I hope I don’t regret not having a title for this mess.

It’s come to my attention that I have a lot of feelings.

Good ones.
Sad ones.
Really, really bad ones.

Just kidding about the bad ones, but I do love a sing-song rhyme.

Also, spell check always tells me that I don’t’ know how to spell rhyme.

People always say to live your life without regret.
Who are these people and why should we listen to them?

{not my tattoo nor my decolletage}

How does one live without regret? Like, NOT one regret? 
I’m not buying what they’re selling.

My regrets; I have a few.

I regret being an anal-retentive Mother when my girls were little. I know exactly *why I was like that 
and I don’t believe they are scarred, but still, I could have been a ‘lighter’ person.

I regret some of the times I didn’t answer the phone when my Mom called me.

I regret all the times I stressed over buying and wearing a bathing suit. From the time I was 15 until now; I stressed whether I was 95lbs or 140lbs.

I regret not wearing sunscreen on my decolletage during my teen years.

Upcoming evidence of feelings all over the place.

This song was on my mind the other day.
When my Mom was in hospice we played some music for her.
Me: Oh, she loves this song (she really did) so I started playing it. 

After a minute or so, my Aunt Trisha said: Yeah, she likes that song, but she really loves this one.

My Mom was heavily sedated and hadn’t communicated in hours, but she twitched when this song came on. I know she was trying to dance.

When I was a kid and she would dance/drive in the car at hearing a good song…Why did that mortify me? 
Dance/driving is the best.

I don’t regret dropping everything and spending copious amounts of time with my Mom in ATL when she was sick.

I don’t regret a single day of actually being a Mom or a Wife. (I capitalized on those as they are both positions that I take seriously.)

I don’t regret knowing the word decolletage; it’s an interesting word.

I might regret hitting publish on this post.

XO

The one where I visit a Doctor in a closet and I need a tongue transplant.

So, I broke down and finally went to the Dr. yesterday. I really didn’t want it to get to that point because, and I hope I’m not telling you something you don’t know, but all the sick people are at the Doctors office.

My regular Dr stopped taking our insurance, so right now I really don’t have a regular.
But I am regular in contrast to the lady I will meet up with in line at CVS.

My friend told me about the Minute Clinic. Have you heard of these? Just a little closet office inside CVS and you’re seen by a nurse practitioner. I mean, I wouldn’t go there if I fell off the roof while pressure washing and had a bone jutting out of my skin, but for my issue it was sufficient.

I was sure I had a sinus infection and of course, I was right. Sadly, they wouldn’t pay ME for the diagnosis, I still had to pay THEM. ‘Merica
Anyhoo, I’m on antibiotics, some saline spray, and Flonase. I’m certain I’ll be feeling like my normal sassy self in a hot minute.

The day before I had a bunch of errands to run starting with picking up a package at UPS, then Target.
I went into the UPS place and the lady fetched my package for me. Then I had to sign paperwork and this entire time, I needed to cough. I was holding in my cough. Kind of like holding your pee, but you know in my throat.
Finally, package in hand, papers signed and I almost made it to the door when my body wouldn’t hold in the cough one more second.

*COUGH*

I’m not kidding when I say a lady 4 feet behind me let out a gasp so big, that I know tons of old UPS germs made a beeline for her respiratory system.
Calm down, people.

After I didn’t infect the patrons of the UPS store, I headed to Target for my typical shopping run that I do every 10-14 days. On my list were some various items and apparently a hot ticket item.
No, it wasn’t for Tickle Me Elmo.

*cue the dramatic background music*
               
              TOILET PAPER

Do you think they had any TP at Target? 

Nope. Nada.
Not a square to spare.

I sent a family text complaining about the toilet paper and Linds let on that she is always stocked up and she would share, but only a square.
My people.

The next day after my visit with the minute clinic Dr inside the CVS closet, I purchased a six-pack of bud toilet paper like a normal human.
There was a lady behind me that had at least 48 rolls of TP.
My tongue was bleeding from me biting it because I wanted to ask if she needed a referral to a gastro specialist or did she want me to help her find the Imodium to assist with her apparent issue,
but on this day apparently, I had self-control.
Having self-control really takes a bite out of my fun.

I’m still very confused by it all and it’s the last thing I would think of hoarding. 
Food? Sure.
Medicine? Yeah.
Wine? Absofreakinglutely.
Toilet paper? Not even on my radar.

If anyone could clarify, please let me know.

Bueller?  Bueller? 

Last night as I was almost finished with dinner (the chores!)
I said to the Coach, can I still have ice cream if I don’t finish my chicken? (I told you I’m 12)
Oh, nevermind, we don’t have any ice cream.
His response: I’ll take you out for ice cream, but you have to stay in the car so you don’t scare anyone.
My people.  

I decided I didn’t really want ice cream, although the prospect of having it delivered to the car was appealing.

I already shared two nonsensical posts this week and I was thinking that was enough, but this one’s for you, Kari.
*holds bud light up in the air*
Wait, I don’t drink beer.

Wishing everyone a healthy weekend doing something fun and by fun, I don’t mean hoarding paper products.

Bee sweet.
Bee healthy.
Bee a good human.
Damnit.

XOXO

The one where I complain about overly excited people!!

A few posts back I was complaining (shocker) about the overuse of exclamation points. I believe I might have scared (or scarred) a few of you thinking that you overuse them too.
You don’t.
I’m sure this post will make me sound b*tchy, but please don’t hate me. 

And I had to add them to the title too because I’m wearing my sassy pants today.

This is what I was talking about, I copied these from the Facebook:

Happy Birthday Becky!!!! The big 21!!!
I just still can’t believe my baby is 21!!
Hope you have a wonderful day!!! 
You are such a beautiful young woman, 
You are kind, helpful, so very caring to everyone!! I’m so very proud to be your Mom! All your accomplishments, all your hard work, so much ahead for you!! I can’t believe you are almost a senior in College!! Love you!!!


I miss my Harley! Only gone 6 months but I think of her every day!

She may have saved our lives! 
RIP Harley!

If you had to purchase exclamation points, these peeps would be BROKE. 















There is a time and a place for everything though:

Punctuation saves lives: there’s a meaningful difference between ‘Duck’ and ‘Duck!’


But, much like the little boy who cried wolf:


“There is really only one rule when it comes to the exclamation mark: don’t use it. This is an exaggeration of course! In fact, rare usage is the point: the Chicago Manual of Style says the exclamation mark ‘should be used sparingly to be effective.’”




















Did you know that September 24th is National Punctuation Day? 
Me neither, we should celebrate with a margarita though. 




That’s it for my complaints today. 

Wait, I take it back, I’m gonna complain about myself. 
Yesterday marked FOUR weeks that I started with my flu symptoms. 
The cough hasn’t left me. It slowed down a bit, but it refuses to vacate my body.
Guess how I was feeling yesterday? 
C*R*A*P*P*Y
I coughed/choked most of the night. Am I having a relapse? Is it the common cold? 
Dr. Suz also wonders if it’s a sinus infection. 
Don’t even mention the C-word that I’m sick of hearing. *dusting off my shank*

I’m sure I’ll live, but I’m ready to feel healthy again. 
I mean, I’m ready to feel healthy AGAIN!!

I’m far from being an English major. More like a grammar minor? 
Nevermind, I’m over 21. 
Does it bother you when I change fonts? Or when I use italics? How about when I refer to Facebook as The Facebook? 
I used to be guilty of using too many ellipses…
Now….I’m trying to wean myself from them…
…..it’s difficult because they are so addicting…

Anything you feel the need to get off your chest today?  
I’m also talking to YOU way in the back who never comments; I know you have something to say. 

TGIF; choking and mothering

This video sums up motherhood accurately. 

True story, I was watching this video, took a sip of water and then proceeded to get ‘choked up’ by the sentimental-ness of it all and proceeded to REALLY choke for a good minute.
*sigh* My flu cough is hanging on for dear life.
Mind you, the Coach, nor the dogs got up to check on me.
I’M OK OVER HERE; NOT DYING!

I touched on it a while ago, that I’ve been updating and de-cluttering the girls playroom so the Coach could have a home office. It’s almost finished and I was in there yesterday removing non-sentimental items such as Lolo’s 247 books on psychology, criminal minds, ethics, crime, and criminal justice and that sort of stuff. (she has a house, she can hoard those books there)

Don’t you love it when you take a trip down memory lane and then get all tripped up on the memories?

My heartstrings were tugged just by dusting the book collection and remembering ALL the nights of reading together. I would start in one room reading to one girl, the coach in the other room reading to the other, then we would swap. Sometimes, when Grandparents or friends were visiting, they also had ‘reading’ time in the girls’ rooms.
I started reading to the girls when they were 6 months old. Every.single.night until perhaps 7th or 8th grade.
When they got older, sometimes we would read magazines, catalogs, anything really. It wasn’t so much the reading part, it was the ‘togetherness at the end of-the-day part.’

Then I remembered how many times we put together the Monarch puzzle (and others); this was way before I even thought about raising butterflies as I was busy raising humans. I wish I knew how many times it was put together and taken apart only to put back together…..eleventythousand times? 

I found a started journal (I’ve found many of these over the years) and this one, in particular, cracked me up; A page in Lolo’s Harry Potter Journal. 

24 hours and 9 minutes wearing PJs.
I sent a screenshot to our family text and she replied: “Oh, I’ve definitely beaten that by now” 

Motherhood IS such a blessing. I can’t imagine my life other than being a mother to my two amazing young women; but like I said earlier this week, I wish I had been less anal-retentive and MORE relaxed.
I suppose that is the gift you get when you become a grandparent; the ‘I don’t get upset about anything’ mode.

Happy Friday Y’all. 
We’ve no big plans aside from the Coach coaching some college softball, seeing a few college basketball games together with friends and Suz hopefully working in her garden/caterpillars/butterfly stuff and the never-ending laundry, etc.
We actually had two days of winter this week; it’s awesome to turn off the a/c for a few days.
I’ve still not turned on the heat in 2020, actually, I don’t think I put it on in 2019 because Florida.

Whatcha’ doing this fine weekend? 
XOXO

Dodging a big bug bullet

This happened two weeks ago before the flu found me and before the water leak in the guest room.*sigh*

We’ve been slowly converting the kid’s old playroom to Coach’s home office. (he could have shared my huge office with me, but nevermind, we need our space)
This led me to start out on a decluttering tare; you know how the age-old fable of “If you give a mouse a cookie”….
I started cleaning out the playroom closet, which led to moving things from the big linen closet to the smaller linen closet and to items being donated. (wait, is it tare or tear?)
Which led me to move some items from the under-counter cabinets in the kitchen to the big linen closet.
And that’s when I found them.
I picked up my two nesting collectible Longaberger baskets that were handed down to me from my MIL when she downsized her home about 5 years ago.

Pic of the larger basket, now living outside while being monitored

I haven’t used the baskets in about 2 years, but they were special to me as I’d longed to be able to purchase them myself back in 2003 when my friend had a Longaberger home party. (we were poor, but we were proud )
My heart sunk when I saw the dust in the bottom of the big bowl that was coming from the bottom of the smaller bowl.
My heart sunk further when I saw the two little white bugs eating away.
My brain saw $$.
My brain remembered the new roof we put on last year
And the new a/c unit.
And the new hot water heater.
And all the new landscaping and trees.

I remembered all the work we had to do to empty our rental condo last year before it was treated for termites.
I texted my exterminator with a video of the bugs and he confirmed that they were termites.
I shuddered. My skin crawled.
He gave my number to a specialist and they called me within a few hours that night and scheduled an investigation for the next day.
My young and sweet termite specialist did a thorough look all through the house, attic and the property then deemed us to be very lucky. He said: When I saw the video of the termites, I was afraid for you because I thought your home would be infested. 
Turns out the termites were ONLY in that one basket.
Did you know that termite eggs can stay dormant for many, many years? 
You’ll never sleep again, will you?
I asked my MIL  (Hi Sue!) if they ever had termites in the old house, and the answer was no.
But, I can only assume that they had possibly the start of termites and didn’t know they were there, then the house was sold.
I’m still freaked out a bit by it all. Mostly because if I hadn’t been on a cleaning tear/tare, I might not have picked up/looked at the baskets for another few years. By then, they might have eaten the entire wood cabinet.
I loved that beautiful bug basket.

Stand up and look at those car tattoos.

It might sound like I’m whining about nonsense because I am. 
I know that in life we all get to make our own choices on how we live/act/handle/project/do life but really, it would be so much better if everyone did as I do.      *giggle giggle*

Example #753
Car tattoos.
Why?


And why the heck so many? Is this a ploy to distract me, because it really worked. Congratulations.

Like I told my girls eleventy thousand times, that’s gonna leave a mark. 
Years ago I recall having a very lengthy conversation while traveling in the car with the Coach and both our girls about bumper stickers. 
None of us comprehend the concept. But then again, we might be weird. 
I might have been the only Mom who didn’t put the “My child is an honor student” sticker on her white suburban back in the day even though we know my girls were (unlike their Mom) honor students. 



And since I’m ranting and raving. 
Wait, that was just one rant OR one rave? 


When you see someone slouched over, don’t you want to run over and push their back IN and their shoulders back?
{Did you just straighten up?}
Let’s be real though, I’m not running anywhere, but I’ve contemplated it just because it gets on my nerves and it hurts my back to see this. 
On occasion, after a few hours at my computer,  I’ve found myself hunched over before and I actually leave my body and see myself from across the room and wow-that looks so uncomfortable Suzanne! 
Straighten up and get your act together woman. Also, I should not leave my body so often in case I get lost out there.  

Now that I got all that off my back (!!) I feel a bit better. 
You know I’m just pulling your leg hairs…I’m really a ray of freaking sunshine. 

Any grievances you’d care to share with the class? 
Wishing everyone a great weekend doing something fun while having the best posture ever. 
XOXO

Quiet your brain woman!

I was gifted with a massage gift card for my birthday and I redeemed it this week.
IT was glorious. The young lady had magic hands and I enjoyed it a LOT.
At this particular spa (new to me) they have you fill out a questionnaire first giving you choices to particular items:
Choose your music type with examples of ocean sounds, nature, etc…
Then choose your conversation type: NO conversation, lots of conversation or conversation ONLY if initiated by me.
I chose the latter and my awesome masseuse (Tatyana) followed my limited conversation desire.
Oh, how I wish there was a choice for me to choose to STOP my brain from running endlessly for the entire duration of my massage.
How does one do that? I’ve tried meditation practices before, but it does not seem to work for me.
Suz: Ok brain, stop. We’re gonna really relax this time.
Brain: Did you water the trees this morning? 
I can’t remember if I paid the insurance bills. 
When will we have a visit to Lolo on the calendar? 
What should I make for dinner? Gosh. some days I wish I didn’t need to eat. 
Did the Coach say he has softball tonight or was that for tomorrow? 
Ohhh…wow. She’s working my calves and they’re tender. Why does Jon insist on me doing calve exercises, when I keep telling me that my calves are DONE. 
Lawd, I hope I remembered to shave my legs this week. 
I wonder if my electrician will show up and help a sister out with her lighting issues this weekend. 
I can see how someone with tinnitus could lose their freaking minds.  
I should probably contact my pressure washing guy soon about the driveway. 
How are my peeps in the Bahamas getting along? 
Oh, all the puppies and cats; so many homeless animals. And people. It breaks my heart thinking of all they are enduring. I bet they’d really enjoy a massage right now. 
Does Callie seem sad? I wonder if she actually misses Max. 


I can’t even really take myself away from the brain noise for one hour, much less one minute.
But, I’ll try again…hopefully soon. 😉

And, the answer was NO, I didn’t shave my legs this week. Poor Tatyana!

{If only I could chill as well as Callie}

Have a great weekend!

Bee good.
Bee quiet.
Bee in the moment.  (I wish!)

XoXo