The Great Grape Debate

I’m usually talking about silly things here, but today, today it is serious.

Ok. It ain’t serious, but it’s an important topic. In my house.

I love grapes. Red, seedless, crisp, cold grapes. I shared a while ago how I almost choked on a grape; this isn’t a super rare occurrence because I eat grapes. A lot. And you thought I only drank them.

There is NOT one time that I purchase grapes, bring them home, wash them and then put them in a bowl that I don’t remember this incident:

Scene: Our duplex kitchen, circa 1987-88? I’d returned from the grocery store and was cleaning grapes, then placing them in a bowl; the Coach (my boyfriend) said to me:

You know, my Mom takes ALL the grapes off the stems and puts them in a bowl.

I looked down at MY bowl of grapes that were still ON the stem, said nothing and put them in the refrigerator.

That was how many years ago? 33? 34?

I will not de-stem all of my grapes. I refuse.

A few weeks ago the Coach pulled out the bowl of grapes and started to de-stem them.

Me thinking: Has he lost his ever loving mind?

Woooo, Buddy. Watcha doing there? I like them in clumps, with stems. That way I can grab a clump, walk away and snack. There’s a method to my madness.

I mean, really. He has a lot of nerve; I COULD have had my attorney on the line before the bowl was back in the fridge.

So tell me. Do you de-stem your grapes?

Do you think I don’t want to do it because my MIL does? I adore my MIL, so that isn’t the reason, but I will admit the first time he said it, it stung.

I really do like them in little clumps for snacking ease and I don’t want to willy nilly grab at 89 grapes to get a handful.

Your friend Suz who can’t forget silly conversations about grapes on stems for her entire life, but forgot what we had for dinner last night.

FOUR? Scary Weather, Scary Neck, Silly Conversations

I have professed before that I do not watch the news. It just isn’t good for my well being. That being said, I turned on the TV the other night and before I could get to my beloved and safe HGTV, the world news was there trying (and succeeding) to get to my psyche in the first 4 seconds. I heard blah, blah, yada, yada, A FOURTH dose might be needed.

EFFING FOUR?

Have ya’ll seen anyone running around with their pants on fire because the elusive dangled carrot on a string keeps being pulled from us.

Like you, I’m tired of it all.

END OF RANT

I saw a trio of happy dolphins this weekend, dolphins never lie so they are my favorite.

The Coach and I are still feeling the affects of our exposure. I thought after five days or so that I would be golden. Reality: not.so.golden. But we are getting there. I think.

Thursday, Friday and Saturday we had the most glorious weather. I got in some nice walks and even visited the beach for a few minutes. Vitamin D. Vitamin Sea.

Sunday Morning: Not.So.Golden.

Just like I avoid the world news, apparently I also avoid the local news too because yesterday we woke up to a crazy storm with tornado warnings. Me thinking: What is happening...as my phone is going off with a scary siren and the words: SEEK SHELTER!

Me to the Coach: Um, maybe we should close the sliders and windows?

We were fine, but there were several tornado sightings and several did touch down. Sadly, it appears they targeted a trailer park. Can the Trailer Park People get a break?

IN NECK NEWS

The Videographer from Lolo and Nathans wedding sent over a Sneak Peak of wedding snippets. I watched it last night and all the good feeling vibes returned. But you know me. I was aghast when I saw a snippet of myself as I was giving my toast and you’ll be happy that I didn’t even notice my hair.

It was my neck!

GOOD LORD, can you NOT take a video or picture from BELOW me? (we were on a stairway landing)

The Coach and I sat at the counter last night having some tomato soup and makeshift grilled cheese (on English muffins) as I didn’t feel like cooking and we had this conversation about the video:

Me: Holy mackerel, did you see my neck? What the hell man? I contemplated it for a moment. I guess it could be worse, I could have NO neck with my head just sitting on my shoulders. Then every time I needed to turn my head, I’d have to turn my entire body like this. And I showed him for reference in case he didn’t get it.

Him: OR, OR you could have NO eyes to even see the state of your neck.

I thought about his idea for a moment.

Me: Nah, I like my idea better; my choice is no neck at all. I’m keeping my eye balls.

Aging isn’t for sissies. But it sure does beat the alternative and I’m not talking about no eyes or neck.

How about you? Nice weekend? Nice weather? Nice neck?

XOXO

Wrapping Up Wedding Photos, Being The MOB Can Wear A Girl Out & Learning To Live With What Is Now In The Past.

Thank you all for your kind words regarding our ‘sick’ house.

MOB=Mother Of the Bride.

I wanted to share more wedding photos, so I can say I didn’t neglect anyone of the joyous day. Funny how it took so long to plan that magical day and *poof* it’s over. I can say though, I was more ‘present’ for Lolo’s wedding than for ours. That might have something to do with 100 less people. Less is more.

They are the prettiest couple. I can’t take ALL The credit, but I made HER. Ok, I’m gonna take a lot of the credit, because I MADE HER. If you can even imagine it, she is even prettier on the inside.

Nathan’s Mom and I assisted with the Handfasting/binding portion of the ceremony. I had no idea these two were kinky, but then again, they also own several sets of handcuffs, so there I go being naive again. Lauren said they came with the badge and uniform, but I’m not 100% sure.

“I now pronounce you, bound together for eternity you two lovely, selfless weirdos”

I said it before, but the venue was absolutely magical. I thought the kids were crazy for picking a venue two hours from our house, but clearly, they had a vision. Since we were in Tampa, we did as the Tampan’s and had a bonafide cigar roller on site. I didn’t partake since I gave up tampons. I mean, cigars. Hell, I gave up both. Max and Mattis had their own signature drinks; an Old Fashioned (Nathan’s fave) and a Margarita (a nod to my Mom).

You know how they say A Mother’s Work Is Never Done? Well, it is true. On the wedding day, not only did I have to wake up at the ass crack of dawn so my suite could be used for hair and makeup, later I was in charge of reappying Lolo’s lipstick, I also put on her veil, buttoned up her dress, put on her shoes and then, I had to pin on the Coach’s boutonnière before Binding the kids hands together. Truth be told, pinning the boutonniere was harder than it looked, so the photographer did it for me. Hey, I was tired by then!

This day will go down as The Very Best Wedding Ever.

Did you think I’d go through this whole post and not mention my hair? DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME?

I suppose in these photos, it really doesn’t look so bad, so maybe I’m actually getting over something, letting it go as they say. People, I believe that is called Personal Growth and I’d like a Gold-freaking-Star.

Thanks for enjoying the lovely photos with me.

Now what will I have to talk about? Oh, shucks. I’m sure I’ll think of something.

XOXO

Your Friend Suz, The Proudest MOB