Here’s Your Sign, Blonde Moment #250 And What Fears Do We Share?

It’s been over a year since we purchased our GA house and I’m still nesting. It takes time, but hopefully I have some time left in me. I was at my happy place recently (HomeGoods) looking for something in particular, but you know how it goes: you stumble upon something you didn’t know you needed.

They had a whole section of ‘wine related’ items that drew me in like a 13 year old girl to sparkles. I saw this unusual wooden sign, picked it up, half read it, looked at the back and realized it was made out of a wine barrel. I thought to myself, Hmmmm….I’ve never heard of this phobia, but I recall having a conversation with my girls about phobias before and there are a lot of I phobias haven’t heard of.

I bought it thinking it would be great at the wet bar on the terrace level of our house.

I had it sitting on the counter for a few days and my Aunt Trisha casually said to me: That sign is too funny, I love it!

I was JUST ABOUT to say to her: I know, I’ve never heard of…and then it dawned on me.

SOUND IT OUT SUZANNE!

NO VINO PHOBIA.

This wasn’t a bonafide medically referenced phobia.

But I am affected by it.

I should be more affected by BlondeMomentPhobia because those are not so rare.

Are you embarrassed to know me? I mean, that was a humdinger of a blonde moment

And speaking of REAL phobias, here are the most common phobias:

  1. Arachnophobia (Fear of spiders)
  2. Ophidiophobia (Fear of snakes)
  3. Acrophobia (Fear of heights)
  4. Aerophobia (Fear of flying)
  5. Cynophobia (Fear of dogs)
  6. Astraphobia (Fear of thunder and lightning)
  7. Trypanophobia (Fear of injections)
  8. Social Phobia (Social anxiety disorder)
  9. Agoraphobia (Fear of a situation where escape may be difficult)
  10. Mysophobia (Fear of germs)
  11. Claustrophobia (Fear of small spaces)
  12. Glossophobia (Fear of public speaking)

I didn’t think I had any real phobias, but some of them affect me in a mild way. Not life altering, but small worries if you will.

1. Aside from Daddy Long Legs most spiders weird me out; DLL’s are common at our house and I have no issue with carrying them outside, but regular spiders? You dyin’ today.

2. At home, we have a lot of black racer snakes and they don’t scare me. Although trying to get one off the pool lanai does prove a challenge. In GA we have copperheads and they are plentiful; they can be very dangerous to humans and pets. I have a very big fear of them while in GA walking the dogs.

3. Not a fan of being up high, but I do it when necessary; you know to change a lightbulb or dust a fan.

4. Coincidentally, my fear of flying is always quieted when my is Novinophobia taken care of. A glass of wine while flying always gives me that feeling of: ‘hey, if we crash, it’s been a fun!’

12. If I know I have to speak in public, I become very nervous prior. It could be at a group meeting or introducing myself to a large group of strangers. Generally, I’m a great conversationalist, but if I know ahead of time that I’m gonna have to address more than 10 people, I’m a hot mess.

One fear that I’m afflicted with but couldn’t find a name for: ThingsLikeLaddersOrLogsFlyingOffTrucksAndSmashingThroughMyWindshieldaphobia.

Do you struggle with any of the top phobias or something different than what is a common phobia?

Are we still friends after I admitted to not really reading comprehending the sign in front of me?

Signed, your novinophobic friend Suz

XOXO

Pat, I’d Like To Buy That Man A Beer And A Vowel.

This is a short & sweet post. I have a real post set for tomorrow (or the next day) as tomorrow is a momentous occasion. What? Your calendar is blank for tomorrow?

On Saturday, the Coach and I had a very romantic afternoon. We went to the hardware store; we purchased some lumber for the new deck gates that will necessitate me not having to chase dogs who are chasing squirrels.

I’m sure you all were gasping when you read LUMBER. *wood=$$=swoon*

Afterwards I suggested we do something fun because when we’re UP HERE, we tend to do a lot of house stuff.

Me: “I always see signs for GA breweries and wineries; let’s hit a brewery today.”

If you know me, you know I don’t drink beer. I mean, I used to drink beer, but now I’m a wino. You know what they never have at breweries? Wine.

First LUMBER, then BEER! I should be rewarded.

Coach ordered the ‘lightest’ beer for me and it tasted just like a Corona even though it was made in GA. If I were on a deserted island and could only drink beer, that would be my flavor choice.

But hello, I’m not volunteering to visit THAT island.

Anyhoo, there was a TV that was showing Wheel Of Fortune. We were trying to figure out the puzzle answers while also contemplating the life choices of one male contestant who had the worst hairstyle I’ve ever seen on a human.

Coach says: Are those people still alive? Referring to Vanna & Pat.

I looked at him sideways, thinking he didn’t just say what he said, then wondered if his beer had more alcohol in it than mine.

Yes, this is a current show. They are alive and well.

He’s so pretty. Thank God he has me to keep him in line with important current events such as the living/dying status of game show hosts.

Happy Monday y’all. Anyone else enjoy some hops this weekend?

XO

I Won’t Be Guilty Of Overwhelming My Innards & Just How Many Kids Do You Have?

Are we ever tired of looking at butterfly photos? The correct answer is no. Female Black Swallowtail; She looks like a work of art to me.

I’m a supplement whore

I take the bulk of my vitamins and supplements in the morning. However, I’m not one to ingest them all in one big gulp {gag} like someone who is very close to me does.

I take one to two at at time over a 30-45 minute period. How my brain works: Taking all of my vitamins at once might confuse my body, so I spread the process out over the early part of the day.

This next part really has nothing to do with that, but:

I noted after a conversation with Lolo a few months ago, that she might have something similar going on in her brain. She didn’t mail ALL of her Save The Date wedding notices at once, but instead spread them out to about a dozen a day over a 3-4 day time frame. I can only assume she didn’t want to overwhelm the post office.

OR she just didn’t address them all at once. I didn’t ask.

BTW: Several of her ‘save the dates’ never made it to their destination. Post office be damned.

Which makes me wonder if my vitamins are actually making it to where they need to be or if they’re in limbo; perhaps hanging out in my esophagus or trapped behind a lung, confused as hell.

The Bumper Sticker(s)

Recently, I was behind a car that had two cute bumper stickers; I’ve blogged before about how I don’t fully comprehend the allure of bumper stickers, but these were giggle worthy. 

One sticker said: Grocery Gettin’ Loser Cruiser. 

It took me a minute, but then I gathered that this person had a life similar to many of us; their biggest outings were to the grocery store.

And the other bumper sticker read: Honk if a kid falls out. 

That one was pure gold.

I really wanted to catch up with her at a light and let her know she made my day, sadly the traffic didn’t care about me trying to give compliments and effed up my opportunity.


Well, that’s all the head scratching entertainment I have for you this week. I’m not even going to bitch about mention the gas hoarders and the fact that they almost ruined my road trip yesterday from FL to GA .

Anyone else worried about confusing their insides? Bueller. Bueller?

XOXO