CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW? Dueling Appliances; Violence Shouldn’t Be The Answer, But It Does Make Me Giggle.

Last Saturday the Coach’s scrimmage games were rained out and he volunteered to do a Costco run for us. I had been putting it off, so I was all, hell yeah.

I sent him my list which included a new Roomba. My old one had been acting up forever and after much maintenance on my part and purchasing new batteries I realized it was a goner. Costco only had two choices; a regular run-of-the-mill Roomba and the newest-deluxe-smart-empties-it’s-own-dust-pan version that costs as much as a kidney. If you know my husband, he’s never going to go for the ‘regular’ version of anything even after I fussed about the price.

I set it up that afternoon without reading any instructions, because who does?

Then I complained that it wasn’t working properly.

Later that day I realized I had to download an app. And read instructions. Suz says to no one in particular: This is a bunch of shit.


On Monday I deemed her ‘useless and a waste of money’ and I’ll be returning her to Costco because she only stayed in the little hall area for an hour. Me thinking: We could host a dinner party right here and eat OFF the floors.

Tuesday I decided to give her another shot because damn we have a lot of floors, dog hair and rug shed.

What I wasn’t expecting? An airplane taking off in the hallway between two guest rooms when she empties itself.

Can you imagine if I set this girl off while I had guests sleeping? Time To Check-Out.

I was standing in the kitchen prepping my newest Boug delviery while she was working her way around the dining area, then she would stop and head through the kitchen to her home base to purge. AIRPLANE NOISE. Then again back to the dining room.

I thought to myself: This is a weird pattern. She could only vacuum for a few minutes before she had to hurry back to her home and dump the contents of her insides. Purge Much?

I will spare you more videos of airplane engines her purging her going back to home base to empty. But it was happening a lot; I looked at the clock. 11:25. 11:29. 11:34. 11:39. Am I timing contractions?

That’s when I remembered my fairly new rugs were wool. Wool Rugs: The gift that keeps on giving. SHEDDERS FOR LIFE.

Finally, the purging started to slow down, the contractions were getting further apart or I was just getting used to it.

Hey, do you remember the vomiting situation we had earlier this week? (Callie is much better, thank you!)

Well Callie did her darnedest to ruin the new Shedders For Life Rugs, but I was able to get them clean. I had left my Shark Vacuum out thinking I was going to take another stab at drying the cleaned but-a-bit-wet area later so it was in plain sight while the robot was doing her thing: I didn’t mean to show them both that they had competition, it just happened.

Does this look like a DUEL to you? My new girl bumped into the old girl several times.

That right there tickled my funny bones. All of them.

Just for the sheer entertainment, I’m going to keep her for a while longer and see if she shapes up.

(Don’t tell her I kept her original box if she starts acting up)

Anyone else have any ‘around the house helpers’ they’re on the fence about?


22 thoughts on “CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW? Dueling Appliances; Violence Shouldn’t Be The Answer, But It Does Make Me Giggle.

  1. This is so funny. She seems insulted by the Shark’s presence. As she should be. Look at her, all cute and streamlined and self-dumping. Move over big and bulky, loud and efficient is here.

    My Coach is the opposite, “HERE YA GO, THIS WAS THE CHEAPEST ONE THEY HAD.”

    We got a little thing that washes, yes WASHES, the kitchen floor. I bought it for myself at Christmas. It came with directions, so I assigned Ed to figure it out and teach me. I was too busy. For some reason, I didn’t pay attention when he taught me. I told him the next time I was ready to use it to teach Coach. Coach then cleaned the floor the next several times. How is that for delegating? I must be brilliant. ‘Cept the last few times I washed the floor on my hands and knees again, because he hasn’t messed with that thing in months. *Sigh*

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Um…SAND. Can you imagine how much SAND you’ve tracked into the house? That lil Roomba is purging sand like crazy, I’m sure.

    BTW–both my cats panicked when I played the purge video. They were sure that the vacuum had somehow come to life on its own.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Believe it or not, we’ve done really well with going in and out of ONE particular door that has an old rug at it with a pair of designated flip flops to wear out, then take off again on the rug. But some sand has probably found its way in through the cracks, as sand does.

      My apologies to your kitties. MEOW.


  3. Bijoux

    Good grief on that airplane takeoff noise! I think it was before we met here, but when I got my new dryer, I posted a video of how it alerted me when the clothes are dry. Same exact sound as a basketball game buzzer. You can hear it outdoors. It startles me every damn time.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. OMG on the loud dryer. Mine plays a nice little melody, but I can also turn it off which is good since I already have enough appliances singing (screaming) to me.


  4. OMG, I am laughing so hard. It DOES sound like an airplane!
    There was a burning smell in our house as I was watching this. It turned out someone was grilling…at 9 in the morning. But the first thing that came to me was that your blog has smellovision, and that it was your roomba.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. HAHA. IF my Roomba smells like a grill, I would think Coach made some sort of deal with the devil on my Roomba.
      Luckily it’s only loud when it empties itself and of course, that only happens every 3 minutes.

      Liked by 1 person

  5. I would love to try the fancy model. I never was interested in Roomba. I believed if you didn’t suffer over a vacuum, your floors weren’t clean. Just being old and stubborn. I’m dying to try one now. I’ll be looking for a contest to enter.

    Liked by 2 people

  6. My Roomba is the plain Jane version. I finally put it to work (she’s been on a sabbatical since COVID began) the other day. It can be distracting while trying to work and was absolutely appalled when I went to empty the bin to use it again today. Apparently, my old fashioned vacuum and sweeping skills are under par.

    What would be really nice is if they could figure out a way to put a “stealth” mode on them. I actually had to chase the damn thing down today to turn it off to answer a call from my boss.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. nicoleboyhouse

    Hahahaha omg Suz. I have a Roomba (two actually) and I love them but I opted not to get the ones that empty themselves and I am so glad. Holy, that’s loud. I mean, my Roombas aren’t exactly silent but still. One of them is working right now as we speak. How amazing is it that I can write this and have my floors cleaned? What an age we live in.

    I think my other one is on its last legs, so I’m noting NOT to get the self-emptying one.

    Liked by 1 person

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