*I originally shared this post many moons ago, (2010) but I felt that since I just shared my dilemma regarding Anatoli Anole this week, you should know that I don’t loathe all lizards* (thanks Nance for naming the Azzhole)
As a kid, you could find me playing outside all the time; if I weren’t creating shenanigans with the neighborhood kids, I was creating my own adventures.
I spent hours and hours in our yard unattended or roaming the neighborhood, also unattended.
I loved catching bugs and
stray cats, bunnies critters, but catching lizards, well catching lizards was my jam.
I was proficient at capturing without harming and I loved them so much. I was the self proclaimed lizard whisperer.
When I was about seven I found this beautiful bright green lizard. He was a gorgeous specimen!
He was so docile as he crawled up and down my arms and he loved sitting on my shoulder, like a Parrot lizard.
He was my constant companion for A Full Day.
*CUE THE SUZ AND LIZARD FUN MONTAGE*
I had visions of our life together: playing games, reading books, traveling the world.
I found a jar and made him a home and we had our first sleepover; it was epic.
The next day, I thought it would be a great idea to take him to school with me because surely, he would get lonely at home all alone. (Was I wearing homemade pantyhose? Probably.)
Being the girly tomboy that I was, I put him in my purse and headed for school.
I only shared my new lizard with a few friends that day as I did not want to risk getting into trouble. I’d already hit my quota for classroom spankings.
Sadly, later that evening, I realized that my lizard had perished. I was beyond crushed because all our hopes and dreams for the future were just as dead as he was.
Maybe it was the the long commute on the school bus that did him in? Maybe living in my purse wasn’t the right environment? Perhaps a diet of grass wasn’t enough?
Devastated, I buried him in the yard and performed The Eulogy that he clearly deserved.
A few days later I went to pay homage to my now deceased friend and WHAT IIN THE ACTUAL HELL?
The burial site was wide open and my lizard had risen from the dead!
It was a miracle of epic proportions! He lives! He lives! He lives!
I was elated and for days I looked all over for him, but sadly we were never reunited.
I never forgot our time together though, he was my favorite lizard and could never be replaced.
In hindsight, maybe he was not so much ‘Jesus like’ as much as my cats were excellent excavators.
Your friend Suz, the critter hoarding hawt mess in the making.