As blogged by Suz

When the people of target annoy you and we have a bizarre Lost & Found department.

I had a Who Moved My Cheese moment last week at Target. I knew in my head that I hadn’t been there in a while, but I didn’t realize how long until I looked at my Target App. (there’s an app for that because there’s an app for everything) It had been over 7 weeks. SEVEN. Before the United States Dumpster Fire started, I was a once-a-week Target girl. I kept asking (anyone who would listen) “Do you think Target is gonna go out of business since I’m not going as much?”

I was actually pretty excited about my shopping trip, but sadly my excitment quickly turned to slight panic and not at the Disco. I was lost as hell because during my shopping absence the Target People remodeled/rearranged the ENTIRE store. Without my permission; what is this world coming to?

Are you old enough to remember the book Who Moved My Cheese?

She found what, where?

I have a text thread with my girls; My DNA Squad. Don’t tell their Dad, he’ll be seriously jealous.

To answer her question, yes, she used to pack heat. And also sew. And also was possibly the most unorganized person ever; hence ammo in her sewing basket. I’ll have to check her revolver for some thread. Lolo confirmed that the sewing basket still smelled like Grandma’s apartment.

I miss that unorganized lady like crazy.

I found what, where?

Last weekend my Great Niece was here visiting for the day. We broke out the girls Barbie house and accessories. Lots and lots of accessories.

I sent a text to the girls letting them know we were dusting off the Barbies.

One accessory didn’t belong in the Barbie box at all.

I removed the play scissors from Barbies’ poor ear before Kinsley was traumatized.

Can you imagine what I found in that little box within the Barbie box?

Don’t ya love a cliffhanger? I’ve got to figure out a way for you to return to this nonsense.


As blogged by Suz

Stags, non-violent cows and an iffy gator

We left Friday afternoon and headed to my In-laws home on Lake Okeechobee; it was my MIL’s birthday. Have I mentioned lately how much I love both my Mother in law and Father in law (Coach’s stepdad)? They’re pretty darn wonderful. We had a plan to visit together with them and also go see one of her friends who was selling some of their staghorn fens. We already have two big ferns in our yard, (one was salvaged from my Dad’s house after he passed away) but if you know anything about my husband, you’ll know that if he likes something, he’d really like to have more of that something. Except for wives; one of those is plenty.

Just as we were about to leave, he threw a wrench into the vision of my upcoming 2 1/2 hour drive that would be me catching up on some emails, blogs and the FB.

“Hey, can you drive?”

EYE ROLL AND MOAN “WHAT? The big truck? Pulling the trailer? Really?”

“Ok, but if I do, you can’t say ONE WORD about my driving or the fact that I might not be able to pass any slow cars on those little country roads.”

I honestly thought I might hit the mailbox just leaving the driveway, but I made it all the way there without hitting anything and without a domestic incident. I even passed EIGHT slow cars on a two lane road. *looks around for achievement award*

We arrived safely at my In-laws house, then the four of us headed to the ladies house who had all the staghorn ferns. HOLY mackerel, these things are huge and beautiful. The Coach was so excited, he bought five.

While they were chitchatting, I wandered over to where they had some cows. In my 52 years, I’ve never been in close contact with a cow. Is that weird? Or do most people NOT come in contact with cows? I think they’re cute. So I called them over so we could chat, or you know, chew the cud.

Once the cows started heading my way, I remembered this was my first encounter with an actual living cow, and I know NOTHING about a cows temperament.

The google machine told me all I needed to know.

They did come closer, but not close enough for me to pet them. Perhaps they don’t have a google machine to ask DO HUMANS BITE?

Later, back at my In-laws place, we had a visitor. He must have been enamored with me, because he just stared. And stared. And stared. I’m wondering if the birds behind me were trying to warn me.

Later on, after it was dark, it came even closer to us. And just stared. And stared. We’re thinking that some loon on the canal has been feeding it and it now expects food from people. And possibly people as food. As best as we could tell he/she’s about 6-7 ft long. And I didn’t have to use the google machine to know if it bites or not; they invade my dreams on the regular.

I was blown away by the fact that they occasionally get manatees in the canal. How can you have a manatee AND an alligator in the same body of water? MIND.BLOWN.

We had a really nice visit with the family and the ferns are so darn cool, I want to figure out how to progagate mine and create more so I can sell them and get myself a baby cow.

The Coach and my BIL hung them at our house on Sunday; they’re really purty. I think they might need their own blogpost. Or perhaps this will be the last we ever speak of them.

Don’t you love a cliffhanger?

So, did you encounter any ginormous ferns, timid cows or too-comfortable gators?