Out of the mouths of (my) babes

Things my gifted 12 year old has said recently:

“You know what would be a really bad invention?

A fireplace made out of wood. “

“Wouldn’t it be great if people had tails?
That way we would know if they are happy or not.”
“There is a set of twins in my grade. I am friends with one of them.
But I am just not sure which one.”
I seriously almost wet me pants at the twins remark.
She and I were in the car recently and I was in one of my goofy moods. I started telling her a story, and I was using a strange accent to tell it. She stared laughing and of course I started laughing and I could not stop. I sounded like I was a cackling witch, which made me laugh all the more. When I finally contained myself I realized she recorded the whole episode on her cell phone. Later that day, she replayed it at home and we laughed again.
I said to her: Don’t you dare play that outside this house for anyone to hear.
Her Reply:OK, I will just invite all my friends over here to listen to it.”
Smart Alec.

And yet, she looks so cute.

Things I have learned as of late….

Buying cheap toilet paper is not a good way to save money.

Kathy Lee Gifford has only gotten more annoying.

Cats look incredibly weird while throwing up.

Being a bit early is way better than being late.

People who are chronically early (like an hour) Are just as annoying as people who are chronically late.

I should never run, unless I am being chased.

Exercise is NOT overrated. I need to do it more.

I don’t have an ounce of road rage in me.

Squirrels are suicidal. Why else would they run out in front of me?

Thomas Dolby really was NOT blinded by science. He can see just fine.

I make a sad face when I see roadkill. Even butterfly road kill gets my sympathy.

Not that I am near perfect….

To the crazed woman behind me at the grocery check out:

Yes, I was way in front of you.

Yes, I had my act together. I had my debit card out. My groceries put on the conveyor belt correctly…heavy, cold, produce. all in the proper order. thankyouverymuch. ( a bit anal?)

I even had my Reusable bags ready to go.

As I am trying to swipe my debit card, You were ignoring your 6 kids under 8 yrs old.

They were running wild. Meanwhile you were PUSHING your cart into my hip. Owwww

I know you were distracted. Not by your kids of course.
But by your having to fill out your food stamp papers.

Yes. I saw that and that is ok. I am all for helping those in real need.

But really, could you NOT buy some condoms with those food stamps?

Instead of the (2) twelve packs of beer you had behind the milk and cereal?

aggghhh. Why do I feel like I am the voice of reason? that is scary for me.

and it should be for you too.

Priorities.