Shanking the USPS, Scarring Children & Giggles

I thought I didn’t have anything to blog about after all my Christmas from the past posts. Can you imagine? Me, running out of things to say? Well, I will say that I’m annoyed that my Cards from Shutterfly were supposed to be here last Friday, then Saturday, then Monday, then Tuesday, then Wednesday….wait, you see where this is going. I’ve never sent my cards out so late.

Is there going to be a penalty? Will my name be on a naughty list? Will Christmas be cancelled?


My friend Ernie turned me onto this silly little video clip and I watched it no less than 5 times and laughed hysterically each time before sending it on to my girls.

What is wrong with me for laughing? Don’t answer because you have a glimmer after reading the last few Suz’s childhood posts.

Way back in the day when both of the girls were still living at home, I had to constantly remind them to do.the.things.I.wanted.them.to.do. Of course, those things were not important to them, but in this house, I like things to be tidy. put away. out of sight. I stopped doing their laundry when they started high school because I know for a fact that there were times someone would try on an outfit, a minute later decide to NOT wear said outfit and toss it into the hamper. This is why some Mothers empty the bank account, flee to Vegas and live a solitary life. I know you’ve thought about it too.

So, laundry. There was a day (probably more like 400 days) that someone left their clothes in either the washer or dryer and I was needing to do laundry because I essentially do laundry every.single.day or the world might go up in flames. I was getting annoyed because I reminded the offender at least once, but it felt more like 20 times on this particular occasion to move.their.freaking.laundry to the next step. I walked into the family room and said offender(s) were on the Coach watching tv; I’d hit my limit. I said shouted sternly with bugged eyes staring at them “L A U N–D R Y!” Boy, oh boy, feet were moving and the faces were a bit frightened by my tone and scary expression.

To this day, when we’re together one of us will just chime in with LAUNDRY! if things are not going how I want them to go.

We have a few videos that we love to quote/mimic. Have you seen Ava? I’m 16, I’m a Grandmotha!

One of our favorite lines too is How About Cupcakes? I recall showing this one to my Mom and it was one of her favorite lines when I was taking care of her while she was sick.

I quote her at least once a week with How ’bout Cupcakes? But, I rarely eat cupcakes, so I should come up with something else. “How ’bout Wine?”

You know when you’re having a conversation with someone and they just stare at you blankly and say nothing? That’s what it feels like when you visit, but don’t comment. It makes you look silly, not that I can see you.

My dear fellow weirdlings, please leave me a comment with a link or a description of your favorite video clip or line that you use around your people. Think of it as a Christmas gift to Suz.

XOXO

20 thoughts on “Shanking the USPS, Scarring Children & Giggles

  1. OMG that poor little child writing on that paper, that woman sounds dreadful but that little girl is ALL of us. I could watch that over and over.
    I feel like I am that cupcake girl too! How ’bout chocolate? How ’bout tequila? How ’bout tacos? Oh, never gets old.

    I could watch the video clip of the baby walking down the hallway and then he (or she not sure) gets scared and immediately turns down the hallway and walks in the other direction. OMG, that always makes me laugh. Or the baby who is in the entertainment center thing, oh you know! The thing we used to put our kids in when we didn’t want to parent them? Anyway, and someone sneezes and they get scared and their eyes get enormous? I AM NOT DESCRIBING THIS WELL AT ALL.

    OH! I have another one! Type into the YouTube search engine, “screaming goats”. Hours of entertainment.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The little girl is scarred for life. As are my offspring.
      How ’bout tacos? I likey!
      I know what you’re talking about with the baby walking and then NO, NO, NO, I’m going back!
      The scary sneezer; classic funny baby shit. Well, you know what I mean, not actual poop.
      Our friends on the East Coast always want us to get goats because we have property. After hearing them scream…no thank you.

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Yikes….I may have a load in the washing machine that probably should have been dried yesterday…

    I had to laugh at your description of your girls trying on an outfit only to immediately discard it into the laundry hamper. The only reason Man-Child learned to do laundry so young was because I completely LOST it when I found perfectly clean AND folded clothes in the hamper. I had washed, dried, folded them and told him to put them away…apparently, he thought it was easier to just dump them right back into the hamper. Damn kids.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. 16blessingsmom

    Laundry!!!! I think it’s hilarious that you all can joke about it now, but I KNOW that in the moment it is so NOT FUNNY. We have 16 kids, only four left at home, and people would say, “Oh well at least the older ones help you.” They obviously never had teenagers who left one load in the washer and one in the dryer, then left for work. Anyway, the goat scream thing, oh dear. My grandson Wulf, named so in-aptly, is terrified of goat’s screams. Apparently it happened in the Grinch movie, and if you want to stop Wulf dead in his tracks when he’s up to no good, just ask him if he’d like to hear a goat scream. He’ll shake his head NO vigorously, and tell you very seriously that no, he would NOT like to hear that.
    I sent a box of homemade Christmas cookies to my son in California, for his birthday, chose the two day shipping. It’s been nine days and he hasn’t gotten it yet. $20 to send a box of stale cookies. Anyway, you asked for comments, you got it! Next time you’ll say, “But not Della, she writes novels in the comment section…”

    Liked by 1 person

    1. SO funny about little Wulf and the screaming goats.
      I can’t believe you did all that beautiful baking and your son will not get to enjoy the cookies.
      Bring on the novel comments, I love them!

      Like

  4. I’m feeling so special for introducing you to ‘Don’t write on that!’ clip. It is so flipping funny. If only I had thought to video the many times I scolded my crew. My home was always up for grabs.

    When I was growing up, my dad used to yell at us when he heard us going into the fridge for a drink. “DRINK WATER!” – he was all about the budget and he hated that we were costing him money to quench our thirst. We cannot get together without someone shouting across the room when someone opens a cold one: DRINK WATER!

    A few years ago Coach was grilling. There was some dispute about why he wasn’t using cheese on the burgers. He barked at my ‘where’s the cheese?’ question and then stepped back out on the deck, closing the door. The kids and I whispered in confusion – we were dumbfounded and when Coach came back inside I guess our faces were a little blank. So Coach yelled: DON’T LOOK AT ME! Well, thank you Coach for our current favorite quote to mimic. When Lad came back from school on his next break, we had to fill him in because ‘DON’T LOOK AT ME’ came up so often.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Pingback: Fake It Until You Make It: A Good Motto For Every{damn}thing This Year. – Busy Bee Productions

  6. Maddie

    I’ve been hiding from the internet but I missed your blog man. So I’m Here but not Really Here because I’m still hiding but I’m so so grateful your blog is still here, still ridiculously funny and you n your fam are hopefully still doing ok. Have a wonderful Christmas.

    Oh – That meme should appear on the official USPS page when you attempt to track. At least we’d get a giggle! The real tragedy is “detailed tracking”…. seeing your parcel reach the city next to you, only to then (why??) be whisked off to a state many many states away. Oh the humanity. Oh 2020.

    Ok. I’m gonna go hide in a book. Stay safe.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you for coming out of hiding for a quick visit-your comments always bring a smile to my face so thank you!! Wishing you all the best in 2021. What could possibly go wrong? 🤫

      Like

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