A few months ago I thought I would have time to write a cute post in honor of Coach’s 57th birthday on 10/14, but then realized we would be out and about most of October, and then life just kept happening, and here I am playing catch up.

In honor of my husbands (belated) birthday, I thought I’d share with you some of his favorite phrases. I’ll spare you the Dad jokes; he’s got some doozies, but I don’t want to overwhelm you with all of this pertinent information in one day.

We enjoy a fun T-shirt around here.
  • Sorry about your luck. This comes up quite a bit for anyone and anything that goes wrong. You dropped your sandwich in the dirt? Sorry about your luck. You were late for an important date? Sorry about your luck. You didn’t win the lottery? Sorry about your luck. I’m not saying he isn’t empathetic, but you know, sorry about your luck.
  • I don’t believe I will. Hey Coach, do you want to have a glass of wine? I don’t believe I will. Do you want to share this salad with me? I don’t believe I will. In his mind simply stating NO isn’t an option.
  • Sucks to be you. This comes up when something bad has happened and it can work interchangeably with Sorry About Your Luck. Again, he only uses it for not really important things. If your dog died, he’d shed tears with you.
  • How do you eat an elephant? One bite at a time. This phrase comes up whenever he’s talking to someone about a big project, someone stressing about something, someone overwhelmed, etc… Not sure why we have to eat an elephant, but the phrase does make sense because with any big issue, you tackle it with one bite at a time.
  • I’d rather bite the nuts off of Godzilla than to tell my wife no. I don’t know where this came from but I’ve heard him say it to people and I really don’t get it. He HAS said NO to me. Once.
  • PPP {Piss Poor Planning} Oh, you knew you had lots of time to get that project completed, but waited till the last minute? Piss Poor Planning. While driving on the highway witnesesing another driver: Oh, you waited too long to merge? Piss Poor Planning! I find myself saying PPP under my breath quite a bit…

Some friends of ours have a screen printing business and they enjoy it when the Coach does his big charity pork smokes, so they custom made some T-shirts for him:

I giggle each time I see him wearing that one up there; he literally WILL cook for all you effers.

Does your husband, father, brother, uncle’s second cousin have any funny phrases that you have grown to love?


25 thoughts on “COACHISM’S

  1. Happy belated birthday to the Coach! I love his “coachisms” and his t-shirt fashion sense. I have said a few of his sayings myself. And I especially love that he knows better than to say “no” to his wife. That’s a very desirable attribute in a man 😉. If I were ever to consider being with someone again, that would be at the top of the check list.


    Liked by 1 person

  2. bibliomama2

    Happy birthday to Coach! My sister and I have employed “sucks to be you” for years, and my kids now use it too. I do like the elephant thing – both the kids and I have a tendency to panic when there’s a giant task or a lot of smaller ones in front of us, and my husband is good at getting us to look at one thing at a time. He also has an “I’ll feed all you fuckers” oven mitt.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. My dad says the elephant one. My dad ALWAYS said YOU MAKE A BETTER DOOR THAN A WINDOW when we were kids. This was when the TVs sat on the floor and we didn’t have enough furniture for the number of kids in the family, so whose fault was it that we had to sit on the floor in front of the TV?

    My Coach says DOWN GOES FRAZIER a lot. I guess it was said in an important fight once, so when one of the kids would fall or a kid on a soccer field would fall . . . you’re gonna hear this from him. He also says COMPARE YOURSELF WITH THE WORST, so if one of the kids says they did such and such but it wasn’t as bas as what such and such did.

    The kids say I say LET’S GO a lot. Like a lot. I give orders like LOAD THE DISHWASHER and then I follow it up with LET’S GO. Is it wrong to want shit done? I don’t even know that I say it.

    I’m dying at the ‘he said no to me once’ line. Bah. I love the Godzilla line – how great.

    After my post today, I think I should own an I’LL COOK FOR ALL YOU FUCKERS shirt. I think I’ve earned it. (that’s Jack Nickelson in A Few Good Men). I wonder if Notre Dame would frown on my wearing a shirt with an F word at a tailgate on campus. Only one way to find out, is what I say.

    Happy birthday to Coach.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. My Dad used to say I was a better door than a window as well.
      Dads. *sigh*

      I’m giggling at the Down Goes Frazier term! Does anyone else ever get it? Or just him?

      Let’s go! Funny that you say it so much that you probably don’t even realize it. 🙂


  4. Bijoux

    Those are highly original! I’ve not even heard of most, but I do love to say Piss Poor Planning because it fits so often. My Dad had a ton of them, but my favorite is when he was in traffic and would say, “You’ll be first, right after me!” I think about that one all the time and chuckle.

    Hope Coach’s birthday was lots of fun.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. M

    Happy (belated) birthday to your husband! He sounds like a fun and cool guy! And smart, too, preferring to deal with a gorilla’s wrath over saying no to you! LOL I have heard a few of those, specifically the elephant and the “sucks to be you” but not the gorilla nuts one!!!

    Liked by 1 person

  6. nicoleboyhouse

    I love his sayings AND his t-shirts. That’s amazing. Happy belated to Coach! I love dad jokes and I tell them in my classes all the time, so I would be more than happy to hear his!

    Liked by 1 person

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