Time Alone And Planning For The Future By Compiling A List For My Possible Replacement.

The Coach had away games all weekend so I was solo. Lone. Single. Wait, I’m never really alone, am I? Lillie and Callie were here and Lillie follows my every move while I’m gardening, watching mindless TV, reading, performing laundry miracles and puzzling.

Callie has been going through some more health issues over the past few months and I honestly thought she would be gone by now; she’s very wobbly and was falling down a lot, but seems to have either recovered or just gotten used to it. The dog has 47 lives.

Her newest hobby aside from falling down is barking at nothing though the front or back glass doors. This of course alerts Lillie to also bark at nothing. My response at least 4x a day: Lillie, Senile Sally doesn’t know what she’s barking at, so why are you getting involved?

Leaving And Hating Chicken Wings

The Coach is SO busy with work. I mean, if people would stop wanting new kitchens, baths, and countertops for a little while I wouldn’t complain. I have several closets that have NO doors on them since August because the shop is just too busy for little old me. He’s also planning two large charity events over the next year for Veterans. And he’s added assisting the college with his hitting expertise to his already busy schedule. The daily practices. The traveling. The work. Oh my.

Just before he departed on Friday I said to him: Please, for the love of everything, don’t drive distracted. I know you have a lot going on, but if for some reason you don’t come home to me on Sunday, I will forever hate Softball.

Coach: that’s not nice or fair; what if you were driving to pick up chicken wings and you died, should I forever hate chicken wings?

Me: Yes. Clearly yes, that’s how it works.

Actually I was thinking: why would I ever drive somewhere to pick up greasy fried chicken wings. He must want me to die from high cholesterol.

I really don’t mind him going away for the weekends; he loves helping the kids and of course, they love him. We’re pretty independent people so neither of us mind time alone or apart. I think I spent so much of my childhood alone, I can easily entertain myself.

There’s probably some people who would give their left middle finger to have a weekend away from their spouse though. If something ever does happen to him, I think I’ll shop for a new husband at the Reservists office; they are gone one weekend a month. right?


I’ve thought of my mortality quite a bit the last few years. I mean, none of us are getting out of this alive. If for some reason I die before the Coach, I want him to find the best replacement for me. I know it will be a damn struggle, because I’ve set the bar so high.

*laughs uncontrollably*

You know when you’ve been with someone for 37 years, you evolve. You change. You have habits. You have habits that people who love you for 37 years don’t seem to mind. But I do wonder if some of those things that don’t bother me, might send a newbie running for the hills.

So, every once in a while I’ll chirp up and say in my nicest voice to the Coach:

I’m not saying this to be mean, but if I die and you start dating someone MAKE SURE DON’T DO THIS: *insert constructive criticism* because it might scare off a person who hasn’t learned all the wonderful parts of you.

So a list is being compiled. He said he will bring the list to his very first date so he doesn’t forget anything.

I’ve been trying hard for many years to keep this under wraps, but now it’s out there for everyone:

I’m the best wife ever.

Where’s my award?

My possible future replacement should send me a handwritten note in calligraphy on handmade paper and delivered by a white dove. ASAP.

So, spill the beans.

Do you dread time alone? Are you attached at the hip to your partner?


40 thoughts on “Time Alone And Planning For The Future By Compiling A List For My Possible Replacement.

  1. Rick and I have an ironclad Deal: I have to die first. There is no way I can manage every single thing by myself if he goes first. I don’t even know all the online bill-paying passwords. And I’m not going to start mowing the lawns, ever. I do bathrooms; he does lawns. That is the Agreement.

    I love my Alone Time, and sometimes I actually resent when he has days off unexpectedly because he effs up my routine. He says stuff like, “What’s on your agenda today?” or “Anything you want to do today?” and it drives me batty.

    My future replacement is on her own. She can learn to love his quirks or put up with them the same as I did. (Although, in all fairness, they’ve only gotten worse and more numerous.) 😉

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Ironclad deal. Oh my. So funny!!
      Well, if I do go first the Coach won’t know all the passwords or bill-paying stuff.
      I’d better start making notes for him now.

      I understand Alone Time; I think it’s essential for all of us to be happy with ourselves alone.


  2. I LOVE time alone and always have! Maybe it’s from growing up with three always in your face brothers! Or it could be that I am a true introvert! One time I even went to an outlet mall about an hour away and spent the night in a hotel all by myself! I loved it! That being said I wouldn’t want to be by myself all the time!

    Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m an only child, I need time alone. Which has been challenging the past 2 months since the husband retired. He’s constantly underfoot and I haven’t adjusted yet. As for chicken wings, if you die during pick up? They must immediately be struck from his diet. This is non negotiable.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’ve been married twice, and the time since I have been widowed has been the best time of my entire life. I guess I really need that alone time because there is not a man on this earth that will make me share my time or space with one, again. 🤣


      Liked by 1 person

  4. Bijoux

    I’m alone for most of the day, so I don’t really want to be home alone at nights or on the weekends. But, I can see where retirement might lead to some ‘I want to be alone’ feelings. I’m seriously thinking about getting a tiny part-time job now to continue in the future.

    We’ve been together the same number of years as you guys! It will be 38 years in a few months time since we started dating.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. I have weekly alone time since Mike travels for work, but I still have Ellie at home with me, so I’m not really alone. I’m sure I’d feel differently if I were completely alone. Also, being alone on the weekend feels significantly worse than being alone throughout the week. It’s just…different.

    Now I’m wanting chicken wings.

    Liked by 1 person

  6. Well this is timely. Coach went out of town over the weekend to teach a class over 5 hours away. He drove in a rented car, since none of our cars could make the trip. High school b-ball just ended, so it was an unusually quiet weekend. Not gonna lie, I didn’t mind it. At all. I went to bed early one night and read in bed for a long time. *That was partly because Reg and Curly invited friends over at the same time. One group got the basement and one group was stuck with the family room and I agreed to disappear early. Mini was at a hotel for a high school conference thing.

    I have no doubt that you ARE the best wife ever. I’m noticing more little throat clearing and squinting things cropping up in Coach and I’m ’bout ready to ask him to work on a few things. I have no flaws, of course.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I love that you were kinda ‘sent to bed’ early…good for you. I know you don’t get enough ‘me time’ as it’s usually busy at your house.

      Start a list for him, we can’t have too much throat clearing or squinting.


  7. “There’s probably some people who would give their left middle finger to have a weekend away from their spouse though.” You were thinking of me when you typed this, weren’t you?

    The Husband…I love him dearly but OH MY GOD! Since he’s retired he is ALWAYS here! Oh sure, he will head out a couple of times a day for an hour or so. I need him to get bored enough to get a job/volunteer. One that has him out of the house for several hours a day.

    Liked by 1 person

  8. Like you, I spent much of my childhood alone and have no problem enjoying my own company. That being said, husband and I have a symbiotic relationship and I suspect whoever gets left behind will struggle with the roles the other was filling. I’m chuckling about your warnings to your husband on his future dating behavior should you go first. We have adapted so well to each other’s quirks it’s hard to imagine anyone else doing so in our places. (46 years now)

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I think that we are all so good at adapting to each other’s quirks. It’s hard to imagine bringing in a new person to those quircks. Right?
      46 years. That is quite a feat; you’re both doing something right!

      Liked by 1 person

  9. I am kinda attached at the hip with my husband 🙂 I think it’s because we rarely get time alone. But I also like to tell him, when I’m doing something annoying, that he will miss this with his next wife!

    Liked by 1 person

  10. nicoleboyhouse

    Oh my god, Suz, this was an absolute JOY to read. You are awesome. Also, yes, he should hate chicken wings forever should you die while picking them up. That’s how it works, we don’t make the rules. I don’t have a problem entertaining myself, but it sure sounds like Coach is BUSY BUSY and that you’ll be entertaining yourself a lot lately. That seems like a lot, honestly.

    I’ve never thought of my replacement. Maybe R should just have me stuffed and seated on a couch, with a book in my hand, so he won’t miss me.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. You are so funny Suz, always cracking me up! When I look back at my old blogs, I was funny too. I lost my funny and don’t know how to find it again, but I do want it back – just for the record. Well that’s not the topic here is it? Let me just say a big NO to that dreading alone time. In our younger years there were several times my hubs worked out of town and only came home on the weekends. I always thought that was an ideal situation. These days I’d be overjoyed if he would at least get the hell out of here on the weekends lol!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I go through phases where I feel I’ve lost my funny mojo too. I find that writing with no real agenda in mind works for me.
      Laughing at you “wanting him to get the hell out on the weekend!” Maybe you need to plan a getaway for him and a buddy?


  12. I do like to get some alone time too myself occasionally, too as does he. However neither of us are ready for the forever alone time until we meet again after life on Earth. We both know I could cope better later in life if he goes first. That is the way we are planning it. LOL.
    I have told him that in the unlikely event I go first, he needs to remember he is not just marrying a woman but will get her entire family. He needs to make sure he can handle that or he will have stress like he can’t imagine. Also, I have told him about a couple of my friends whom I dearly love but the negatives to them if they are even being considered. I wonder if our husbands ever think the things we do.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Melanie Galliano

    Oh I definitely need my ME time!! Even back when I was a teen, I would think the perfect boyfriend would be one that only came around when I wanted him to. I envisioned a call every 3-4 days, a date here and there. The rest of the time I could do what I wanted without him. LOL!!

    Liked by 1 person

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