Bingo, We Have The Answers!

If you ever wonder if I’m losing my marbles, you’re probably correct.

A few months ago my hairstylist Liz was over doing my hair and she asked an innocent question while looking at Max:

What is HE?

Me: We think he might be a rat terrier/chihuahua mix; he loves to chase small prey, bark at anyone and everyone, dislikes his own kind and he’s very much a weirdo because a lot of times he won’t go outside before bed, I have to carry his 25lb ass far out to the middle of the yard, drop him in the grass, remind him that he’s a dog and beg for him to pee. (if he doesn’t pee, he will wake me up in the middle of the night from his crate to do so)

When Lolo first adopted him over 5 years ago, we thought he might be some sort of exotic dog, mixed with the regular flavor. But we soon figured out, nope. Just the regular mill kind, but we still wondered what exact variety.

Liz suggested I do a DNA test on him; it won’t tell us WHY he’s weird, but it would tell us WHAT he is. My jaw dropped: You can do those for dogs? I mean, will I find out if he’s really an African Prince?

Upon research they sell these tests on Amazon for a hundred bucks. It seemed a bit steep, but I then remembered I didn’t pay for anything to be waxed this past year: I HAD EXTRA MONEY.

EDITED to add: When I was looking it up on amazon to link it here, it dawned on me: the name of the company is Embark. EmBARK *slaps hand on forehead*

Max was questioning OUR sanity as we took his saliva sample. In about a month we had our results. In that amount of time, there was much query from my people on our family thread asking DID YOU GET MAX’S RESULTS YET? To an outsider, it looks like we had nothing else going on.

He’s more Super mutt than anything, which is kind of funny. A Super mutt is a mutt mixture. When I told him this, he immediately liked the Super part and agreed that he is indeed Super. Humble much?

Do you remember my Family Tree in my baby book. Well, I’m quite jealous that Max’s is filled out 100% more than mine.

As if finding out that he’s this or that wasn’t enough fun, a month later I got an email stating that the company had found some of his possible relatives; Jewel being the closest to his DNA.

Turns out Jewel is probably a distant cousin that we normally wouldn’t hear from unless Max had just won the lottery, (which he did) but thanks to science & technology, There She Is, waiting for a playdate with a dog who doesn’t like playing or dogs.

I blogged about when I did my DNA and tree; people were coming out of the woodwork connecting with me. It was awesome, but also a little overwhelming. When I asked Max about meeting Jewel, he was happy about it until I told him that Jewel is IN fact a dog. That was a hard NO from him.

Anyhoo, we still love our little weirdo even if we’re semi-excited about his Dad Nathan coming home from Marine boot camp next month; that means Max will be going home to his real parents.

So, would you make the investment to see your pets DNA?

Things That Make Me Smile: Real Doors, Visits & My Misfits

I’m having a hard time putting a decent post together lately, so here’s what has made me smile lately in 369 words.

The New doors/window at the GA house. These are the new fangled type of door that come equipped with Hinges and get this: they swing open and then if you’re feeling crazy, they also swing closed.

Here they are in all their glory. We decided to do a single fixed pane in the center and doors on either side. This was before my painters came in to work their magic so, it’s raw wood here.

Coach is modeling with the before: FAKE doors. It’s hard to get a good pic with no glare, but you have a fabulous view as soon as you walk into the front door through the screened-in porch area and now even more so with less wood/door area. The single pane goes almost to the floor behind the sofa.

Did you notice Callie up there curled up in Lillie’s little bed. I’ll never NOT think that is adorable.

Serendipity. As I was writing this post this morning, my painters let me know they finished the painting yesterday.

Last weekend both of our girls came for a visit and it was so wonderful. I wasn’t referring to them as the Misfits; the pups are my misfits. They swam in the pool, Coach grilled a big lunch, we visited and laughed. Mattis the Husky loves to swim and this enticed Lillie so much that the little turd jumped in the pool and Good Lord, SHE CAN SWIM. I had no idea! We can fully assume that she was peeing while swimming since she does it all.the.time.

Speaking of my little tinkle-er. This photo from our last trip to GA makes me smile. Max is not a fan of other dogs and I think that makes Lillie want to love him even more and even lay ON him. I can almost read his mind and it’s full of four letter words.

What do you mean your dog doesn’t wear a diaper? It’s ALL the rage with rescues who were never potty trained.

So, what is making you smile lately? Humans? Dogs? Fully functioning home parts?


My Stint As A Mermaid Princess Dolphin.

A few weeks ago Coach’s Mom and Step-Dad came to our neck of the woods and spent a week at our little rental condo; they were ready for a change in scenery and they brought our Great Niece Kinsley with them for the visit.

The Coach and I had dinner with them one evening and then another afternoon I went over to swim with Kinsley and give my In-laws a much needed break. Not sure if ya’ll know this, but 3 1/2 year olds are busy people.

Have I told you today about my obsession with porpoises? Well, it’s still early, but I am OBSESSED. I can see 18 in one day and I’ll squeal with delight each and every time. So, it’s no surprise that when I saw one from the window just before dinner, I stopped what I was doing/saying and ran out to visit with my new best friend.

Can you sense my disappointment when it disappeared into thin air? I’ve named him Dolphin Copperfield. I would like to have a gold ribbon because it took all the freaking self-control in the world to NOT jump in and frolic with him.

Back to the human part of our visit…

Me: Kins, do you want to swim in the pool with Aunt Suzanne?

Kins: YES!

Please picture a huge, empty pool with just the two of us, a lone noodle and an occasional pelican.

I was not fully prepared for the amount of imagination that I needed to pack with me for this visit.

We were mermaids.

We were dolphins.

We were mermaid princess dolphins.

We fell asleep while floating.

We sang songs about falling asleep while floating.

We wondered if the pelicans ever pooped in the pool.

We decided to not put water in our mouths, just in case.

We were princesses who could point our fingers and turn things into ICE.

We were princesses who could point our fingers and turn things into HOT LAVA.

I paused for a moment wishing I really had those powers. Suz, Let It Go, Let It Go.

Do you think Kins would be happy with 30 minutes of frolicking around with her Great Aunt Suz?

Hell to the NO.

An hour and a half later, I said your Aunt Suzanne needs to get out of the pool because her fingers and toes are turning into raisins. This of course, brought on eleventy questions about how is that even capable of happening?!

It’s all butterflies and rainbows until The {elder} Mermaid Princess Dolphin was done with the pool and the {mini} Mermaid Princess Dolphin was NEVER going to be done with the pool.

Needless to say, there was some complaining, moaning, big exhales and pouting involved; It dawned on me that someone really needed a nap.

And when Kinsley ALSO started to whine, I knew our imaginative swim session was really over.