The Joys Of Marriage; WHAT DID YOU SAY? And I’D Never Survive A Cold Climate Long Term.

The Coach does not have great hearing; it’s not all his fault. He DID work on airplane engines for many years, we’ve attended hundreds of live concerts and also, he’s 55. I have pretty good hearing, but not perfect as I’m {almost} old. For example, I can be two rooms away with our Sonos music playing though-out the house, running the vacuum cleaner and he will talk to me and expect me to hear him when all I hear is what Charlie Brown hears when an adult speaks. Womp womp, womp.

I’ll finish up, come back into the room he’s in, and say: If you were talking to me, I have no idea what you said. He’ll either (1) say, I don’t remember what I said or (2) NOT HEAR ME.

HUH?

I just shake my head and hope he wasn’t saying something really important like we just lost all our money in the stock market or he’s found a younger version of me working at Hooters and they’re in love.

Now picture me sitting directly next to him, and I say something clear-as-a-bell and he doesn’t hear a word. I just shake my head.

Raise your hand if you also do a lot of head shaking.

I was kidding about the Hooters thing; he doesn’t go there because their wings are crap.

Coffee, Coffee Creamer & Not Real Fighting

Saturday night we arrived home after a long and wonderful visit to GA. Goodness, I forgot that we left SO soon after Christmas, and that all our Christmas decor was STILL up. Oh SNAP, those damn elves are sleeping on the job.

Sunday morning around 8am I sauntered into the kitchen and the Coach said: Good morning, I see you have TWO creamers and I have NONE.

{I’m non-dairy because of my *effin* cholesterol issue. This stuff is tasty though}

Whatevs. I explained that when I purchased them, they were in equal numbers and he just consumes his quicker than I do.

With a sassy smile on his face: And you knew that I would use more….ya know Publix opened at 7 am.

Me: My azz wasn’t going anywhere at 7 am.

We love to ‘argue’ like this. If my girls were here they’d say: “you should be nicer to each other, are you getting a divorce?” I would generally reply MAYBE, WHO DO YOU WANT TO LIVE WITH? Which is always funny since they have their own homes.

As a kid I recall objects flying through the house between my Dad & Mom and then my Dad & Step-Mom; (see the common denominator?) ashtrays, shoes, rocking chairs. I remember my dad unhooking the phone from the wall and throwing it INTO the pool because he was tired of its ringing. So, I know real arguing and my girls make me laugh with their silly non-worries. The last thing their dad threw was a party for a charity.

Life is good when you’re married to a smart ass, silly and like-minded fool.

Speaking of Coffee & A Spoiled Suz…Baby, it’s cold inside, so let’s hibernate.

While we were in GA, it was cold. I mean, I knew it was gonna be winter, but being IN winter is different than thinking about winter. (My Canadian friends do not read the rest of this) It was 32-38 at night and with a high of 35-45 during the day. That’s pretty cold for this Florida girl. When I would take Callie for a walk, I had every portion of my body covered. Twice. Except for my face. And dang it, my face was cold.

Do you know what I learned? I’m like a bear. I get into my comfortable bed with the flannel sheets and heavy comforter at night and then in the morning, I DO NOT WANT TO GET OUT. So I don’t. I snuggle in, read emails on my phone, play words with friends, and guess who brings me coffee in bed? Mr. Demanding himself. SPOILED ROTTEN. I can then snuggle in for another 45 minutes or until my bladder can not wait any longer. Maybe I’ll start wearing diapers and linger longer; I am NOT above it.

After our huge knock-down argument about creamer, I repaid Coach for the coffee all-week-in-bed with a 15 egg frittata (with extra cholesterol) for him to enjoy all week long. We’re both nice when we’re not bickering over coffee creamer or saying HUH?

Happy Monday my friends. I’m hoping this week brings ONLY good things to all of us; may it be warm coffee, gentle people and residing in a comfortable home.

XO

If Everyone Did What I Wanted Everything Would Be Hunky Dory. Also No Fugly Dresses Or Bangs For Me.

Remember our lovely Christmas card photos? Nathan made the cut since there will be a wedding in ’21. {Lawd, please DO NOT let it be a MASK wearing wedding!}

Speaking of Nathan, he’s {temporarily} left his Law Enforcement job to join the Marine Reserves; he’ll be gone for six months; Lolo dropped him off on Monday. Why join the Marines now? At this stage of his life? Because it’s been a dream of his since forever and he started to pursue a military career as a teen, but life happened, things were delayed. Now, he needs to do it before he ‘ages’ out. Lolo is fully supportive as he didn’t flinch when she said she was moving away for 18 months to pursue her Masters Degree. It’s like they’re grownups or something.

*sigh* 

Why do the children do things that I don’t want them to do? Anyhoo, Lolo finished up her Master’s program a Just before Christmas (all high A’s even though I gave birth to her) and is back at their home and now he’s left, she’s scrambling to find a job to pay the mortgage. Oh, the job thing, Mama isn’t so happy about the direction it’s going, but she assures me all will be good. More on that later if I don’t shank her first.

So, the Marines, the crazy thing is they quarantine them for two weeks in a hotel. He’ll be in a room alone with no phone, no TV, no internet and no fresh air. What the fresh hell are the Marines trying to do our soldiers? Oh, toughen them up? It’s becoming clear now! He told us that 30% don’t even make it through the two week quarantine. What? It sounds like there are parents who are raising sissy La-La’s who can’t go without their Tik Tok or Insta-Face.

Anyhoo, our Lolo is very sad of course, she’s going to miss the heck out of him.

If you are a praying person, please send some up for Nathan as our biggest worry is that he becomes injured in bootcamp or someone in his group does get Covid and this delays his ‘being done with bootcamp’ and moving into ‘Wedding day’ territory. Wedding plans are in place for October 2021. Deposits have been made, contracts have been signed and I’m thinking of Mother Of The Bride dresses.

You know, I want to be very subtle and not attract any attention as it’s LOLO’s day.

Hideous dress photo borrowed from Here

Speaking of hideous dresses, last night I had a very vivid dream that I cut my bangs and they actually laid flat and perfect and not the way they actually would lay with my hideous cowlick. I need to stop thinking about cutting bangs because it’s infiltrating my sleep, but at least once a week I think about cutting bangs. What is wrong with me?

So to re-cap, please pray, or send good vibes & positive mojo for Nathan, remind me that orange is NOT my color and hide my hair shears.

XOXO

Happy 9131.06 Days

My sweet, sassy, hilarious, intelligent & oh.so.colorful baby turns 25 today. It was just yesterday that I FINALLY got her potty trained and now she does this to me? Grows UP? The nerve. I’m so blessed to have her as my daughter, confidant and friend.

My girls really do read my blog and they really DO think I’m funny and I didn’t even have to threaten them about it. So, wish my sweet Linds a happy 25th birthday and if you have any sage advice for her, she’ll read and possibly take some of that sage advice.

Happy birthday my sweet Lindsburger! XOXO