I’m Certain You Missed Me And WHAT? Smashing Hamsters?

The Coach and I had a little getaway this past week. (Wednesday-Sunday) Surely, you missed the heck out of me. I will share some of our adventures, but first, I must gather my thoughts. And do laundry. LORDY, the laundry!

For some reason I didn’t sleep well last night; no reason for it as I was so very tried after traveling across the world country, but for the life of me ma’ brain and ma’ body wouldn’t stop tossing. Probably, I was worried about getting back to all the cooking and cleaning again. Does Oprah or Kim K. worry about such things?

Anyhoo, my sweet MIL came to our home before we left, so she could stay with completely spoil our dogs, fend off any would-be robbers, release butterflies and of course, Manage The Monarch Hospice Situation. (One butterfly is still alive and kicking!) She even had dinner ready when we got home. Am I the luckiest girl or what? I’d bet a million dollars Kris Jenner isn’t doing any of that.

My Rock Star MIL rocking Biscuit to sleep.

The Poor Hamster!

Ok, this is probably way too much for most of you, but I am who I am.

Coach was up early this morning and before he headed to the gym, he let the Frenchies out to do their business, then they both romped onto our bed, and quickly went back to sleep. I laid there for about fifteen minutes, then decided to just get the hell up if I can’t sleep. After my cup of Joe, I started to make the bed when I saw there were spots of blood all over our white sheets and white coverlet. DAMN! For a second there, I thought I started my period, then remembered I don’t have those parts any longer.

One of the dogs must’ve cut her paw while out in the wilds of the world, so let’s add the sheets and coverlet to the piles of laundry! Hells, bells, what else do I have to do with my time?

Anyhoo, this blood in the bed sitch gave me a flashback.

Many years ago we were on the East Coast visiting our dear friends Kelly and Don over the weekend. On Sunday morning, I rolled out of bed, headed to their kitchen for coffee and Kelly was going from her bedroom to the laundry room carrying her sheets; she had a disheveled, tired look about her. Don came walking up behind her and muttered, “Suzanne, It looked like Kelly smashed and murdered a hamster in our bed last night”

I DIED! We were in hysterics over his phrase about the hamster.

I mean, if you have or had a uterus anytime in your life, you know the feeling!

Of course, I conveyed this story to my girls way back when, and it’s a phrase that we would toss around. THAT POOR HAMSTER!

I’m so happy to have that part of my life behind me! With all the hamsters that I’ve murdered, I should be in PETA Jail.

This meme resonates so much, but I hope to never forget the Hamster comment.

Who can compete with my Gem of a Mother In Law? Any takers? I’ll fight ya, I swear!

I will be making my rounds to all of you this week; please tell me nothing exciting happened while I was away.

XOXO

27 thoughts on “I’m Certain You Missed Me And WHAT? Smashing Hamsters?”

  2. Hahahah….that is a funny choice of words. My MIL has been gone for some time; she lived far away from us. My mother (also gone now; look, I’m old) was amazing in helping out with kids, house and more. Now I am the amazing mother in law. The son- and daugher-in-law that I have now (my other 2 kids are still single) sadly both have messed up mothers and zero relationship so I get to be their surrogate and love it. 

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I have no doubt that you are the Most Amazing MIL!! I love that you’ve stepped up where others have not been able to; nurturing the young people in our lives is SO important.

      Like

  5. Damn, Biscuit could not have been in better hands! Look at that peaceful face!

    I’m 6 years post-menopause. The only time I think about it now is when I’m packing for a trip and realize I DON’T have to worry about packing for that hamster crap anymore!!! Hallelujah!

    Welcome home. You didn’t miss much except for the downfall of J. Lo on TikToc!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Biscuit is the cutest dog we’ve ever had. Don’t tell the others.

      Life is so much easier without that monthly nightmare, which for me was debilitating for my entire adult life.

      J. Lo? What? I don’t know anything!

      Like

  8. That photo of Biscuit being spoiled is just too, too much. You are fortunate, indeed, to have such a great sitter for your menagerie.

    And that butterfly! What a Will To Live!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. You might need to look inward and see what you did to deserve two terrible mother-in-law’s!
      KIDDING!
      I just got lucky, but I also strive to be a wonderful MIL myself, because why the heck not?

      Liked by 1 person

  10. Look at your MIL loving on your pup. I will not fight you- your MIL and Coach’s people are the bomb. My MIL would do anything for my offspring . . . including letting them bring sand toys into the house to play with on the couch, sand and all, while I was bringing a baby home from the hospital. Scoring points with the little but exhausting me. 😉

    Maybe it’s my vacation brain, but for a minute I was waiting for deets on how their pet hamster ended up in their bed? 😉

    That’s a hysterical phrase. I don’t miss those ‘crime scene’ days.

    Looking forward to hearing about your trip.

    Liked by 1 person

  11. I  laughed so hard at the hamster story. Hamster? Oh my goodness….

    Isn’t a great MIL the best unexpected gift ever? You find the perfect guy….but wait there’s more! Yays!

    My MIL is also absolutely wonderful. And I hit the jackpot with my FIL too! I’m not a fighter tho so I’m willing to let your MIL take the Champ title this time!

    Liked by 1 person

  12. Oy vey you make me laugh. I am still on the stupid hamster wheel and every month I curse “WHY??!!” And yeah, you are the luckiest with your MIL, let’s just say I decided to marry my husband before I met his family 😉

    Liked by 1 person

  13. My mother in law was a sweetheart but she was too nervous of a person to ever have been able to help us with anything like babysitting dogs or kids for that matter! I’m glad you didn’t have any smashed hamsters in your bed!

    Liked by 1 person

Comments are closed.