I’ve once again fallen down the rabbit hole that is Ancestry.Com. I can place the blame on an almost complete stranger even though we share DNA.
I was recently contacted by a long lost family member; I think we’re 3rd cousins 29 times removed. Or something like that. Anyhoo, He and I were messaging and emailing back and forth; and this caused me to do some updating of my family tree since I was given more information. I was also able to give him a lot of photos that I inherited from my Paternal Grandma. Which then led me to reminisce about my Grandma. *sigh*
She was my favorite and she was the bright spot of my somewhat weird and dysfunctional childhood. Grandma had several brothers, two sons herself, three grandsons and me, I was the only girl she nurtured. I always felt loved by her and can only recall one time that she raised her voice at me. (I was about 7 and merely trying to walk across the pool in my church clothes because I thought if Jesus could walk on water, why not me?)
I posted the following shortly after she left us, but didn’t allow for comments because I was in a raw place at the moment.
It was a bright and sunny day outside, but inside this cold and dreary place you could only catch a glimpse of the sun through the stained and dirty window.
Grandma was in and out of sleep. We sat or stood around her bed, having mindless conversations.
I wondered if she was hearing our words, or if she was off somewhere better.
I hoped she was revisiting some of her better days; the joyful times when she and Grandpa traveled, piddling at her favorite stores, playing cards with the neighbors, bowling, laughing.
I was now standing next to her, she opened her blue eyes and said to me, clear as a bell: “Suzanne, you know, you are the light of my life.”
I smiled, a few tears spilling from my eyes.
I knew this already, but it was so touching to hear the words. Grandma never minced her words, good or bad.
I looked around the room; My Uncle was staring at the muted TV and even with his hearing aid he missed this comment. The Coach was sitting nearby, but I’m not sure he heard her either.
Gosh, I adore that woman, she knew to say this after my cousin Will left the room.
For someone who rarely filtered her words from her thoughts, this was the first and possibly last time, that she thought before she spoke.
I’m so thankful that I had her in my life for so long, but I still miss her dearly.
Some of the old posts that I shared about her might make one think that she didn’t love me as much as I thought she did; I mean, she fed me cigarettes for breakfast and almost let me drown trying to teach me to NOT swim underwater. Maybe I could walk on water after all…