The One Where We Find Joy Even If The Universe Has Other Plans; NO CARDS FOR YOU.

I saw this video earlier this week and it really made me laugh; it’s a knee slapper if you’re into that type of slapping.

I didn’t ask for any gifts, but that robe DOES look cozy. We don’t exchange anymore because we just buy what we want all year round and this year, we bought each other a house. BUT, I did ask for a dozen bags of mulch. There must be an anniversary or something that equates MULCH. Merry 35th Christmas you weirdo, here’s some shredded cypress for your garden.

Our Christmas cards are trapped in Post Office Purgatory. In the years past, this might have put me over the edge of my “Suz needs to have control over all holiday preparations or no one will feel the joy”.

But this year, what.ever. *rolls eyes at the thought of controlling anything*

We took our photos at Gibbs Gardens over the Thanksgiving holiday in GA; this is our official card pic for 2020. You saw it here first. Goodness, I love my people and I’m SO freaking blessed. I have some news regarding our kids; (Nathan is now my child too) I’ll be updating you all on that in a week or two. Some of it, I’m trying to digest.

Stop it. I AM smiling. THAT’S JUST MY FACE. *Inside joke for my people.


We do have something unprecedented happening this Christmas Day and I’m so freaking excited.

I won’t have to turn on the air-conditioning for the entire day as we are looking at a forecasted high of 58*. ON CHRISTMAS. This rarely happens and I can hardly stand it. I won’t be sweating on Christmas Day. Well, unless Santa comes through and I start spreading my coveted mulch.

True story, Iguanas are stunned by the cold weather and DO fall out of trees, but they mostly wake up once it warms up.

Wishing ALL of you a very special day, weekend, month, year to come. Praying that 2021 brings ONLY GOOD THINGS TO ALL OF US. Hopefully by yelling that the UNIVERSE will hear me.

I’m thankful for all of you who stop by here to have a chat because talking to myself gets stale after a while. XOXO

Fake It Until You Make It: A Good Motto For Every{damn}thing This Year.

It took me a minute to get into the Christmas spirit this year, but it finally happened. Well, kinda. I put up one tree (usually there are 2) and threw some ornaments in a bowl, wrapped some gifts (spoiler alert: fewer gifts this year), and put on my Pandora Christmas music station.

I’ve watched Elf and Christmas Family Vacation (my two favorite Christmas movies) and I drank three gallons of egg nog.

“Can I refill your eggnog for you? Get you something to eat? Drive you out to the middle of nowhere and leave you for dead?” -Clark Griswold.

Kidding. I’ve not had any egg nog this year. Or in the past 10 years.

I DO have a few favorite Christmas songs if you care to know.

I’m digging this new (to me) song by Kacey Musgraves. “me without you is like a present without a bow”

*Suz runs to add bows to all gifts under the tree.*

Have you heard of Whamageddon?

This is strange phenomenon of people who INTENTIONALLY do not want to hear Whams’ Last Christmas, which is one of the all-time best Christmas songs. What kind of animals are running around in our society?

George Michael; *sigh* what a beautiful human he was. So, in this horrible for humanity idea, whamageddon means you have to avoid hearing the original version of Last Christmas from 12/1-12/24. If you hear the song, you’re out!

So, if you were trying to avoid this song and you saw/heard it here: Merry Christmas, I WIN! I think.

I’m NOT a huge Mariah fan (even though we danced to one of her songs for our ‘first dance’, we were young and silly) But THIS song always makes me want to shake my booty, Judy.

Judy is one of my MIL’s and I love her. And I love to dance and pretend that someone nicer sang this song. BTW: This is named the #1 Christmas song according to Billboard’s top 10. Couldn’t have happened to a less nice person.

And for my nostalgic moments, The Carpenters. Oh, I loved their music when I was trying to grow up. My Mom had their album and I listened to it over and over. Ok, I still sing my heart out as if I’m Karen while listening to the 70’s channel in my car. Call Morgan & Morgan and sue my silly self.

And for my most favorite, sad, heart-wrenching Christmas song: River, originally sung by Joni Mitchell, but I love this version by Sarah McLachlan who took a minute off from making us cry about sad and abused animals to sing this song. Well played Sarah, well played.

This is probably my last post for a while because I’m so depressed about abused animals, Karen Carpenter, and people who want to avoid Wham. And guess what? MY CARDS STILL HAVE NOT ARRIVED. *raises both fists at the post office*

Do you have any favorite Christmas songs? Are you a purist who enjoys the original version of the ‘oldies, but goodies‘ or are you a RUN DMC Christmas in Hollis type of person?

If I don’t see you this week, I’m sending you a warm Merry Christmas hug free of germs and heavy on love.

XOXO

Shanking the USPS, Scarring Children & Giggles

I thought I didn’t have anything to blog about after all my Christmas from the past posts. Can you imagine? Me, running out of things to say? Well, I will say that I’m annoyed that my Cards from Shutterfly were supposed to be here last Friday, then Saturday, then Monday, then Tuesday, then Wednesday….wait, you see where this is going. I’ve never sent my cards out so late.

Is there going to be a penalty? Will my name be on a naughty list? Will Christmas be cancelled?


My friend Ernie turned me onto this silly little video clip and I watched it no less than 5 times and laughed hysterically each time before sending it on to my girls.

What is wrong with me for laughing? Don’t answer because you have a glimmer after reading the last few Suz’s childhood posts.

Way back in the day when both of the girls were still living at home, I had to constantly remind them to do.the.things.I.wanted.them.to.do. Of course, those things were not important to them, but in this house, I like things to be tidy. put away. out of sight. I stopped doing their laundry when they started high school because I know for a fact that there were times someone would try on an outfit, a minute later decide to NOT wear said outfit and toss it into the hamper. This is why some Mothers empty the bank account, flee to Vegas and live a solitary life. I know you’ve thought about it too.

So, laundry. There was a day (probably more like 400 days) that someone left their clothes in either the washer or dryer and I was needing to do laundry because I essentially do laundry every.single.day or the world might go up in flames. I was getting annoyed because I reminded the offender at least once, but it felt more like 20 times on this particular occasion to move.their.freaking.laundry to the next step. I walked into the family room and said offender(s) were on the Coach watching tv; I’d hit my limit. I said shouted sternly with bugged eyes staring at them “L A U N–D R Y!” Boy, oh boy, feet were moving and the faces were a bit frightened by my tone and scary expression.

To this day, when we’re together one of us will just chime in with LAUNDRY! if things are not going how I want them to go.

We have a few videos that we love to quote/mimic. Have you seen Ava? I’m 16, I’m a Grandmotha!

One of our favorite lines too is How About Cupcakes? I recall showing this one to my Mom and it was one of her favorite lines when I was taking care of her while she was sick.

I quote her at least once a week with How ’bout Cupcakes? But, I rarely eat cupcakes, so I should come up with something else. “How ’bout Wine?”

You know when you’re having a conversation with someone and they just stare at you blankly and say nothing? That’s what it feels like when you visit, but don’t comment. It makes you look silly, not that I can see you.

My dear fellow weirdlings, please leave me a comment with a link or a description of your favorite video clip or line that you use around your people. Think of it as a Christmas gift to Suz.

XOXO