The Masks Are Messing With My Eyesight and It’s Probably Time To Talk About Teeth Again, Right?

I was in the grocery store recently when it dawned on me: I do not see well while wearing a mask.

Surprisingly, I wasn’t wearing this type of mask although, I remember that feeling clearly.

I was wearing This type of mask. Just like the rest of you.

{Don’t even act surprised by the butterflies}

Something about it messes with my peripheral vision and I always think someone is coming up behind or next to me. I feel completely paranoid and partially blind. And if I’m wearing a ball cap? Forgettaboutit. I’m running into things. If I had to wear glasses as well, I might as well get a Guide Dog to assist me.


GIVE ME ALL THE GUM

I’m finally done with my Invisalign treatment. I started this teeth straightening journey last January. I pick up my retainer next week and I pray that I don’t leave it wrapped up in a napkin at TGI Fridays and then have to beg the staff to let me dig through the garbage for it. If that hasn’t happened to you or your kids, you’re missing out on a nice bonding experience.

I believe I shared with you the reason for my Invisalign; not so much for the straightening/vanity part, but for the gap that was growing between my back molars and food being stuck in there constantly. Did you know your teeth keep moving as you age? Add that to growing ears and noses: JOY! So, no more gappage to attract chicken or lettuce and also, straight teeth. But, my dentist did the old bait and switch thing…he didn’t tell me until I was DONE that I will have to wear a retainer for the REST OF MY LIFE (at night) or my teeth will move again. He’s so sneaky and now wealthier thanks to me.

What am I most excited about other than not getting stuff stuck between my teeth?

CHEWING GUM, she screams!

I’m a gum chewing addict and I’ve not been able to chew gum for an entire year. There must be some sort of reward for curbing my addiction for so long. Where is my hand engraved plaque?

Valentines Day Idea; you’re welcome.

Do you remember when I posted about finding a box of baby teeth? It was in July and you’ve not had anything else exciting happen, so you must remember.

I saw this craft project recently and I thought DAMN, why didn’t I think of this?

Did I just hear someone throw up in their mouth? Wait, that was me.

Anyhoo, who the hell are we sharing the planet with? Freaking weirdos, that’s who. I’m not even kidding when I tell you that there are tons of Etsy stores wanting to make pretty weird things out of your teeth. Those crafters are probably hanging out behind Dentist offices like junkies asking, “hey, you got any incisors today? how about a canine? C’mon man, I jussstttt need one!”

Can you even imagine? Earrings? Pinkie Rings? How about a belly button ring with your Dad’s molar? A statement necklace? oh, yeah, THAT IS A STATEMENT and the statement is you’re a loon, stay away.

*Phew* *Deep breaths Suzanne, deep breaths* Goodness. I’m all riled up like I downed a Mountain Dew.

Happy Friday. We made it another week and the planet has not imploded upon itself which I thought for sure might happen.

Anyone else feel blinded by their mask? Any plans this weekend? And might those plans include flossing and brushing your pearly whites?

Bee well my friends.

XOXO

Look At Me, Not Wallowing, But I’m Totally Complaining About Wallowers. Happy 2021 Our Home Away From Home.

Happy. Merry. All that jazz.

I’ve had it up to HERE with negativity. I can’t. I won’t. Go away negative people, go far away.

“We are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.” 

― Oscar Wilde,

Doesn’t it seem like some of us can only focus on the bad stuff and can’t go a day without mentioning the shit show of 2020, what-they-can’t-do instead of what-they-CAN-do. Be like that damn Disney girl who sings LET IT GO over and over again. Wait, she’s annoying as hell. Never mind. Me, forever the Pollyanna….singing The Sun is gonna come out tomorrow at the top of my lungs and perhaps annoying my neighbors.

Does it feel like I’ve gone off my meds? Or does it feel like I SHOULD be on meds? Any suggestions?


Transitioning to the good stuff…

We had a very nice, low key New Years Eve and day in JawJa with our dear friends. It was a cold/wet/dreary day and I had made a boat rental reservation for the lake in our community 6 weeks prior. Damned if we were going to cancel and miss out on some fun. We were ALMOST the only people on the lake, aside from some awesome herons, mallard ducks, geese, bald eagles and the Gorton fisherman.

The thing about us and our people, we can have a blast just about anywhere in any instance. Wet, cold and the boat couldn’t get over 2.8 MPH, I’m sure I swim faster, but we tootled around the lake and laughed like we were at a comedy show for two hours. Cheap entertainment.

We enjoyed homemade meatballs and cooked-all-day spaghetti sauce, collectively created a large pot of chili to be eaten over several days, sipped good wine, and of course some movies on the couch.

Callie had her boxer friend Milo for a few days which she loved, we had lovely sunrises and look at me trying to save a buck on our gas bill by watching a fireplace instead of turning on a fireplace. Who knew I was such a genius?

I crack myself up. Very cheap entertainment.

I truly believe things WILL GET better for every one of us. I really do.

So, did anyone even bother to make a resolution this year?

Cheers to all things being better. My favorite saying: Optimism is contagious. Feel free to pass it on.

XO