging over the door frame hopped out of the box when you weren’t looking and maybe Coach hung it up as a surprise. It is super cute, but apparently NOT what your post was about. I feel like I should have access to Mary Ann’s amazon account so I could decide if her packages that arrive at my house are worth her getting worked up about in advance. Ha. I am totally guilty of not remembering what I order on Amazon. I get a huge box when I reorder my GF oatmeal, and I get all excited, for about 30 seconds.

    Pretty flowers. The fart smelling combo is quite unique. Had not heard a description like that. My kids compared my gaseous smells to the sulfur smell of the geysers at Yellowstone when we were there 10 years ago. Just to be clear: this issue has improved immensely since the celiac disease diagnosis in 2015.

    Like

  6. I think all that heat may be getting to you. You need to come to the mountain — you could pick wild blackberries and think about bears rather than other things. By the way, we have some pretty wildflowers also.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Yesterday I got all excited because I was at my daughters and I saw via our security camera that FedEx delivered something to our door! I couldn’t remember ordering anything so I was thinking someone sent me some fabulous gift or something! Unfortunately, it was medical supplies I had ordered and forgotten about! Bummer!

    Liked by 1 person

  8. You looked it up on your account. Funny gal. I get that with my videos. Sometimes I’ll get a comment that suggests, strongly, but I can’t say for sure, that the person didn’t watch the video all the way through. Or, maybe they skipped about. Flowers though, they are fun to look at. Sometimes if a blog post is too long, I won’t remember everything by time I get to the comments section. But flowers, those stand out. Funny stories do too and you write them well.

    I want to end this by saying Happy Weekend but I think I heard that it’s Thursday. Smoochie Face and I are enjoying the heck outta him just being home. He doesn’t get to be here enough, that’s for sure. What a treat this little mini stayca is. Cheers and boogie boogie.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. bibliomama2

    I love that you looked up what was in the packages because you were too lazy to just open them. I walked outside the evening of last garbage day and found my husband having a beer with our neighbour while they compared stacks of Amazon boxes. The flowers are also very pretty.

    Liked by 1 person

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