We’re Talking Lizards Again; This Time That Divine One From My Past. AKA: My Jesus Lizard

*I originally shared this post many moons ago, (2010) but I felt that since I just shared my dilemma regarding Anatoli Anole this week, you should know that I don’t loathe all lizards* (thanks Nance for naming the Azzhole)

As a kid, you could find me playing outside all the time; if I weren’t creating shenanigans with the neighborhood kids, I was creating my own adventures. 

I spent hours and hours in our yard unattended or roaming the neighborhood, also unattended.

I loved catching bugs and stray cats, bunnies critters, but catching lizards, well catching lizards was my jam. 

I was proficient at capturing without harming and I loved them so much. I was the self proclaimed lizard whisperer.  

When I was about seven I found this beautiful bright green lizard. He was a gorgeous specimen! 

I believe it was love at first sight for both of us.

He was so docile as he crawled up and down my arms and he loved sitting on my shoulder, like a Parrot lizard. 

He was my constant companion for A Full Day. 

*CUE THE SUZ AND LIZARD FUN MONTAGE*

I had visions of our life together: playing games, reading books, traveling the world.

I found a jar and made him a home and we had our first sleepover; it was epic. 

The next day, I thought it would be a great idea to take him to school with me because surely, he would get lonely at home all alone. (Was I wearing homemade pantyhose? Probably.)

Being the girly tomboy that I was, I put him in my purse and headed for school.

I only shared my new lizard with a few friends that day as I did not want to risk getting into trouble. I’d already hit my quota for classroom spankings. 

Sadly, later that evening, I realized that my lizard had perished. I was beyond crushed because all our hopes and dreams for the future were just as dead as he was.

Maybe it was the the long commute on the school bus that did him in? Maybe living in my purse wasn’t the right environment? Perhaps a diet of grass wasn’t enough? 

Devastated, I buried him in the yard and performed The Eulogy that he clearly deserved.

A few days later I went to pay homage to my now deceased friend and WHAT IIN THE ACTUAL HELL? 

He.Was.Gone.

The burial site was wide open and my lizard had risen from the dead! 

Like Jesus.  

It was a miracle of epic proportions! He lives! He lives! He lives! 

I was elated and for days I looked all over for him, but sadly we were never reunited.

I never forgot our time together though, he was my favorite lizard and could never be replaced. 

 In hindsight, maybe he was not so much ‘Jesus like’ as much as my cats were excellent excavators.

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XOXO

Your friend Suz, the critter hoarding hawt mess in the making.

32 thoughts on “We’re Talking Lizards Again; This Time That Divine One From My Past. AKA: My Jesus Lizard”

  1. While lizard resurrection is a wonderful story, I find myself more impressed that you were carrying a purse to school at 7. A grammar school trend setter right there….
    😉

    Liked by 2 people

  3. Oh, Suz. Didn’t you put him in a little shoebox? Or were your cats just that clever/persistent?

    Regardless, kudos to you for being a Lizard Girl. I am phobic about any reptiles–to me, those lizards are just snakes with legs. Ugh.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. 🤣 Loved this story! You and I could have been siblings, sounds like. I was always bringing home critters too. Dragonflies, tadpoles, caterpillars…my mom tolerated them all until I showed up with a 2 foot long garter snake. THAT was not allowed in the house, go figure. I never took any of them to school in a purse or otherwise, though. Once in Grade 2 my cat showed up at my mile-away school during a thunderstorm, meowing at the classroom window for me to let her in. That was so WEIRD.

    Deb

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I also loved catching/playing with tadpoles! Now? Not.so.much. Just caterpillars. 😳

      Laughing so hard at your cat finding you at school! You two must have had a good connection.

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Grasshoppers? You must have been fast to catch them.
      I always got in trouble at school for LAUGHING. Ironically, I got spankings for being happy, but that’s my story.

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  7. Oh what a funny story! It reminds me of the time my goldfish died, so I wrapped it up in tissue paper and put it in a tiny beaded change purse. lol! I still have the change purse but not the fish thank goodness!

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  10. Ha ha ha!! Funny! Poor lizard, poor little Suz! And how could any teacher spank such a cutie-pie with a purse?!

    I hope you’re not saying that you’re going to catch Anatole Anoli for a mulligan? Remember that although he shares the same bright green color of the lizard in your childhood, this one’s an Azzhole.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I know; I was wondering how I always got spankings too. I was an angel! 😳
      Though, I generally only got into trouble for laughing or talking. Go figure.

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  12. Oh, I loved this, and I laughed out loud – literally, spit out my coffee – at “just like Jesus!” Lololol omg Suz, you crack me up.

    Liked by 1 person

  13. Great story and I love the twist at the end! I spent nine years of my youth in Hawaii, and lizards were a constant. I didn’t even need to find jars for them; geckos would just randomly roam my bedroom.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. It’s a good thing Lizards do not weird you out.
      We get them in the house all the time. They don’t bother me at all, but I’m no longer naming them. (well, aside from the baby bird eating one outside)

      Liked by 1 person

  14. Omg, that photo of you is so freaking adorable! The purse is the icing on the cake. What a great childhood memory. I like to think your lizard was just napping. He is risen, indeed!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. My Mom and Grandma used to get up in arms about me bringing critters inside the house. I don’t get it. 😳😜

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