Weird Tan Lines and Perhaps An Intervention Is In My Future.

Me standing in front of the entire World Wide Web:

My Name is Suzanne and I’m addicted to Vionic Flip Flops.

That entire top row is the same shoe, just a different color. I also have a pair in my car. A few pairs at our rental condo and about 7 pairs in GA. I believe I am solely responsible for Vionic being in business.

I know there are people on the planet who loathe flip flops. That might be you. But if it is you, then you don’t live in Florida and you don’t suffer with arch issues or plantar fasciitis.

I lived with terrible hip, knee and ankle pain thinking I was going to die, until a Dr. (the fourth one) in 1995 stated that I had ‘fallen arches’.

My Arches after Suz gaining of 50lbs with pregnancy:

HELP, I’VE FALLEN AND I CAN’T GET UP

That particular Dr. prescribed a pair of custom made orthotics and they SAVED MY LIFE. I still have them today (26 yrs) and wear them in my athletic shoes.

It wasn’t until many, many years later that Vionic (and a few other brands) started making shoes with arch support and I could again wear cute shoes without pain.

So what did I do? I supported the entire &^%$#@+ industry, that’s what I did.

I LOVE my Vionic Tide flip flops. I put them on as soon as I fall roll out of bed; you’ll never catch me barefoot. Walking barefoot is painful.

People say: They’re so expensive!

I know. I agree.

But you know what else is expensive? Having my feet transplanted. That is super expensive and I believe unheard of.

FLORIDA PROBLEMS

It was all fun and games until Vionic came out with this new super cute sandal that I just needed to add to my collection. I was SO excited to have something comfortable and different in my arsenal.

The only issue?

My tan lines don’t match up.

Do I need to start wearing sunscreen on my feet? Or start a self tanning foot regiment?

I’m perplexed.

I would give my left middle finger (the effed up one) to be able to wear flat shoes or *hold me from fainting* stylish high heels without wanting to jump off a bridge, but that part of my life was over in my late 20’s.

*Vionic has come out with a few pair of cute heels that are doable for a short time. I wore a pair to Lolo’s wedding, but when the dancing commenced, you bet your sweet azz I was wearing my flip flops!*

Do you have issues with your feet? Or should I hate you for the fact that you can wear anything OR go barefoot?

XOXO

Cheerios And Your Nose…

don’t go together….

I’ve been enjoying greek yogurt in the mornings and I generally toss in a handful of cheerios because FUN FACT: I love crunchy food.

Every time I open the box of Cheerios, I have flashbacks to when my girls were toddlers and Cheerios were most often the snack of choice. I carried them everywhere in little ziplock bags. The cheerios, not my kids. Cheerios were great to appease a peckish toddler.

ONE of my delightful offspring MIGHT have gotten a Cheerio stuck IN her nostril. I won’t tell you which one, but she currently wears a lot of weapons on her person while working.

There’s probably cheerios in those nostrils couch cushions.

I’ve mentioned it more times than I should that I have a cholesterol problem. I noticed that RIGHT on the BOX of Cheerios it states that eating Cheerios will lower your cholesterol. So not only am I getting some crunch, I’m maybe, kinda, sorta lowering my cholesterol.

Recently I had an epiphany. At first I thought I might have been having a stroke because it was so strong, but nope, it was in fact an Epiphany:

Toddlers ingest a lot of cheerios and you never hear about toddlers having elevated cholesterol so eating Cheerios on a regular basis really is good for you!

Another fun fact: Have you walked down the cereal aisle lately? Not only are there a bazillion different brands of cereal, Cheerios are no longer just the original cardboard flavor which I do enjoy.

When we were kids you could only get the original cardboard flavor but now they have nineteen varieties. NINETEEN. What a time to be alive!

By the way Merriam Webster also states that Cheerio is a term used in British society; usually used as a farewell and sometimes as a greeting or toast. I don’t want to brag, but I already knew that from watching British shows. See, watching TV is educational.

It would be perfectly ok to say Cheerio to the Cheerio as you insert it into your nose mouth.

Cheerio!

When is the last time you ate Cheerios and were you compelled to stick them in your other face hole?

Why Do I Do Stupid Things? Look Who Is Still Hanging Around.

The Coach and I took a little trip up to GA last week; this time we only brought Lillie with us as Callie is very unbalanced and with all the hills/stairs here that might prove disastrous.

As I was putting groceries into the fridge I noticed this jar from home; I remembered bringing it up with us on our last trip in December, but for the life of me I couldn’t remember what it was.

Was it iced Tea? Yeah, it must be tea.

I smelled it and there appeared to be NO smell.

Hmmm…iced tea? Maybe apple juice?

I can’t tell you why, but I was inquisitive about this mysterious jar of liquid. So like any abnormal person I took a sip even though I wasn’t in the mood for iced tea or apple juice.

MISTAKE.

GAG.

It was disgusting.

BIG MISTAKE.

I spit it out, but couldn’t get the flavor out of my mouth as I gagged and gagged.

My stomach wanted me to vomit, but there wasn’t enough of the disgusting liquid for that so I continued to dry heave over the sink for about a minute before the Coach came into the kitchen asking:

Are you throwing up?

DRY HEAVE! GAG, COUGH, GAG!

My memory finally came around and I remembered what was in the jar.

Callie’s Joint Juice.

GAG.

Dogs might love it, but this girl certainly doesn’t.

There is good news though; my knees are pain-free and I could probably run walk a marathon mile.


The Hanging Chad is STILL hanging in there. *sigh* It’s been holding on since September of 2020. It’s been outrageously windy here lately and yet, it persistently hangs on.

You know that if for some reason we wanted that darn branch to hang on for dear life, it would have fallen a year ago.


Anyone else ingest something meant for your furry friends? I still can’t say exactly what possessed me to even drink something I was unsure of…maybe it’s that hole in my head?

By the way, my ear pressure issue has not improved. *sigh* I’m gonna give it some more time, then I’m going to visit my veterinarian.

XOXO