In The Garden With Suz; Just A Pinch Of Murder, But A Lot Of Organic.

My friends who reside in the cold tundra will be surprised to know that January, February, and March are some of my best gardening months way down here in SW Florida. The air is cooler and the sun doesn’t feel like hellfire.

The bees can’t get enough of the purple salvia and I can’t get enough of watching them buzz around the blooms.

My giant milkweed plant is being devoured by Monarch Caterpillars and that is a sight that always delights me.

Can you see all the little cuties?

I also have lots of potted herbs, tomatoes, herbs, sweet peppers, and herbs. Did I mention I have lots of herbs? Also, I tried my hand at some orange tomatoes this year. I’m sure there is a ‘real’ name for them, but let’s just call them orange tomatoes with a third nipple. Or first nose? What in the organic hell is happening out there?

I don’t use any fertilizer or pesticides. Which is sometimes an issue….I have some nasty weevil bugs that are eating my three citrus trees. When I googled how to rid them, the only answer was to spray pesticides on them. WHAT THE HELL? On my citrus? If you recall, we planted the citrus FOR the giant swallowtail butterflies. There is no way in hell I’m spraying those trees. Plus the lemons & limes they have been gifting us nonstop is amazing, I never knew how much I used citrus while cooking. I ALMOST feel like Ina Garten running out there collecting my citrus and herbs for a meal. Aren’t chicken nuggets better with a squeeze of lime and a dash of sage?

One of my Giants from 2020; see some good shit did happen.
See what the little turds have been doing?

So, what do I do? I go out once a day wearing ONE glove because I’m the Michael Jackson of my ‘hood. (Not in the molesty way though) and I hunt down the bugs and squish as many of them as I can find/reach.

The culprit is about to be murdered by Suzanne/Michael Jackson.

Let me tell you, it’s down right satisfying. Even MORE fun? When I find two bugs fornicating and I SMASH two at once. I can’t share pics of that because it’s rated R and even more R for the murdering part. I’m saving that for a Quinten Tarantino Film.

So, if you happen to drive by our home and hear strange sounds out back, it’s just me conversing with caterpillars & butterflies, picking weird tomatoes, or murdering citrus eating bugs. Pay nooooo attention and refrain from calling the authorities. Please.

So, anything growing in your home OR yard. How about your refrigerator? You know, we always called those ‘science experiments’. I still have part of a Tiramisu cake from Christmas Eve that I keep forgetting to remove from the garage fridge on garbage day. *sigh* It still looks exactly the same….I’m guessing it’s NOT organic.


I’ve made a terrible, terrible techie mistake. But perhaps one day you can call me The Tiger Queen.

I had a mini-breakdown last week; actually, I have had several over the past month or so. I should learn that when things are going well in my technology life, just leave them that way. The story of my frustration is a long one, I don’t want to bore you with ALL the details, but I’ve learned a hard lesson.

*bangs head against wall*

design desk display eyewear
Photo by on

A little timeline of my blogging career. Wait, is it a career if instead of making money, you might actually spend money?

  • 2008 I signed up for Blogger (
  • 2019 Purchased my own domain while still using the blogger platform (
  • April 2020-Feeling ballsy, or perhaps it was the pandemic, I moved over to because I was sick of bloggers bullshit. Also, sick of everything because pandemic. (temp blog:, until I could move my domain over) I was loving Ease of adding in photos, videos, gifs. IT was a glorious time in my blogging life. Glorious.
  • August 2020-I might have lost my mind because I was so happy with and The ONLY thing I couldn’t get it do to was to copy protect my photos and I thought that might be a good thing. I thought I’d go even bigger (or home) and get myself involved in the (I can add a plugin to protect my pics) which is a bigger deal because it needs a host; I chose Bluehost as my host because I’d read they were great; they were helpful; they were easy. ( and blogger ARE their own hosts) I moved my domain there and immediately hated it. It was hard y’all. Within a day I called and said I wanted to cancel my bluehost account. Guess what? They aren’t easy. They aren’t nice. Since I’d already moved my domain twice, I could not move it again for 60 days. So, I’ve been in hosting jail. The beds here suck.
  • My get out of jail card is on October 6th. So I’ll try to switch my domain back sometime on that day or shortly after back to my site. I’m scared. I have a bit of PTSD with all the moving of domains, profiles, emails, etc….PRAY FOR ME.
  • If I disappear altogether, you’ll know why.

Now, onto pretty and pleasant things that don’t make me bang my head against a wall.

I just realized I’ve not shared anything butterfly related in a while. Have you lost sleep? I’ve been all about ‘my bones, chicken tenders, pelicans, hating olives, and possibly turning into a Georgia peach, sucky blog’ lately.

While in GA (you’re a peach Suzanne!) Kelly and I noticed what we suspected were Giant Swallowtails from a distance, but upon closer inspection they were Tiger Swallowtails. And they were aplenty. Did you hear us squeal?

Guess what butterfly I DO NOT have in my yard at home? TIGER SWALLOWTAILS! I was so excited I might have pee’d a little, which really isn’t that unusual.

Sadly, they don’t have butterflies year round like I do here because the weather actually changes in GA, which really is the reason I want to go there, so I’ll have to suck it up buttercup. Aren’t they lovely? If I raise Tiger Swallowtails, I can change my name to the Tiger King.

Wait, maybe Tiger Queen would be better because bad hair, bad piercings, the weird relationships….ughh.

So, has anyone felt like throwing their computer out the window lately?

**Deep breaths Suzanne, deep breaths**

Happy Friday y’all. Or in my world, you’ll probably not see this until Tuesday. See YOU next Tuesday. I just made myself giggle.


Where’d you go, Suzi Q? Life-changing realities, falling down & yard activities.

I fell off the blogosphere for most of last week because I’ve been a busy azz bee, much busier than usual doing something that I never expected to be doing. Y’all we did something very exciting and kind of spontaneous; who doesn’t make life-changing decisions on a whim? I’m gonna have to blog about it at some point, but not just yet. Don’t ya hate it when people are vague? Me too!

My hair. Doesn’t it always go back to our hair?

A few weeks ago my stylist came to the house and gave me a BIG cut. Several inches were removed after 20 weeks of neglect, I needed it. (She’s not going back to a salon to work anytime soon because she’s not putting her kids in daycare.) Back in real life, I would get a trim and highlights every six weeks. So, 20 weeks felt like a lifetime. I’ve made a life-altering (different than the one above) decision to NOT highlight my hair. Do you know what I found out during all this ‘not highlighting my hair’? I’m not as naturally blonde as I thought. I’ve identified as blonde my entire life. But, I just realized I’m closer to brunette than blonde. This.was.a.revelation.

I was explaining this to Lolo and she said “Mom, it’s 2020, you can IDENTIFY as anything you want.” So, I’m going to now identify as a cat. A brunette cat. MeOw.

brown tabby cat on pink textile
Photo by Elina Sazonova on

I might hate it though and revert. NOT reverse being a cat, reverse being a brunette.

So, I’ve been so preoccupied with our life-changing decision, that I was the last person in Florida to know there are two named hurricanes heading in the direction of the Gulf of Mexico, which is right down the road. Suzanne, wake up and pay attention to your surroundings! I’m sure it will be fine. Everything will be fine. *I checked and we are fine, only rain and some wind, NO sighting of Jim Cantore will be expected. Fingers crossed*

Yesterday I was walking from the backyard towards the house with a few citrus leaves in my hand to feed my giant swallowtails INSIDE (like a normal person) when I got a text on my Apple Watch, I glanced down at the same time I was supposed to take a big step UP to the raised concrete driveway…but being distracted, I didn’t step UP quite as high as I should have and I caught my flip flop on the concrete, flung forward onto both hands and knees. Jiminy Christmas! I glanced around, thankful that we had fencing and not a soul witnessed my clumsiness. Suzanne, wake up and pay attention to your surroundings!

I’m fine. Everything is fine. I just scraped up my knees and one hand. But, there goes my hand and leg modeling contract, $$ right out the window.

Speaking of butterflies and orgies, because that is often a hot topic.

What in the procreation is happening?

I found these swingers couples getting Jiggy-wit-it on Saturday. Do you remember the upside down kiss from the SpiderMan movie? Well, they’re not kissing.

I almost put ‘yard porn’ in the title of this post, but was scared to see who found me just because of that phrase.

I’m gonna have to change my blog rating to R because of all the butterfly porn. Speaking of which, a few months ago a friend texted me saying she saw two monarchs fornicating and she didn’t realize that they did such a thing; I wanted to respond with ‘you’re so pretty’ because that’s my normal response, but she really is one of the most intelligent people I know. But still, I suppose if you don’t think about butterflies doing the dirty, then you don’t know.

It’s always a critter orgy around here, lizards, snakes, butterflies. They HAVE NO SHAME and act like I can’t see them.

So, that’s all I have to get off my chest today. Turns out, this post is

What about you? Any change in identification that you’re considering?