The Masks Are Messing With My Eyesight and It’s Probably Time To Talk About Teeth Again, Right?

I was in the grocery store recently when it dawned on me: I do not see well while wearing a mask.

Surprisingly, I wasn’t wearing this type of mask although, I remember that feeling clearly.

I was wearing This type of mask. Just like the rest of you.

{Don’t even act surprised by the butterflies}

Something about it messes with my peripheral vision and I always think someone is coming up behind or next to me. I feel completely paranoid and partially blind. And if I’m wearing a ball cap? Forgettaboutit. I’m running into things. If I had to wear glasses as well, I might as well get a Guide Dog to assist me.


GIVE ME ALL THE GUM

I’m finally done with my Invisalign treatment. I started this teeth straightening journey last January. I pick up my retainer next week and I pray that I don’t leave it wrapped up in a napkin at TGI Fridays and then have to beg the staff to let me dig through the garbage for it. If that hasn’t happened to you or your kids, you’re missing out on a nice bonding experience.

I believe I shared with you the reason for my Invisalign; not so much for the straightening/vanity part, but for the gap that was growing between my back molars and food being stuck in there constantly. Did you know your teeth keep moving as you age? Add that to growing ears and noses: JOY! So, no more gappage to attract chicken or lettuce and also, straight teeth. But, my dentist did the old bait and switch thing…he didn’t tell me until I was DONE that I will have to wear a retainer for the REST OF MY LIFE (at night) or my teeth will move again. He’s so sneaky and now wealthier thanks to me.

What am I most excited about other than not getting stuff stuck between my teeth?

CHEWING GUM, she screams!

I’m a gum chewing addict and I’ve not been able to chew gum for an entire year. There must be some sort of reward for curbing my addiction for so long. Where is my hand engraved plaque?

Valentines Day Idea; you’re welcome.

Do you remember when I posted about finding a box of baby teeth? It was in July and you’ve not had anything else exciting happen, so you must remember.

I saw this craft project recently and I thought DAMN, why didn’t I think of this?

Did I just hear someone throw up in their mouth? Wait, that was me.

Anyhoo, who the hell are we sharing the planet with? Freaking weirdos, that’s who. I’m not even kidding when I tell you that there are tons of Etsy stores wanting to make pretty weird things out of your teeth. Those crafters are probably hanging out behind Dentist offices like junkies asking, “hey, you got any incisors today? how about a canine? C’mon man, I jussstttt need one!”

Can you even imagine? Earrings? Pinkie Rings? How about a belly button ring with your Dad’s molar? A statement necklace? oh, yeah, THAT IS A STATEMENT and the statement is you’re a loon, stay away.

*Phew* *Deep breaths Suzanne, deep breaths* Goodness. I’m all riled up like I downed a Mountain Dew.

Happy Friday. We made it another week and the planet has not imploded upon itself which I thought for sure might happen.

Anyone else feel blinded by their mask? Any plans this weekend? And might those plans include flossing and brushing your pearly whites?

Bee well my friends.

XOXO

28 thoughts on “The Masks Are Messing With My Eyesight and It’s Probably Time To Talk About Teeth Again, Right?

  1. WHY DO WE NOT LIVE CLOSER?
    Oh, I know why. God thinks it isn’t a good idea/ We’d be causing too much trouble.
    First, I would wear those Halloween masks everywhere nowadays if I could find one. While wearing my surgical mask underneath.
    Of course, that might suffocate me to death.
    What a way to go, though.

    I also am finishing up my Invisalign in a few weeks.
    HOW DID I NOT KNOW THIS ABOUT US??
    And I will also wear a retainer. So no gum for me as well.

    Those teeth rings reminded me of the post you wrote about finding the baby teeth in your playroom.
    Oh, I needed this post today.
    You are a gift.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Can you imagine the shenanigans if we were neighbors?
      Yay for Invisalign twins!! My retainer is only to be worn at night, so I can chew all the darn gum I want all.day.long.
      Yes, the baby teeth box….who knew I could sell those?!

      Liked by 1 person

  2. Listen, the fact that someone came up with the idea to make that dead people tooth jewelry is what we really have to worry about. It was for DEAD PEOPLE TEETH. Not some overly sentimental mom who said, “Here’s a Pinterest idea for filling a plain glass ornament with baby teeth to make a Christmas Memory.” It was some macabre ghoul who wants to wear the Teeth Of The Dead.

    Let’s not even think of how this artiste wants to go about GETTING THE TEETH. I’m out.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Debra She Who Seeks

    Remember that Monty Python animation where the guy’s teeth move around and do a little dance in his mouth in time with music? That’a what this post reminded me of, LOL!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I had Invisalign at one point. It was trippy to feel my teeth move, but am glad I did it. Those teeth rings are creepy. You’re right, the statement is you’re a loon. When wearing a mask I have no problem with my peripheral vision, but my glasses are almost perpetually fogged up. That’s annoying.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I feel weird in a mask. Like I’m in disguise – even though everyone else is in the same boat. I need my readers to see what I’m doing so that complicates things. I lost my favorite mask a few weeks ago. I swear one of my offspring has it. When I find out who . . .

    I was just complaining about getting strings of asparagus stuck in the space between my teeth. Ed: WHY? I told him that my teeth now have more space between them. Now I know why – because they move. I’ll tell Mr. Young what he has to look forward to.

    When I was really little like under 5, my sibs and I chewed gum. Looking back that seems weird. My mom outlawed gum chewing when we were still very young because she claimed that we chewed gum like a cow. Maybe because I was 4? I never started up again, afraid of looking cow-ish in public and all. My kids were never allowed gum because they left it places . . . in my house. I’ve mentioned that neatness is not a thing with us, right?

    Congrats on being done with Invisaline, but a retainer at night as a secret part of the deal BITES. Get it? Art with teeth is downright disturbing.

    Curly has a basketball tournament Sunday night. I hardly know what to do with myself. Plans. What should I wear? So exciting.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think we all feel weird in masks, but the only good thing is that people don’t see me talking to myself in public. 😉
      Tell Mr. Young that he has much to look forward to; bigger nose and ears, unrelenting farts. Oh wait, he might enjoy that part.
      I’ve seen/heard people who chew their gum like a cow chewing cud. If only your Mom had a minute to explain to you how to properly chew gum? I do not chew it while talking to people. Usually it’s when I’m driving…kind of my stress reliever.
      Goodness. Please, let us know what you decide to wear to the basket ball tourney!! Is your wedding dress cleaned?

      Like

  6. i had a casper mask… could not see. also, the current masks? can not see. because glasses. and then the ball cap. yes, the cap because… why am i wasting hair spray?

    please stop by for your gum plaque later… and a tooth ring.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. OMG, this was hilarious! Invisalign – been there and have the retainer to prove it! Baby teeth – going through my late mom’s stuff when packing for my move and found a box of my (and my sisters’ teeth too, I presume)…love (not!) the jewellery idea but my luck I would be wearing my sisters’ teeth and not my own. Keep it up, girl! We need to laugh.

    Deb

    Liked by 1 person

  8. I figured I’m not seeing as well while wearing the mask because I’ve pretty much exclusively wearing my glasses. For all those whose glasses fog up with the mask – try this – tuck the top of the mask under the bridge of your glasses. That seems to work fairly well for me.

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I don’t feel blinded by my mask but I have noticed that my mouth hangs open a lot when I’m wearing it! Probably because I always feel like I can’t breath! But it’s a good thing I’m wearing the mask because I can just imagine what I would look like with my mouth hanging open! I’ve seen that jewelry before and yes, I throw up in my mouth every time I do!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. I finally figured out that I have to inhale if I really want to see something when I’m wearing a mask, because otherwise its all fogged up. Seems like that would have been an obvious reflex but ha, it was not. Also, I grind my teeth like crazy so I have been wearing an appliance to bed for years. After a while, its just part of the routine. (my dentist would be singing the hallelujah chorus hearing me say that because she actually paid for it because I was in such dire need of it and never wore my first one and lo and behold my teeth moved and it wouldn’t fit anymore.) It’s huge and I don’t even have a lisp when I talk now. Its awful at first but you’ll get used to it.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I can’t even imagine the fogging up of glasses while wearing a ball cap and mask. BLIND!
      I’m pretty used to wearing my Invisalign ALL day long, so just at night should be an easy transition. I hope.

      Liked by 1 person

  11. sogalthoughts

    OH NO! I just threw away all my kids’ baby teeth. The little boxes in my dresser drawer. I opened one, screamed, and headed to the garbage can. Oh well.

    I finished my braces and began my retainer journey when I was 12. I wore that thing until I was in my 20’s. But did you know your palette also keeps growing? I had to give it up. But the space in the front of my teeth hasn’t resurfaced. So, maybe not for the rest of your life.

    I don’t wear glasses so I don’t have a problem with masks. Thank the Lord because that would be horrible. Have you wrenched your neck trying to get away from whoever it is coming up beside you?

    I wore a visor/cap thingy on a self-guided tour of the USS Yorktown in the mid 80’s when they were in style. I conked my head at the hairline on one of those door openings and didn’t know I had cut it until my husband and our friends saw blood trickling down my forehead. Yeah. I don’t do well with the cap thingy either. Never wear them now.

    Liked by 2 people

  12. bibliomama2

    I don’t feel like masks interfere with my vision – that sounds really unsettling. I try not to wear my glasses, because I have to breathe really shallowly to not let them fog up, and then I feel like I’m going to pass out. I do still have some of my kids’ baby teeth – it’s gross and disturbing and yet I can’t bring myself to get rid of them. Zero desire to make them into jewelry, though.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Pingback: I Suppose I Could Collect Stamps; But doesn’t that Seem Too Mainstream For Me? – Busy Bee Productions

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