She’s Still Kicking, Just Not As High.

Thank you all for your encouragement and well wishes on my post-op post. (say that three times fast) I had my catheter removed and HOLY MACKEREL, it’s awesome to pee unassisted.

Who knew?

Well, you probably all knew.

It’s Me, I’m The Problem

I know I was so excited and started doing housework (pure insanity!) when I first arrived home; in hindsight, I should have been beaten with a wet noodle.

Ahem….Not so surprising, a few days later in the week, I could hardly remove myself from the couch and I totally blame the housework so I’m vetoing all housework for whatever is left of my life.

The no housework statement, sadly is a big fat lie.

I’m taking it easy from here on out. The bare necessities and sadly, one of those is making dinner. Lord, don’t I deserve to be hand fed each day? Would it kill someone to peel my grapes?

Peanut and I have spent a lot of time outside since the weather has been so lovely, thanks to a cold front. Sure, you’re cold as heck but I’m living my best outside life.

I’ve not even had the gumption to read any blogs and I’m sorry about that.

I’ve been so low key, that my smart watch sent me a text stating that my activity level and caloric burn is down compared to normal times. YA THINK? Generally I strength train three days a week and do a HIIT class twice a week. Now, I’m not hitting anything but that proverbial wall.

Funny though, I’ve not been moving as much, eating the same amount, yet I’m losing LBS. Do you think my body is burning calories by internally healing? Or were my organs that heavy? These are the questions I need to ask my Dr. at my follow up appointment.

What does a busy body do when she is forced to rest?

HGTV. Bravo. Apple TV. Netflix, minus the chilling part.

PUZZLE: This was a Christmas gift from my youngest amazing child and I’m almost finished with it.

I GAVE BIRTH TO SHE-MEN.

I had some honey-do’s that were piling up, but my actually Honey has been the Busiest Bee. What I’ve been wanting done are swapping out the areas rugs in our bedroom, dining room and sitting area. I’d ordered them months ago; they’ve been living in my garage. (Callie ruined one of them, Lillie another)

Ya’ll it looked like I had a Rug Store in my garage. You Get A Rug! You Get A Rug!

Lolo wanted to come and visit since I’ve not seen her in a while and I figured her sister would love to come and visit too, while they did the heavy lifting/labor for me since I labored for them all those years ago. (I also fed them dinner, no peeled grapes.)

I honestly thought I’d need to hire a few men to move the heavy furniture, remove the old rugs (9×12 foot, wool, heavy rugs!) and replace with new and put the furniture back…but I gave birth to strong women, so that is what they did along with some help from their Dad.

Coach had the lovely job of taking apart our seventeen year old bed (headboard, side rails, foot board) as a new one will be arriving this coming week. Trying to remove the rug under our bed and replace it was a delicate and hefty movement by the three of them, while I, who can’t currently pick up anything just watched.

Not one complaint from my people, and they said it was actually a fun time. Are they ANGELS Or WHAT?

Anyone think resting was going to be easy? Who’s been forced to do it and did you find it underwhelming?

She’s Back And With Less Baggage. Or More Baggage? Well, At Least A New Purse.

I survived, and quite well if I might brag a little. I believe I’m very fortunate that my full hysterectomy went *mostly* smooth, with one little blip.

Our day started really early with an arrival time of 7:30 am and surgery slated for 9:30. The nurses and staff couldn’t have been lovelier; nurses are ANGELS. I’m sure you already knew that, but I had to say it.

My Dr. was wonderful. Did I tell you the Dr. doing my surgery isn’t my regular GYN, as my regular doesn’t do outside-of-the office stuff? So I chose another well known Dr. in the practice who just so happens to be the daughter of my Dentist, who took care of my teeth for close to 20 years. (he’s retired now) IT’S A SMALL WORLD AFTER ALL.

I had two IV’s because the robot required it. I had a billion questions asked of me by eleventy thousand people. Ok, maybe it was 5 people, but it was early.

There was much debate on whether I needed a pregnancy test before it was taken. I told the nurse that if I were pregnant, I’m naming the baby Jesus and handing it off to one of my girls. She then told me about a 55 year old woman who was in for a procedure, swore she couldn’t be pregnant and the test(s) came back positive. Talk about a nightmare!

I was roofied just before they wheeled me into the operating room, so I don’t remember anything after 9:30. Man, that stuff is GOOD.

If you care to know of some of the stuff that I found weird and unusual:

For this laparoscopic surgery, they put four holes in my belly and fill it with CO2; my Dr. said my belly was as big as if I were 9 months pregnant. (If I have stretch marks, I’m gonna be pissed!) They actually put a light in there so they can see what is happening. I’m starting to picture it all and I don’t like it!

So, one of the biggest pains I’ve had is the gas that they put in me and it’s not in my belly, it’s spread out over my body and I felt most of the pain in my right shoulder and right rib cage. Super weird and uncomfortable. But it started to go away the next day. Occasionally, I’ll feel it creep in for a minute then hide away again.

Another discomfort I’ve had is my neck. It feels like I strained my neck muscles, so I’m guessing that had something to do with the breathing tube they shoved put down my throat.

Of course, my belly was bloated for the first few days; when I normally could pass for 6-8 wks pregnant, I was looking like someone should start planning the shower.

WHOOPSIE & Look How Easy Going I’ve Become.

So, the blip that we had is my Uterus and my bladder became really good friends and they were so attached to each other that my Dr. had to make a small cut into my bladder.

I knew this was something that happened after all my preliminary research and after signing my waivers. When I woke up and Coach told me, I honestly wasn’t surprised or upset. Also, I was on drugs, so look at me all Mello Yellow.

When I had my pre-op with My Dentist’s daughter, she said occasionally other things can get cut while I’m IN there, but whatever it is, I can fix it. I had confidence in her; she stitched up my bladder easily.

She said all my parts looked great. I said: You mean aside from the fibroids and cysts? I suppose she meant NO CANCER.

Instead of getting home around 1 pm as we’d thought we would, we got home at 8pm. Lindsay came by for a few hours to visit and lucky her: she was able to dress her mom from head to toe and walk me around to make sure I had my bearings before checking out of the hospital; practice for my golden years.

I do have to wear a catheter until my bladder heals and I get that out on Tuesday morning. It’s not attractive or comfortable, but it’s doable and I’m rolling with my Little Pee Bag (surely, there’s a real name for it) all over the house and yard.

I’m actually doing it while typing this, so hows that for efficiency?

NOT TRYING TO BE A HERO

It’s Saturday as I write this, my surgery was on Thursday. I’m feeling pretty darn good. My Dr. told me to listen to my body and rest when I should. This morning, my body said: Vacuum up all the dog hair in the living/kitchen/dining room. So I did. I woke up at 5:15 today, so I imagine after my shower that I’ll put myself down for a nap.

*Updated to add on Sunday afternoon, I never did take a nap yesterday and I’m still not overly tired. I have a feeling it will come at some point though.

How about a pic of dogs instead of my Urine Purse? Still not right…

Peanut and my MIL’s dog Kelsie; they’ve been a’ playing.

Just wanted everyone to know I’m alive and well. Thank you all for your well wishes, prayers, positive vibes and good mojo; your care and concern means more to me than you can imagine.

XOXO

Removing Essentials, Preparing To Be Uncomfortable.

On Thursday I had a lovely visit to the hospital and then to my Dr’s office for my pre-op appointments for my oh-so-exciting full hysterectomy set for 3/9.

The RN at the hospital was surprised that I wasn’t on medication. None? None. It makes me wonder, are most women at 55 on meds? When she asked about vitamins and supplements, well, this is where she realized I wasn’t quite so ‘well’. As I listed what I was taking, she was confused on some because she wanted to make sure I wasn’t taking anything that could be considered a Blood Thinner.

They want my blood THICK. Much like my thighs.

I love saying that!

Anyhoo, we couldn’t decipher between thick and thin, so I’m taking NO vitamins and NO supplements and I feel like this is where it will all end for me.

The nurse, as nice as she was, well, she was quite invasive with the questions. I mean, you’re gonna be all UP in my business next week, why so many questions about my personal health and life, Carol. I don’t care to discuss my bowel habits with you; I must draw the line somewhere.

When she asked me if I’d had anything removed before, I was a little confused. Like a baby? Or a body part? She was asking about parts, not humans. Carol, clarify next time.

Anyhoo. I made it through and realized that I’ve lived in this town for 26 years and this is going to be my first ‘stay’ at a hospital. I’ve only been in this hospital once before and it was the emergency room, for someone else. I’ve been skating by, but now it’s all catching up to me.

My surgery will be 3 hours long and my Dr. will be assisted by a Robot. Or the Robot will be assisted by my Dr? Not sure exactly, but it’s a Robotic Laparoscopic Surgery.

I hope the Robot takes my insurance.

I prefer to be comfortable, not uncomfortable.

My Dr explained the RX’s that she called in for me; three of them, and all for pain.

Me: You mean this is going to hurt?

They should send me home the same day, unless there is an issue.

No vigorous workouts or Indoor Sports for six weeks and no driving for 10 days. WHAT IS THERE LEFT TO DO?

I wish I could fast forward a few weeks and skip all the uncomfortableness. The Coach will be here taking care of me along with my sweet MIL, Sue who will come stay for a few days and help with Peanut.

Anyhoo. Nothing else fun or exciting to share with you today.

This photo doesn’t have anything to do with anything, but it’s one of my current crotch orchid bloomers.

I take it back, I guess it is relative.

Until next time.

XOXO

A Not-So-Scary Pet Cemetery And You Get A Voice On My Voice.

Who remembers the Steven King book/movie Pet Semetery? Scared the bejesus out of me. And why did they spell Cemetery with an S? That’s frightening as well.

We’ve lived in this house for 26 years and we’ve buried four cats and four dogs out there. *waves hands towards the back yard*

You know, when you’re young(ish) and placing your beloved pets into the ground, you think you will always remember where you put them.

File that under: Lies I told Myself.

I mean, we know the the general vicinity, but not an exact burial spot.

I had a lightbulb moment after losing both Callie and Lillie in such a short time span to place markers to help us remember. They are in an area that is the New Burial Area. The old burial area is near the pool area; basically we started fresh with no chance to ungrave anyone.

I’d ordered two heavy granite markers for our sweet girls from here and my MIL gave me this sweet flag for Christmas and it’s perfect in our new Cemetery.

The dates I used are from when they lived with us, not their actual birth year since I’m not in possession of their birth certificates and the Florida Bureau of Vital Statistics office won’t return my calls. Asshats.

Instead of showing photos, how about a VLOG?

Why is hearing my voice like hearing nails on a chalkboard? And they weren’t Butterfly Bushes (that’s what I call them) that were removed, the technical term is Fire Bush; but saying my fire bush was out of control doesn’t sound proper on a Tuesday morning.

*Shortly after, Peanut found a dead frog and proceeded to run around with it in her mouth like she’ d just found a billion dollars worth of cookies, with me following.

For a moment there, I envisioned ordering her a Grave Marker as well. KIDDING!

Not sure if I’ll do the VLOG thing again. I used to do them occasionally as they seem easier than trying to take appropriate photographs.

Chime in, please.

Have you buried pets in your yard or do you cremate?

I suppose I should be mindful of pet-free homes…

Have you buried any bodies in your yard?

XOXO