Dig if you will, the picture: For some weird reason I woke up earlier than normal the other day, and as I was slipping on my shoes and heading to brush my teeth I had this weird feeling come over me that involved the desire to smoke a large amount of meat.
Hmm. That’s not a normal Suzanne thought.
Next, I as I was brushing my teeth, I was thinking that when I’m done smoking all the meats, I’ll see if I have time to Coach Some Girls’ Softball.
GOOD LORD SUZANNE, SNAP OUT OF IT.
That’s when I remembered that I’d run out of my multivitamins a while ago and I’ve been ingesting my husbands vitamins.
THAT’S NOT HOW IT WORKS. THAT’S NOT HOW ANY OF THIS WORKS.
A Shit Show was about to commence because I was casually scratching my crotch, giggling at a Dad joke I’d heard the day prior and thinking of heading to the Gun Range next.
Instead I bee-lined it to the Vitamin Store so I could stop the insanity.
This is a mostly true story. I did ingest MAN vitamins for quite a few days.
I’M NO SPRING CHICKEN!
A bit of a shopping shocker for me was that they don’t sell 54 year old vitamins; I had to purchase the Woman’s 55+ as I’ll be hitting that milestone in a few weeks. Can you picture me walking into the Vitamin store and asking for 54 year old vitamins? They couldn’t sell those legally. Right?
Anyhoo, all is right again in my vitamin world and you’ll be pleased to know I don’t have the desire to scratch my nether regions any longer.
*My friend was showing me his tool shed and pointed to a ladder. “That’s my stepladder,” he said. “I never knew my real ladder.”
*Did you know your pupils are the last part to stop working when you die? They dilate.
Raise your hand if you don’t take vitamins on the regular and how you are still alive!? 😉