At A Loss.

I have a lot of friends, but my dearest friends I can count on one hand. Actually three fingers. You know, the ones who know all of the ins and outs that make you, you.

One of my dearest friends lost her husband suddenly this week. On Sunday as the Coach and I were driving back from GA she told me that he was in the hospital; said he was ‘supposed’ to be getting better and didn’t want me to worry, but on Sunday evening, it became dire. Prayers were needed.

First thing on Monday morning she told me he passed away early that morning. *sigh*

I ran down to her house immediately; she and her four kids (17yrs-27yrs) were in shock to say the least. I couldn’t help but remember that my father also passed away at 52 when I was 25. I remember the despair.

The Coach and I have been friends with them both for 22 years; they live a few houses down from us. We’ve had vacations together, we’ve watched each others kids grow up. *sigh*

He struggled with mental health issues the past 10 years which really put a wrench into their relationship, but she stood by him. He was a ‘different’ kind of husband/father even before the mental illness became evident, but she took it all with a grain of salt. The things he put her through, I can honestly say, I would not have stayed. Emotional abuse is putting it mildly. She and I had many discussions about scenarios of her life without him, but when it came down to it, she’s hurting. The mountain of financial, business and family complications from his passing is A Lot.

I’m at a loss of how to be of help without being over-bearing; her family is A Lot and her house is Full On Chaos right now.

It’s a bad feeling when you feel helpless. I’ve talked with her grown daughters daily to see what I can do, and also to Stacy, but I’m giving her a bit of space until things calm down a bit and her home is back to just regular chaos.

{Stacy and I at my 40th and she and I at her 50th three years ago. I agree, cameras are just better now.}

I’m not really asking for advice as I don’t think anyone has an answer to assist me so I can assist her. But I wanted to share why I’m a bit MIA and also to document this sadness just as I document the joys.

Hugs your friends. XOXO

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