Posing as Mother Nature is exhausting

Thank you all for your empathy on my Monday post. I was really sad, down in the dumps, bummed, annoyed, etc…

Lu in TN commented (Thanks Lu!) about having a similar experience and reaching out to butterfly enthusiast groups for advice. Well, wouldn’t you know that I belong to a few different butterfly groups on The Face Book. I posted in my swallowtail group about my dilemma and lots of people had ideas; I love people with ideas.

Many of them were for nurseries too far from me, (I have my limits) but one mentioned a nursery that was only 1 & 1/2 hours. I had tasks that I had to accomplish yesterday, so a 3 hour round trip trek was pushing it, but I looked it up and it was only 25 minutes from my Lolo.

I started thinking….doesn’t that kid owe me something for the undying love I’ve been shelling out for almost 27 years? Didn’t I just purchase a wedding dress for her last week? *giggle giggle*

I texted her to see if she was up for a rescue mission and of course she was on board, I mean love and wedding dress, right?

I called the nursery and they had 6 pipevines, plus all sorts of good monarch butterfly plants that I needed. One, I had always coveted, but never found locally; the elusive Giant Swan Milkweed. AKA: Hairy Balls

She face-timed me when she was there and all the plants looked great. But, they didn’t look so BIG while we were on the phone. I ordered the 6 pipevines, 2 giant milkweed plants and 2 hairy balls. 🙂

She said, are you sure? They’re big. Me: YES!

SO, we met up a while later half way from my house and half way from her house in a Cracker Barrel parking lot. BTW, are we changing the name of that place anytime soon?

It felt like the best drug deal going down in a parking lot that I’ve ever been a part of. “You got my weed?”

Ya’ll, I didn’t have one inch of space left in my fake SUV. (I think of an SUV as a Suburban, Yukon, etc….) It fit tightly in Lolo’s Yukon, but it was a crunch in my fake SUV.

This is just a portion of the weed I picked up in the Caucasian Barrel parking lot. Ignore the exposed wiring in my garage….we have yet another project this week.

I immediately carried one of the pipevines to the grave yard ,scene of the crime area where I still had some starving caterpillars. I then went on a mission and found about 12 more caterpillars wandering. This morning I found two more survivors and put them on the vine.

BTW: last night I dreamt that the vine was eaten entirely overnight.

So, I saved around 15 or so caterpillars out of the 100’s.

Will I even put these vines in the ground? maybe not. I have PTSD. I’m just gonna see how it goes and if the ones the ground can fight their way back before being devoured again.

So, I feel a bit of relief today. For now. *giggle* I exhaust myself….

How is your humpday?

The one where nature made me ugly cry.

I started this post last week with some positivity and excitement in my heart.

A very happy and exciting event this (last) week was that I’ve been seeing my Polydamas flying around and I’ve got a boatload of babies on my Pipevine. Remember the last time I tried to video she/he, it didn’t pan out so well for me. I compared the butterfly to Sasquatch because I couldn’t verify she existed. But, on Sunday afternoon, I turned into an award wining cinematographer.

So, where’s my award? Kidding. Two showed up, surprised me and really made me look like I know what the heck I’m doing! Kids, dont’t try this at home, I am a trained professional.

That was last Sunday.

Yesterday, things were different.

–Insert Debbie Downer background music here–

Yesterday, I shed tears.

The polydama caterpillars ate every leaf.

I know. I know that’s what they’re supposed to do. And I’d hoped that I had enough vine for everyone at the table, but that didn’t happen.

Every piece of green on that vine was gone and there were still hungry caterpillars looking for food. The kitchen is closed…no food to be found. It hurts my heart seeing the hungry babies. *sigh*

There is no other food source for them and I tried to locate some Pipevine, but none of my local nurseries carry it.

I can’t even bare to go out there today and check on them.

I know the state of our world is a dumpster fire right now, but this, this is what was keeping me staying patially sane.

Yes, the plant will most likely grow back, but before it’s a full sized plant, the butterflies will most likely find it, lay a billion eggs and the vine won’t be able to support them all.

People keep telling me this is how nature works, but people, do you not realize I AM NATURE. OK, maybe I’M just TRYING TO CONTROL NATURE.

Ok. That’s enough of my pity party. I promise. Today is a new day let me see what other type of caterpillar I can starve.


I hope everyone had a pleasant July 4th. Our Callie is still recovering from all the freaking people who love to shoot fireworks; I need to get her some CBD or Vodka. Happy Independence day, let’s light things on fire! ‘Merica


Do you know what really gets me going?

I had planned on posting this early today(Monday), but I’d not finished cleaning it up yesterday when our internet went out. So, I spent most of the day churning butter and shearing our sheep.

The lemon

We’ve been waiting for our lemon tree to start gifting us since it was planted in December. ONE lone lemon fell off the heavily fruited tree this past week and was mostly yellow.

You’ve never seen two middle aged people get so excited about a piece of citrus.

There’s no membrane.

Smell this!

No seeds?

It’s perfect!

This is fruit-porn!

An intervention might be necessary.

The polydamas

I shared a while ago that the pipe vine I planted was gifted with caterpillars from an elusive Polydamas butterfly that I had NOT seen.

What is she, Sasquach, Santa Claus?

Evidence of polydamas because of fat little monster poly caterpillars

Friday I was standing in the middle of one of my gardens accessing what needed to be trimmed and along came a big black butterfly that I didn’t recognize at first. Then it hit me and all I could muster up was “Oh, you’re here”.

Indeed she was here. And indeed I spoke to her like she was my neighbor surprising me by returning my crock pot.

Here is 32 dizzying seconds of me trying to capture her on video. I believe there are better videos of sasquach on the internet.

I apologize if anyone has vertigo after that. I should have had you sign a waiver.

the garage door

A few months ago I was complaining about my garage door. Are you shocked to know that I do, on occasion, complain?

It’s the original door that we purchased when we built our house 23 years ago and the motor was at least 15 years old. When I say it sounded like a train coming through the house when you open and closed it, would be just a tad bit of an exaggeration. IT really was loud. The door itself had a fall last year and showed some cosmetic damage too.

So, after I made a comment about how much I disliked it the Coach encouraged me to do some research and find myself a new door and motor. Me: “well, that’s a novel idea.”

I did…and can I just tell you how happy I am with my new door and motor? I’ve been gushing about it to anyone who makes eye contact. You’d think I was gifted with the hope diamond as much as I talk about the darn thing.

Callie is my garage door model. It actually looks the same from the outside, but let me tell you in my best whispering voice *IT’S SO QUIET*.

I was going to share a video of it in motion, but I can’t be held responsible for anyone getting overly excited and soiling themselves.

Also, when I walk into the garage from the house, it has a sensor and a light pops on. I can’t be bothered with having to TOUCH a light switch ever again.

That’s all the excitement I can handle in one weekend….plus, that damn elusive internet.

I hope you are all well and not out there looting your neighborhood.

Bee well. And bee a good human.