The Joys Of Marriage; WHAT DID YOU SAY? And I’D Never Survive A Cold Climate Long Term.

The Coach does not have great hearing; it’s not all his fault. He DID work on airplane engines for many years, we’ve attended hundreds of live concerts and also, he’s 55. I have pretty good hearing, but not perfect as I’m {almost} old. For example, I can be two rooms away with our Sonos music playing though-out the house, running the vacuum cleaner and he will talk to me and expect me to hear him when all I hear is what Charlie Brown hears when an adult speaks. Womp womp, womp.

I’ll finish up, come back into the room he’s in, and say: If you were talking to me, I have no idea what you said. He’ll either (1) say, I don’t remember what I said or (2) NOT HEAR ME.

HUH?

I just shake my head and hope he wasn’t saying something really important like we just lost all our money in the stock market or he’s found a younger version of me working at Hooters and they’re in love.

Now picture me sitting directly next to him, and I say something clear-as-a-bell and he doesn’t hear a word. I just shake my head.

Raise your hand if you also do a lot of head shaking.

I was kidding about the Hooters thing; he doesn’t go there because their wings are crap.

Coffee, Coffee Creamer & Not Real Fighting

Saturday night we arrived home after a long and wonderful visit to GA. Goodness, I forgot that we left SO soon after Christmas, and that all our Christmas decor was STILL up. Oh SNAP, those damn elves are sleeping on the job.

Sunday morning around 8am I sauntered into the kitchen and the Coach said: Good morning, I see you have TWO creamers and I have NONE.

{I’m non-dairy because of my *effin* cholesterol issue. This stuff is tasty though}

Whatevs. I explained that when I purchased them, they were in equal numbers and he just consumes his quicker than I do.

With a sassy smile on his face: And you knew that I would use more….ya know Publix opened at 7 am.

Me: My azz wasn’t going anywhere at 7 am.

We love to ‘argue’ like this. If my girls were here they’d say: “you should be nicer to each other, are you getting a divorce?” I would generally reply MAYBE, WHO DO YOU WANT TO LIVE WITH? Which is always funny since they have their own homes.

As a kid I recall objects flying through the house between my Dad & Mom and then my Dad & Step-Mom; (see the common denominator?) ashtrays, shoes, rocking chairs. I remember my dad unhooking the phone from the wall and throwing it INTO the pool because he was tired of its ringing. So, I know real arguing and my girls make me laugh with their silly non-worries. The last thing their dad threw was a party for a charity.

Life is good when you’re married to a smart ass, silly and like-minded fool.

Speaking of Coffee & A Spoiled Suz…Baby, it’s cold inside, so let’s hibernate.

While we were in GA, it was cold. I mean, I knew it was gonna be winter, but being IN winter is different than thinking about winter. (My Canadian friends do not read the rest of this) It was 32-38 at night and with a high of 35-45 during the day. That’s pretty cold for this Florida girl. When I would take Callie for a walk, I had every portion of my body covered. Twice. Except for my face. And dang it, my face was cold.

Do you know what I learned? I’m like a bear. I get into my comfortable bed with the flannel sheets and heavy comforter at night and then in the morning, I DO NOT WANT TO GET OUT. So I don’t. I snuggle in, read emails on my phone, play words with friends, and guess who brings me coffee in bed? Mr. Demanding himself. SPOILED ROTTEN. I can then snuggle in for another 45 minutes or until my bladder can not wait any longer. Maybe I’ll start wearing diapers and linger longer; I am NOT above it.

After our huge knock-down argument about creamer, I repaid Coach for the coffee all-week-in-bed with a 15 egg frittata (with extra cholesterol) for him to enjoy all week long. We’re both nice when we’re not bickering over coffee creamer or saying HUH?

Happy Monday my friends. I’m hoping this week brings ONLY good things to all of us; may it be warm coffee, gentle people and residing in a comfortable home.

XO

Say It Isn’t So! Another Santa/Silly/Serendipity/Shenanigan Moment?

So, my silly Santa post from Wednesday. Wasn’t that a hoot? *she says as she slaps her knee like it’s 1942*

Back in the olden days when the pan-freaking-demic started I was on a mission to organize and downsize my boxes of photos. I found ScanMyPhotos.com and I began to go through boxes and boxes of old photos to send to them for the scanning process. Could I have done all this myself on my janky scanner/fax/printer? Yes. But it would have taken all of 2020 and I had puzzles to do and cholesterol numbers to raise.

A few months later when my boxes came back with my little thumb drives and a cd/DVD disc, there was also a small pile of pics that were marked TOO THICK to scan. Hey, listen, I’m trying to lose weight so get off my back about my thickness.

It was my intention to scan this small pile of pics myself at some point, but I think we all know what happened. They sat ON TOP of my printer for 3 months. Yesterday I grabbed the pile to scan and just three pictures in I found GOLD! *she shouts to no one in particular*

Do you remember the stoned/creepy looking Santa? Well, Coach also SAT ON HIS LAP THE SAME YEAR! Turns out we crossed santas paths two years in a row. I mean, can it be more obvious that he had a thing for me? Coach, not Santa. Please Lawd NOT SANTA!

So, lets recap.

1969 first stalking.

Suz makes a production, but the Coach might still be interested; he’s up for a challenge.

Second stalking 1970.

Suzanne is now acting properly (bribery does work) and the Coach has his Santa list with him. Guess what was on his list: FIND A WIFE WHO CAN BE BRIBED.

I think Santa was two sheets to the wind for Mark and I, but had cleaned up his act or it was too early when Coach and my future BIL visited him. I’m was kind of pissed that I didn’t get to bring my Santa List, but also pleased that I still got my Barbie Dream home because I didn’t even know how to write at this point, so, what list?

Oh my goodness. This was fun for me. I’ve got another Christmas from the past post for next week that I think you’ll enjoy. I mean, if you enjoy seeing my insane childhood, realizing I could be much more insane than I am, well, then you’ll enjoy it.

Have a great weekend! XOXO