When the people of target annoy you and we have a bizarre Lost & Found department.

I had a Who Moved My Cheese moment last week at Target. I knew in my head that I hadn’t been there in a while, but I didn’t realize how long until I looked at my Target App. (there’s an app for that because there’s an app for everything) It had been over 7 weeks. SEVEN. Before the United States Dumpster Fire started, I was a once-a-week Target girl. I kept asking (anyone who would listen) “Do you think Target is gonna go out of business since I’m not going as much?”

I was actually pretty excited about my shopping trip, but sadly my excitment quickly turned to slight panic and not at the Disco. I was lost as hell because during my shopping absence the Target People remodeled/rearranged the ENTIRE store. Without my permission; what is this world coming to?

Are you old enough to remember the book Who Moved My Cheese?

She found what, where?

I have a text thread with my girls; My DNA Squad. Don’t tell their Dad, he’ll be seriously jealous.

To answer her question, yes, she used to pack heat. And also sew. And also was possibly the most unorganized person ever; hence ammo in her sewing basket. I’ll have to check her revolver for some thread. Lolo confirmed that the sewing basket still smelled like Grandma’s apartment.

I miss that unorganized lady like crazy.

I found what, where?

Last weekend my Great Niece was here visiting for the day. We broke out the girls Barbie house and accessories. Lots and lots of accessories.

I sent a text to the girls letting them know we were dusting off the Barbies.

One accessory didn’t belong in the Barbie box at all.

I removed the play scissors from Barbies’ poor ear before Kinsley was traumatized.

Can you imagine what I found in that little box within the Barbie box?

Don’t ya love a cliffhanger? I’ve got to figure out a way for you to return to this nonsense.


Feed me cheese and call me Kelly, but I’ll still be a liar.

I originally shared this in 2009. I stumbled upon it recently and thought it was worth sharing again; my Mom had her hands full when I joined the scene. 

When I was around 4 or 5, my Mom took me to our beloved shopping mall for a little outing. She thought it would be a good idea to go into the Jordan Marsh department store and try on some new clothes for herself.

Silly woman.

Oh, how I loved that store. Not only did they sell clothes, TOYS, perfume, and shoes, they also had a lunch counter. I think they may have had the best Girl cheese sandwiches ever.

 (it wasn’t until I was much older that I learned it was GRILLED and not GIRL cheese. Now, that made sense that my brother was able to also order it.)

On this particular day, as Mom and I were in the dressing room, and I already had my fill of girl cheese, I was bored to tears with her trying on clothes. 

I made a break for it. I easily climbed out of my stroller, for I am part monkey.

It was so easy to escape my cell  underneath the door, especially when my captor was naked.

These are the things I did to her, but secretly I think she enjoyed all the chases I put her through. How else would a young mom get her daily exercise?

I remember bits and pieces of this day, but as my Mom told the story I think it gets better each time.

I vaguely remember wandering through the clothes department and out into the freedom of the mall.

I kind of remember crossing over the little wishing pond in the middle of the mall; the pond that I dreamt of falling into one day and collecting all the shiny coins.

I vaguely remember the smell of burning candles, pretty colors and twinkling lights.

Alas, I found myself in the Wicks-n-Sticks store. Also known as heaven.


Photo borrowed from here.

Then I remember people asking me ALL sorts of questions; they really wanted to know about me!

What is your name? Where is your Mommy? How old are you?

Wow. A kid can get used to this kind of attention. 

“Why hello nice people, my name is Kelly and I am 9 years old.”

YES, I was a big fat little liar.

According to my Mom, it took 20 minutes for 20 3 deputies and some all of the mall staff to find me. 

Prior to Amber alert days, you could get away with more stuff; the good ole’ days. 

I was a bad, bad girl.

And the name Kelly? Who knows where that came from.

Since I’m a fickle pickle, a year or two later, I changed my name to Cindy.
Cindy Damn Brady. 

The funny part? Today, when I venture to the mall, I still end up in the candle department.  Minus security.


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Is that mess of a kid Suz, Kelly or Cindy?  

How did you traumatize your parents?

C’mon. I know you did. How else would we be friends? 

The one where I thought I had nothing to say. Also, Bev’s birthday.

Do you ever have those days, weeks, or months where you have nothing to say?

Me neither.

But this week I’ve been quiet.
It’s been a weird week. I’ve had some things come up; some distractions.

Can I say that I miss doing my puzzle?

Lord. I’m hopeless.

Things I also miss:

*Hugging people; mostly my girls. But also my friends.

*My gym, my fitness coach, and my gym people. (I may be the youngest at our gym and it’s literally like Cheers, where everybody knows your name)

{Am I the Norm of our Gym? Maybe}

*Marshalls, Home Goods, TJ Maxx. I know. It’s petty, but I do enjoy my outings.

*Publix. I miss just running in for one or two things. I know, I will NEVER take grocery shopping for granted again. Never.

*Dining out. The Coach and I have had a standing Friday night date night for many years; I miss going out for dinner. But, we’ve been ordering in (or picking up) at least one night a week.

Listen, this is my petty little list and really, I’m NOT complaining. It’s just things that I miss.

Can I count my blessing? Oh HELL yes.

*My people are healthy.
*Our business is still in motion.
*I have money in the bank to pay bills.

We are fortunate.
I wish everyone was as fortunate.


Tomorrow would be my Mom’s 77th birthday. For the past few years, one or two of my favorite people (when available) join me for two of my Mom’s three favorite things:
Mexican food and a margarita.

Her third favorite thing? Latin men.

We, being married women and all we generally skip those.

Plus, she was known to be a bad pecker picker; starting with my Dad and she went downhill from there. I’m not badmouthing her; she knew it too.

So, tomorrow we are going to attempt to have margaritas together via Zoom; it will be my first time.
For the zoom, not the margarita.
Now I’m wondering how I can get some Mexican food too.

{Suz and Bev at her 72nd birthday. Guess what we were eating and drinking?}

My mom LOVED my blog. She would call me and say: YOU are so funny.
OR she’d say: Who were you referring to in that post?
Or she would complain that I didn’t blog enough.

Now that I write all that, she sounded demanding.

For someone who had nothing to say, I found some words to share today.

Wishing you all a good weekend and if you have the ingredients, have a margarita in Beverly’s honor on Saturday. She was the best Mom I ever had and I miss her terribly.

If you are fortunate enough to have one or both parents, call them this weekend, it’s the least you can do.

I’m not even a Jewish mom, but I can make y’all feel guilty, can’t I?