I hope I don’t regret not having a title for this mess.

It’s come to my attention that I have a lot of feelings.

Good ones.
Sad ones.
Really, really bad ones.

Just kidding about the bad ones, but I do love a sing-song rhyme.

Also, spell check always tells me that I don’t’ know how to spell rhyme.

People always say to live your life without regret.
Who are these people and why should we listen to them?

{not my tattoo nor my decolletage}

How does one live without regret? Like, NOT one regret? 
I’m not buying what they’re selling.

My regrets; I have a few.

I regret being an anal-retentive Mother when my girls were little. I know exactly *why I was like that 
and I don’t believe they are scarred, but still, I could have been a ‘lighter’ person.

I regret some of the times I didn’t answer the phone when my Mom called me.

I regret all the times I stressed over buying and wearing a bathing suit. From the time I was 15 until now; I stressed whether I was 95lbs or 140lbs.

I regret not wearing sunscreen on my decolletage during my teen years.

Upcoming evidence of feelings all over the place.

This song was on my mind the other day.
When my Mom was in hospice we played some music for her.
Me: Oh, she loves this song (she really did) so I started playing it. 

After a minute or so, my Aunt Trisha said: Yeah, she likes that song, but she really loves this one.

My Mom was heavily sedated and hadn’t communicated in hours, but she twitched when this song came on. I know she was trying to dance.

When I was a kid and she would dance/drive in the car at hearing a good song…Why did that mortify me? 
Dance/driving is the best.

I don’t regret dropping everything and spending copious amounts of time with my Mom in ATL when she was sick.

I don’t regret a single day of actually being a Mom or a Wife. (I capitalized on those as they are both positions that I take seriously.)

I don’t regret knowing the word decolletage; it’s an interesting word.

I might regret hitting publish on this post.

XO

Random thoughts on shanking, sewing, clothes, and how I used to go by the name Sue

*Suz coughs*
Random person: Do you have the coronavirus?

If one more person asks me if I have the virus, I’m gonna shank them. 


I was thinking the other day how people don’t make their own clothes anymore. When I was a kid, most if not all my clothes were homemade. My Grandma (the cigarette feeding one) and my Mom made them for me. Was it to save money? Was it because the stores didn’t sell cute clothes? 
Or was it just the norm in the ’60s and ’70s?

I recall my G’ma had her sewing machine set up 24/7 in the Florida room of her Miami Springs house. Sue, you need a new dress? Go pick out some fabric and I’ll whip up a dress for you.
Wam, bam, thank you Gram.
*I just made myself LOL*

Dress made by my Mom, Bev. I believe I was trying to flip off the photographer. 

I remember being around 12 and my Mom’s BFF Connie whipped up some pants for her daughters Jodie, Mary and I in her makeshift sewing room. Sue, what color do you want? I chose purple because I felt like royalty.
*There I go again, LOL-ing at myself* 
I remember the pants were considered ‘elephant pants’ at the time. Do you remember those? Wide-legged?
I felt really cool going to school the next day with my new pants.
Then I felt really hot at recess because they were not breathable and I live in Florida. Also, I wasn’t able to stand near my mom and her ciggies because polyester is very flammable.
But hey, I had new pants; I was hot.
*I did it again.*

I have no direction today…just feeling kind of nostalgic for some reason.
Menopause? PMS? Old age? I’ll pay a million dollars cents to anyone who can figure out what’s happening in my head.

***If I were a country singer, my name would be MiRANDOM Lambert***

The Coach’s Mom made most of his clothes too as a kid. She was a professional seamstress, so that makes a lot of sense.
I can sew on a button, mend a blown-out crotch, and other minor things, but I can’t create a piece of clothing.
You do realize the blown-out crotch isn’t a medical thing, but a clothing thing. Right?

Lolo loves to sew and learned a lot while sitting on her Grandma’s (Coach’s mom) lap. She has several sewing machines and just taught herself how to do hand embroidery.

OMG. I just remembered that my Mom used to embroider too. No wonder she didn’t have time to make us a proper meal, she was crafting! Thank goodness we didn’t have the internet when I was a kid or I might still be wearing diapers.

If Bev were alive, she would LOL at that one.

I know I have a bajillion pics of me somewhere wearing some of the cute outfits that were homemade, but can I find them when I need them? hells no.

But I did find my very first topless pic; apparently, we were out of fabric this week.

So, when I was in elementary school, it was too daunting for me to write out Suzanne.
I recall my Dad calling me Sue all the time. It must have been daunting for him too.
So, I went by Sue.
Now, I go by Cookie.
Just kidding.
Unless you think Cookie will stick because I really like it.

XOXO