The Coach and I went out on the boat this past weekend; the upside is it was a gorgeous day, the downside was it was as hot as hell and the water was a bit rough; it was a wear ‘two sports bras’ kind of boating trip but I was unprepared and was wearing a standard bathing suit. Am I complaining about being on the boat on a beautiful day? It certainly sounds like it.
I’m not always the most observant person, but I noticed a ton of pelicans on Saturday. I mean, we always have pelicans, but it seemed like a seriously LARGE amount everywhere we went. Is there a pelican season? Are they Gremlins?

They were all over the docks, waterways, signs, sea walls, and even IN the water. Did you know they can float? Professional floaters is what they are.
Max, who thinks he’s a badass, usually bows up and starts barking at random dogs, garbage trucks, bicycles, and recently a guy in a wheelchair who wanted to say hi to him. He started to act like he had a pair when he saw a pelican at the dock but then hid behind us when it moved. Little shit.
Seeing all of these large pelicans, spurred my intrigue: Why don’t you ever see baby pelicans? I pondered this thought with the Coach and he thought that possibly, they aren’t much smaller than adults when born and maybe we just don’t see the difference. Goodness, that was a terrible answer; clearly, he is NOT a pelican specialist.
I checked with ye ole’ google machine:
Something unusual about our populations of coastal pelicans is that baby pelicans are never seen. This is because pelicans nest far away in inland or remote locations in large breeding colonies
And then I found some pictures of baby pelicans, who are obviously much smaller when born since they come out of an egg. I’m directing this at you Coach…

Have you ever seen anything as cute as that?
*gag, winch, twitch, winch, gag*
Good lord, I can’t even write a lie without winching; that image will haunt my dreams forever.
That might possibly be the most unattractive creature that God put on the earth. What was he thinking?
Do you know that the species name is Pelecanus? Yes, there is an anus at the end of pelican, now I’m starting to get the whole picture.
A group of pelicans is called a pod. Actually, there are many other names for pelican groupings — a pouch, a scoop, a squadron or if they are fishing as a group, a fleet.
Then in my research, (which by the way I am NOT getting paid for, so if you learn anything from my blog, please thank me in the comments. It’s the least you can do) I found this meme that someone made. I laughed SO hard.

I shared it with my family and my typically very intelligent husband looked at me seriously and asked what IS a testicle swan and is that a real thing?
Good lawd, I just LOL’ed while writing this with tears streaming down my face.
Testicle swan; that should bring some interesting search inquiries my way.
I generally post on Monday mornings, but I’m gonna send this out into the world on Sunday because as things go around here, ya’ll won’t see it until Tuesday. Damn internet, what’s it good for? Scary pictures of baby pelicans, that’s what.
XO
