Eyebrow, You Brow, We All Brow

When I hinted last week at my need to share about my eyebrows, I was pleasantly surprised by how many of you were eager to discuss. (Nicole, I actually belly laughed at your comment) So, I figured that was all I needed to actually write the post.

Let’s Start with My Eyebrow Horror Story.

Picture this: Suz’s first day of 10th grade. I’m about 4’10 and I weigh no more than 80lbs. Awkward turtle with zero wardrobe compared to my peers. My brother Mark tells me as I’m getting ready that I need to clean up my unibrow. (I didn’t have a unibrow, but there were some stray hairs) He handed me a disposable razor and said: Here, use this to clean it up.

I took one swipe down the not.so.middle of my brows which took out the stray hairs and a good portion of my right eyebrow.

IF I COULD TURN BACK TIME.

What a way to start my not.gonna.be.awkward.this.year at school. My friends with straight brothers had no idea the fun I went through with him giving me terrible perms and bad eyebrow advise. I wish there was photographic evidence because I was something to behold for the first few weeks of my sophomore year; I did not have school pics that year.

EVIDENCE OF EYEBROWS A FEW YEARS AFTER RAZOR-GATE

My glamour shot photo from Beauty School. Can you even see my eyebrows with all that eyeshadow? No.you.can’t.

Through the years I did light plucking to keep my brows at bay without making any real damage. I did a lot of careless things as a young woman, but thank goodness I never over-plucked. For a time in my 30’s/40’s I would get my brows waxed just to keep them clean. When I was coming up on fifty I realized that waxing was overkill because my brows didn’t grow that much and all they required was light plucking on my part; no razors thank you very much.

It was shortly after turning fifty when I noticed in photos, I appeared to have little to NO brows. But when I looked in the mirror, it seemed like they were there, as they have always been. But obviously they, unlike my thighs and demeanor were thinning and getting lighter.

I would use tinted gels if we were going out for a special occasion and there would be photographic evidence. I’ve also been taking hair/nail vitamins for quite a while without much fanfare. Recently I invested in Revitalash. I honestly can’t say anything good or bad because I took my NEXT STEP before really giving that a chance.

Taking The Microblading Plunge

I’d been contemplating having Microblading for over a year, and the nail in the eyebrow coffin was when I saw my bestie Kelly a few months ago and she had this done without conferring with me. She lives on the East Coast, so occasionally she does things without letting me know, but still…

Her brows looked great. I did some research and found someone in my area who has been doing it a long time and had over 500 great reviews.

I made my appointment for Microblading and mentally prepared myself for this because the title of this procedure has BLADE in it. Did you notice that part?

Really though, my blade lady numbed the area and I felt nothing. Zilch. Zero pain. She drew the outline of my soon-to-be brows after measuring my crooked ass face. Woo. It looked like a LOT was going to be filled in, but I suppose when I didn’t have much to start with anything looked like a lot.

She made tiny little cuts along the drawn out areas and filled them in with ink. I was told to not have any caffeine, wine, vitamins, etc prior to this; you know, anything good that thinned out my blood. She was actually having a hard time filling in my left brow more than my right and she said that was common; that is the side where our heart is and there is more blood flow. And we all know how EXTRA LARGE my heart is. ♥️

She told me when all is said and done to not get them wet for 3-5 days. Me: Is it three? or is it five? I went with five. Which meant I couldn’t sweat, which meant I couldn’t work-out or walk to the mailbox because each of those activities involve me sweating.

Just before my procedure and right after. I hope you know how much I despise taking photos of myself, especially sans makeup; I did this for you.

What I didn’t fully understand prior was that you go through a few ugly phases while healing and you don’t get the full color/look until six weeks later when you have a touch up appointment.

Photo borrowed from here.

The first few days I couldn’t pass a mirror without surprising myself. They seemed SO dark, so BIG, so Groucho Marx. Even the Coach kept staring at them…he said he wasn’t, but I know he was.

Do you ever watch The Walking Dead? You know, with all the zombies. Sometimes they’ll be walking around willy nilly and a body part (fingers, leg, arm) just falls off, but they keep going. Well, there were a few days where I would walk by the mirror, take a glance and see part of my brow just hanging there, willy nilly. For real. They were scabbing up and falling off. It was SO hard to not just rip off the dangling bits, but I didn’t want to ruin all that I’d gone through. Within 12 days, they looked pretty normal and I’d gotten used to them. Although, the left one does need more fill-in than the right one; I have an appointment in October to have them touched up.

The procedure is supposed to last 12-24 months depending on your skin type, how much you sweat, etc…so I’m guessing mine will last 4 months. KIDDING, I’d better get two years out of these brows. I was in her chair for just over two hours, but part of that was us talking about it and the numbing part. Overall it was an easy procedure and depending on how long it lasts, I’d probably do it again.

My hair also got a little attention between the ‘just after and 20 days’. After my upcoming touch up, I believe my brows will be a little bit darker, but not by much.

I never in my life imagined that I would give my eyebrows a second thought. What a time to be alive.

Do you think I’m crazy? Don’t answer that.

Have you been microbladed? Were you taught to over-pluck your eyebrows and are now eyebrow bald?

XOXO

Things I ponder, remember and oversay

What will it be like to wear a real bra again?

I’m dreading that because sports bras are now my life and my preference.

Can we ban underwires for eternity? 

***

As I’m writing this there is a set of cardinals frolicking in and around the oak tree outside my office window. Chatting, eating worms. (better not be my butterfly caterpillars!)

One morning, a few weeks ago I was out walking the yard with the dogs while sipping a cup of coffee; the sun had come up and was kind of blinding me as I looked towards the back of our property.

Up in a cypress tree, there was a LOT of chirping and movement; I could see the outline of about 25-30 birds.

Since the sun was in my eyes, at first I couldn’t tell what flavor they were.

IMG_8416
Said tree minus birds and blinding sun because I didn’t have my phone on me.

It took me a minute or two and I realized they were ALL cardinals. A whole conclave of them congregating before they started their day.

swoon

I always have several around the yard, but I’ve never seen this many at once.

You know how people like to say that Cardinals represent your loved ones who’ve passed?

Well, that morning a large portion of my Ancestry DNA was visiting me; the whole fam-damily.

*I looked it up after first writing this today and a group of Cardinals is referred to as a college, conclave, radiance or Vatican; when I first wrote this I referred to them as a SLEW of cardinals. I’m so slewpid.* 

 

***

I refer to my critters as ‘pumpkin’ and ‘pumpkin pie’ way too much.

Max, Callie, newly eclosed butterflies.

My mom used to refer to me as her pumpkin when I was a kid; I never got it.

Apparently, now, I’ve GOT IT.

My other overused love phrases are sweetheart, boo-bear, sugar britches, sweet cheeks,

What phrase do you oversay?

XO

Hey, soul sister

After doing my spellcheck on this post, I realized it’s all over the place directionally, but I’m gonna leave it as is.

Unless you live under a rock, you’ve heard about the 23 & me or the Ancestry.com DNA tests.
It’s pretty interesting, isn’t it? A lot of us are connected to people that we don’t know and probably won’t ever know.
The girls and I did the ancestry.com DNA tests back in 2018. The Coach decided to NOT do it because the government will have too much information and could frame him for a crime one day.
I’m kind of kidding, but kind of not kidding. 
I was secretly hoping to find an unknown biological sister or brother out there, but damnit to heck, my parents apparently weren’t out there willy nilly having children and not claiming them. Thoughtless. 
I could use a Sister or Brother.

If you’re new here, you don’t know that I had a brother; Mark. He passed away in 1990 at the age of 25 ( I was 21) from AIDS. You know, before the Medical community could even try to remedy the disease as people were just losing their shit if they thought you might have AIDS and that you could catch it by being in the same room with someone with AIDS. It was horrible for Mark; he’d barely begun his life and it was taken from him.

Suz and Mark at our Dad’s 2nd wedding. Don’t we look thrilled? 

So, it would have been nice to have another sibling (I’d prefer a cure) to help with those years of Marks illness, then to have a sibling two years later when my dad suddenly became sick and died within 11 days from cancer or to have one help with the trauma/drama after my father died because of his very new third wife who turned out to be a liar, coke abuser, and just all-around bad person. (I should write a post about accidentally seeing her on Maury Povich spewing lies)

Mark and Dad; approx 1988-89

That was a long way to get around that I wish I had another sibling.

I digress….the point of this post is that, well, I can’t really mention any names to go with the point of this post. Hmmmm….here goes:
Someone that I know very well, has found out in the last few years that he/she has a 1/2 sibling. There won’t be anything to come of it, because this half sibling’s Mother’s dying wish was for him to never know his biological father because he was raised by a man who wants to only be known as his father.
Get it? 

But now, since the DNA websites are all the rage, there is another family member that has popped up. A 1st cousin for someone that I might be very close with.
This cousin has contacted several members of someone’s family and we pretty much know it to be 100% true, but the biological parent refuses to take the DNA test. (ass!)
By the way, both of these people have popped up in Lolo and Lindsay’s DNA as matches.

The Coach and I were discussing how frustrating it must be, to not know your family history.
 Good, bad or otherwise; my childhood was far from ideal, more dysfunction than function, but at least I know why I am who I am.
Do you remember the old saying: You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have the facts of life, the facts of life. 
Wait, that’s not what I meant, but that was a great show. {Tootie!}

I suppose you never know what something like that really feels like (not knowing your history) if it’s not your story. I can empathize a lot of feelings, but not that one.
On the other hand, shared  DNA does not always mean family. 

Sometimes I wish we’d adopted and added to our family when the girls were younger; that way they would have more siblings and we could be a part of a good adoption story. Like a Two-Fer.
Please don’t advise that it’s not too late, because it is. We’re completely spoiled with our freedom of travel now that the kids have flown the nest.

Reading this again, I should divulge that I had a step-sister for many years; her Mom and my Dad were married (the second marriage where Mark and I are so ecstatic up there) for 9 years. She and I are not real close, but we do talk on the phone on occasion and via Facebook; she’s had a train wreck type of life And blames our childhood on her bad decisions. Ummmmm….we lived in the same house girlie for many of our years. She actually appreciates when I give her good advice even though I’m pretty harsh with the truth. She wouldn’t be the one I would call if I needed sisterly advice or help take care of a family member. 

Luckily for me, I have several friends whom I consider soul sisters; for that, I am blessed.

Have any of you taken the test and found some new leaves nuts in your family tree? 
Was anyone able to follow my rambling mind today? 

Things I don’t want to see or hear or have people do.

Much like the sun damage from my youth, I need to get some things off my chest.

Prepare yourself for ComplainaPalooza 2020


Airport or restaurant check-ins on Facebook. 
Some peeps JUST post the check-in as their status. 
No one cares. Literally, NO ONE CARES.


I understand posting a pic of yourself with your people at a restaurant, or the airport because you’re excited about a trip, that is acceptable. (to me, but this is my blog, so my rules). 

DO not check-in. Not one person cares.




Honestly, I could go on all day about my FB complaints, but it’s futile. I just avoid FB when peeps annoy me.  For example, when someone shares 147 pictures from their afternoon at Chic Fil A having lunch with a friend. 

Has anyone heard of sharing just the highlights? 

Phrases that have run their course: 
*Current situation
*The struggle is real
*Said no one ever

One that has bothered me since the day I was born; I think I came out of my Mother’s lady 
kitchen being bothered about this one.
When you’re on the phone and you are giving someone your phone number or 
credit card number and as you are verbalizing said numbers (if you even pause for a 
second) they say OK, but they say OK WHILE YOU’RE TRYING TO MOVE 
ONTO THE REST OF THE DIGITS and then they don’t get the correct digits 
because they are saying OK while you’re trying to give them the digits. 


And exclamation points.
I mean, exclamation points!!! 
On texts, emails or notes written on homemade vellum paper delivered via 
messenger pigeons. 
We’re swimming in the sea of exclamation points. Are we really that excited? Are we angry? 
Are we cheerleaders? 
And it’s not just Millenials; I’ve corresponded with people in their 70’s. 
Why is everyone so darn excited when I thought most of the country was depressed.
Wait, maybe that’s just all the RX commercials I see. 

Ads on blogs. 
They slow the page load to the speed of smell. 
I understand you’re trying to make a few bucks; generally, a blog with ads is not one that
I’m going to enjoy so as soon as I see ads, I’m out. 

*Drops mic and heads to the laundry pile*


I’m sure you’re thinking now, wow, that Suz seems so nice and pleasant, and today she’s full 
of crap complaints.
Well, you’re right. 
But, once I purge my complaints, it’s all good in the hood. 

I’m Susie Sunshine once again, at your service. 

C’mon. YOU know you’ve got something to get off your chest; purging is good for the soul. 
XO