The one where I earn my Ph.D. in all things Pelican.

The Coach and I went out on the boat this past weekend; the upside is it was a gorgeous day, the downside was it was as hot as hell and the water was a bit rough; it was a wear ‘two sports bras’ kind of boating trip but I was unprepared and was wearing a standard bathing suit. Am I complaining about being on the boat on a beautiful day? It certainly sounds like it.

I’m not always the most observant person, but I noticed a ton of pelicans on Saturday. I mean, we always have pelicans, but it seemed like a seriously LARGE amount everywhere we went. Is there a pelican season? Are they Gremlins?

They were all over the docks, waterways, signs, sea walls, and even IN the water. Did you know they can float? Professional floaters is what they are.

Max, who thinks he’s a badass, usually bows up and starts barking at random dogs, garbage trucks, bicycles, and recently a guy in a wheelchair who wanted to say hi to him. He started to act like he had a pair when he saw a pelican at the dock but then hid behind us when it moved. Little shit.

Seeing all of these large pelicans, spurred my intrigue: Why don’t you ever see baby pelicans? I pondered this thought with the Coach and he thought that possibly, they aren’t much smaller than adults when born and maybe we just don’t see the difference. Goodness, that was a terrible answer; clearly, he is NOT a pelican specialist.

I checked with ye ole’ google machine:

Something unusual about our populations of coastal pelicans is that baby pelicans are never seen. This is because pelicans nest far away in inland or remote locations in large breeding colonies

And then I found some pictures of baby pelicans, who are obviously much smaller when born since they come out of an egg. I’m directing this at you Coach…

Found this pic on Reddit, can not locate who the pic belongs to. Sorry if I stole your pic.

Have you ever seen anything as cute as that?

*gag, winch, twitch, winch, gag*

Good lord, I can’t even write a lie without winching; that image will haunt my dreams forever.

That might possibly be the most unattractive creature that God put on the earth. What was he thinking?

Do you know that the species name is Pelecanus? Yes, there is an anus at the end of pelican, now I’m starting to get the whole picture.

A group of pelicans is called a pod. Actually, there are many other names for pelican groupings — a pouch, a scoop, a squadron or if they are fishing as a group, a fleet.

Then in my research, (which by the way I am NOT getting paid for, so if you learn anything from my blog, please thank me in the comments. It’s the least you can do) I found this meme that someone made. I laughed SO hard.

I shared it with my family and my typically very intelligent husband looked at me seriously and asked what IS a testicle swan and is that a real thing?

Good lawd, I just LOL’ed while writing this with tears streaming down my face.

Testicle swan; that should bring some interesting search inquiries my way.

I generally post on Monday mornings, but I’m gonna send this out into the world on Sunday because as things go around here, ya’ll won’t see it until Tuesday. Damn internet, what’s it good for? Scary pictures of baby pelicans, that’s what.

XO

14 thoughts on “The one where I earn my Ph.D. in all things Pelican.

  1. About to go to bed and I noticed a post from you. This is awesome. So hilarious and funny. Made my night.

    Has Coach recently hit his head? Baby Pelicans born full size? Asking for clarification on testicle swan? Like it was a thing? Too much. I cannot stop laughing. We are laughing with you Coach. 😉

    I hope this is not one of those things that only you can laugh at your spouse. Because I can’t help myself.

    I’m thinking pelicanus rhymes with heinous. Perhaps we don’t see them because their parents hide them as a kindness due to their ugliness.

    First I learned all about butterflies and now baby pelicans. Where will the sharing of great info stop? Poor Max. That was a riot. I want a t-shirt with testicle swan on it. With the baby pelican’s photo of course.

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    1. No, I don’t think he hit his head, but I do think that sometimes he’s thinking about something else and there I am yammering on about pelicans so I get a half-assed response. 😉
      Heinous, another good term for those not.so.pretty babies.
      Testicle swan T-shirt coming up!

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  2. I LOVE YOUR BLOG. I did not know about the breeding habits of pelicans and NOW I DO. Well. Those aren’t the cutest babies ever, are they? Yeeeeeeesh. I can’t wait for all the traffic you’re going to get from “testicle swans.”

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  3. Good lord. I’m struggling to come up with any possible animal that could be born full size. Heavens.

    That is on par with my daughter-in-love who was ASTOUNDED to find out that cows do, in fact, LIE DOWN.

    Thank you for all the Pelican Info. Saves me time…someday…I’m sure. 😉

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  4. OMG you have the best posts.
    You’re gonna hate mine today.
    Sad for a Monday but I needed to get the feels out.

    I mean they totally look like testicles. I can’t wait to see the kind of people who now show up to your blog.
    I hope to GOD they don’t come over to my blog next.
    Especially because I’ve been writing about periods and menopause as of late……super….

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    1. Thank you for the compliments and NO I didn’t hate your Monday post at all.
      Baby testicles. Ughhh….so not pretty to look at, but I’m sure they have great personalities.

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    1. You know what, I’m not sure about the population increase and the hurricane….my first instinct is to say no because Sally went over our area first (we had a day and a half of nonstop rain) so it seems the pelicans would have had to fly through Sally to flee the worst areas to get to us. But, honestly, I don’t know for sure. I like the way your brain works.

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