We’re Talking Lizards Again; This Time That Divine One From My Past. AKA: My Jesus Lizard

*I originally shared this post many moons ago, (2010) but I felt that since I just shared my dilemma regarding Anatoli Anole this week, you should know that I don’t loathe all lizards* (thanks Nance for naming the Azzhole)


As a kid, you could find me playing outside all the time; if I weren’t creating shenanigans with the neighborhood kids, I was creating my own adventures. 

I spent hours and hours in our yard unattended or roaming the neighborhood, also unattended.

I loved catching bugs and stray cats, bunnies critters, but catching lizards, well catching lizards was my jam. 

I was proficient at capturing without harming and I loved them so much. I was the self proclaimed lizard whisperer.  

When I was about seven I found this beautiful bright green lizard. He was a gorgeous specimen! 

I believe it was love at first sight for both of us.

He was so docile as he crawled up and down my arms and he loved sitting on my shoulder, like a Parrot lizard. 

He was my constant companion for A Full Day. 

*CUE THE SUZ AND LIZARD FUN MONTAGE*

I had visions of our life together: playing games, reading books, traveling the world.

I found a jar and made him a home and we had our first sleepover; it was epic. 

The next day, I thought it would be a great idea to take him to school with me because surely, he would get lonely at home all alone. (Was I wearing homemade pantyhose? Probably.)

Being the girly tomboy that I was, I put him in my purse and headed for school.

I only shared my new lizard with a few friends that day as I did not want to risk getting into trouble. I’d already hit my quota for classroom spankings. 

Sadly, later that evening, I realized that my lizard had perished. I was beyond crushed because all our hopes and dreams for the future were just as dead as he was.

Maybe it was the the long commute on the school bus that did him in? Maybe living in my purse wasn’t the right environment? Perhaps a diet of grass wasn’t enough? 

Devastated, I buried him in the yard and performed The Eulogy that he clearly deserved.

A few days later I went to pay homage to my now deceased friend and WHAT IIN THE ACTUAL HELL? 

He.Was.Gone.

The burial site was wide open and my lizard had risen from the dead! 

Like Jesus.  

It was a miracle of epic proportions! He lives! He lives! He lives! 

I was elated and for days I looked all over for him, but sadly we were never reunited.

I never forgot our time together though, he was my favorite lizard and could never be replaced. 

 In hindsight, maybe he was not so much ‘Jesus like’ as much as my cats were excellent excavators.

Scan_Pic0018%20(3)

XOXO

Your friend Suz, the critter hoarding hawt mess in the making.

Holy Anole!

A few weeks ago I spied with my little eye something green moving in the oak tree outside my office window.

If I could see it from this distance, through the shutters and screen, I knew it was something out of the ordinary and you bet your sweet bippy I went in for a closer inspection.

Well, isn’t that special? We have lizards galore in Florida. Tons of them outside and some get inside; I swear there might be a Lizard Labor and Delivery in our master bath as I find babies all the time.

But THIS is a different lizard.

I sent pics in our family text thread and Lolo confirmed immediately that this is a Native Anole. (She wasn’t nick-named The Bug Girl as a kid for no reason) I said, I’ve seen anoles before, but never this big. She thought maybe I’d only seen females which can get up to 5″ but the males are 8″. I was thinking this might be a bit bigger than that, but didn’t give it another thought.

Then just two days ago I saw him again through the window and thought to myself that he must have taken up residence in that particular oak tree. No biggie.

On Sunday morning, I noticed something on top of my bird feeder under our cypress tree outside my other office window. Was it a bird? Was it a plane? Nope. It was huge and bright green!

I grabbed my cell phone and asked the Coach to come and see The Lizard. By the time he came to my office, the guy was gone. Man, he was BIG. Much bigger than the one I’d seen twice in the Oak tree and I went outside to locate the Giant.

It took me a minute to find him in the tree; he’s a blender. Can you see his HUGE eyeball? The better to see you with…

Ya’ll, this guy must be a foot long which led me to do a little bit of intel since This Anole reached 8″ and then said: Hold my beer.

INVASIVE IS MY LEAST FAVORITE SPECIES.

(I was today years old that I learned that you always say species and not specie; even in singular form)

In my research this guy is an Knight Anole which is Native to Cuba and invasive. I was curious to see what they eat…and I gasped upon learning: spiders, flies, crickets, small beetles, moths, butterflies, small slugs, worms, ants, and nesting birds. Um, we’re gonna need to enact a diet restriction on my property.

NOT SO FUN FACT: they can grow to 20″.

He didn’t care for my prying eyes…and the sun was bright and for a minute there I could not see where I was supposed to be looking.

Notice how he puffs out his dewlap at me. That either means he wants to fight or mate. Please let it mean fighting.

I also learned today that there is a name for the weird thing is under lizards’ necks. Dewlap.

Well, that’s the nature lesson for today, so excuse me while I try to figure out how to eradicate remove them from my vicinity because guess where butterflies roost at night? In trees. 😩

XOXO

I Like Big Checks And I Cannot Lie, Twinning, and A Spidey Upside Down Smacker.

We had a quick jaunt to the East Coast this past weekend; a mere 20 hours that included giving away some big checks, visiting with our amazing friends and driving through our old stomping grounds.

Boy have things changed. The high school the Coach and I both attended used to be in the middle of Crack Town. Since we’ve left, it’s all cleaned up and seems to be such an affluent area now. We were all: Man, I remember seeing drug deals going down right where the Cheesecake Factory now resides.

GIVE IT AWAY, GIVE IT AWAY NOW

Remember our Songwriters for Vets event we had in June? Well, I say ‘we’, but I’m a teeny, tiny cog in the machine that my husband is driving. Anyhoo, the money was counted and we were able to give a good amount to two different Veteran charities.

I’m getting gas and groceries tomorrow, so I’m gonna need another one of those checks.


Doppelgänger

Linds was assisting a friend in looking for a rescue pup earlier this week and sent this pic (left) to me stating this dog was at Domestic Animal Services and it’s Lillie’s twin.

I mean, it kind of looks like her, but it’s weird seeing ‘her’ with two ears. I knew the dog looked familiar and not just because of Lillie. The day before I saw this dog on our local lost/found dogs FB group.

Don’t you hate it when dogs just ‘wonder’?

I.do.not.need.another.dog.

That being said…

I could.not.stop.thinking.about.this.dog.

But Thank you Baby Jesus because when I looked today, he’s been picked up by his owners.

*phew* *wipes beads of sweat off forehead* *bullet dodged*


Upside Down Nature Porn

I’m so happy I threw that butterfly post together on Monday; you seemed to like it.

You like me, You really, really like me!

I was out perusing the yard yesterday when I saw two Monarchs fighting.

Then it dawned on me, they’re not mad, they’re fighting like a couple in love. ❤️

I know it’s not polite to watch, but I was mesmerized and this reminded me of something.

No, not my honeymoon.

Something else…

And then it dawned on me!

Raise your hand if you felt this was a was a cringy moment then AND now.

So, have you seen any nature porn lately? Goodness, I wonder how many weirdos who will find my blog now that I typed porn twice.

Wait, now I wrote it THREE times!

Someone, help me stop the madness.

XOXO