My Favorite App, Can We Stop Division In The Grocery Store & Who Will Win The Bread War?

Gigi turned me on to this grocery app and I absolutely can not live without it. I keep separate lists for everything under the sun; the great thing is you can share the lists via the app or you can text the list to someone within the app, if say, they are going to Costco for you, which is my favorite love language.

What Happened To Grocery Inclusive & Finally an Orgy On The Pasta Aisle

I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned it here, but my husband is the Condiment King. He can’t live without something added to his meals; spicy mustard, hot sauce, his own creation of mayo with some sort of hot sauce. After hurricane Ian, we had to clean out the fridge and start fresh. Honestly, I liked the look of an almost bare fridge; uncluttered and clean. But since I’m the Self Appointed Best Wife Ever, I’ve slowly been recouping his favorites, but for so long I couldn’t find sriracha. I’d looked for it on the condiment aisle every week and it was never there. Finally, this past week I opened up my Publix App to see what I was doing wrong, and all along I should have been on the international food aisle and not the lowly Basic Condiment Aisle. I was put off by this; why must we segregate nations at the grocery store? It’s 2023 for heavens sakes!!

Another fun shopping thing happened on the same day: I’d had orzo on my grocery list app for so long, I’d forgotten what I wanted it for because the stores were always out of it. I’m talking six months at least. Finally, last week I found orzo; they had so much orzo and I declared it was an Orzo Orgy!

Let’s Break Bread (over someones head)

There might an egg shortage happening OUT THERE, but there’s a Bread War happening IN HERE. *Suz waves hands towards the kitchen*

We don’t have much use for bread in our house and generally I don’t buy it at all, but occasionally, I’ll keep a loaf of Dave’s bread in the fridge on the off-chance someone decides they could use it. (Like when I get a hankering for an egg Sammy) I specifically keep it in the fridge because it will last weeks without getting moldy.

My husband is 100% against bread in the fridge; says he doesn’t like the way it tastes. Which is weird because if I don’t even buy it, he never mentions the taste. Sassy much, Suzanne?

About six months ago, I bought a loaf and I let it sit on the counter after he filed another complaint about Fridge Bread.

*THIS IS WHERE I AM REDEEMED SHE SHOUTS FROM THE COUNTERTOP*

One morning the coach came in from the gym rushed, he had to clean up and run to a meeting so he asked me to make him some eggs and a piece of toast while he showered. If you could have seen my EAR TO EAR GRIN when I opened up the Countertop Bread and it was moldy. Why must that bring me such satisfaction? Marriage. Marriage is the only reason.

This past week I purchased a loaf of Dave’s bread and I separated half of it to a ziplock bag and put it in the fridge for me. The other half went into the pantry drawer for him. (To get moldy, I can only assume)

I’ll let you know how it works out.

Are you on Team Fridge or Team Counter?

XOXO

If You Have To Say It Out Loud, It’s Probably Not True.

When my girls were in Middle school I carpooled with a Mom who lived around the corner; her kids (twins) were one or two grades above Linds and one year below Lolo. As much as I loved their mom, the twins were a bit obnoxious. They loved to brag about the size of their home, how much it could sell for, their new clothes, new phones etc…I just can’t with braggers, even if they’ve barely hit puberty, but being the mature adult, I bit my tongue a lot.

I recall one day when picking them up from school, the daughter was scrolling her texts said to me: “You probably don’t know this, but I’m really popular.”

The words spilled out of my mouth before I could stop myself:

Well, if you have to say it out Loud, it’s probably not true.

Obviously, I’d had enough with her sassy ass. I could hear Lindsay in the backseat giggling at my remark, and since then, that’s been a One Liner with Linds and I.


Recently, the Coach and I attended an event/dinner/awards at our local university. In attendance, and sitting at our table was a former athlete who is only two years older than our Lolo. Anyhoo, this young lady is beautiful, smart, very sweet, appeared very accomplished and personable.

But as much as I admired her for those things, and she did seem interested in the other people around her, I also knew in the first 21 minutes of introduction that she (and her husband, who is my age) have several Chiropractic practices, a Ferrari, a large house, plenty of travel opportunities that require much luggage and her Chanel purse needs its own chair.

Woah Sister, save some stuff for later!

The Coach and I discussed it on the way home and had a good snicker. Not the candy bar, a giggle, although I could use a snicker bar because I’m not myself when I’m hungry.

Anyhoo. It made me wonder, if I had all those ‘things’ at 32, would I feel the need to boast about them? No. I would not. And today, at the ripe old age of what I am, I’m kind of the opposite. I prefer to play down the ‘stuff’ and focus on what really matters: My Stellar Personality.

Not to brag, but I’m damn popular. In this house. Most of the time. Really, mostly at dinner time, but you know.

Anyone run into a not.so.humble bragger lately? Were you as unimpressed as I?

XOXO

Unremarkable What? And It’s Time For Me To Leave You.

Lillie’s surgeon suggested we look into an oncologist in case auxiliary treatments might be needed for her tumor/cancer.

I was hesitant. The Coach really thought it was overkill and worried they would want do do ‘something’ no matter what. But I had this intense desire to NOT to go through what we’ve just gone through again if this resurfaced; which can happen. It was a daunting time for all of us, but mostly Lillie. And me. Ok, mostly her, but I do have a bit of PTSD from that ordeal.

What always happens when I bring her in for an appointment (if there are NO other critters in the vicinity) the techs, Dr’s, receptionists can’t stop oohing and awing at her cuteness.

This particular visit was no different.

THE GOOD NEWS AND THE EMBARRASSING PART

A few minutes into us being in the exam room with the Dr, after she declared Lillie to be The Cutest Ever, Lillie heard none of that, and proceeded to pee like she’s not pee’d in days. Thanks girl, that’s not embarrassing.

Then as we are checking out with the receptionist, a gentleman walks in with his large docile dog and Lillie proceeds to lose her shit and go all Cujo right there in the lobby. I can hardly get out my credit card while holding my 14 pound beast who wants to eat this sweet 90 pound innocent dog. Thanks girl., that’s not embarrassing.

Funny how no one said she was cute while that was happening.

The good news is the Dr. said nothing needed to be done now, but I’ll take her back in a month and have them look at a semi-enlarged gland.

A few hours later they emailed me details of her exam and this was one part that caught my eye:

Lillie was bright, alert and responsive on presentation. Lillie was well hydrated. No obvious oral tumors. Eyes were within normal limits.
She is missing the majority of her right pinna, otherwise ears were unremarkable.

Um, excuse me? Unremarkable? They might be the MOST remarkable ear(s). But I do understand the ‘well hydrated’ part as she did create a puddle.

my all time fave pic of Cujo Lillie.

I’m shocked they didn’t note her aggressive behavior and penchant for peeing in public.


Well guys, I’m leaving. I’ve had it up to here with all of you.

Kidding.

I am leaving though. Lillie and I will be in GA all next week (she requested Mountain Time) and I’ll be gone most of October to parts unknown. Although, truth be told, I do know the parts.

I might pop in and read when I have a moment and I might pop a post in if time is on my side, but I also might not. I make no promises, but please promise me you won’t do anything fun or exciting while I’m away. Or else.

*Edited to add: I will be prepping our house for a hurricane prior to my departure. 😏

XOXO

Does your pet ever embarrass you?

Eyebrow, You Brow, We All Brow

When I hinted last week at my need to share about my eyebrows, I was pleasantly surprised by how many of you were eager to discuss. (Nicole, I actually belly laughed at your comment) So, I figured that was all I needed to actually write the post.

Let’s Start with My Eyebrow Horror Story.

Picture this: Suz’s first day of 10th grade. I’m about 4’10 and I weigh no more than 80lbs. Awkward turtle with zero wardrobe compared to my peers. My brother Mark tells me as I’m getting ready that I need to clean up my unibrow. (I didn’t have a unibrow, but there were some stray hairs) He handed me a disposable razor and said: Here, use this to clean it up.

I took one swipe down the not.so.middle of my brows which took out the stray hairs and a good portion of my right eyebrow.

IF I COULD TURN BACK TIME.

What a way to start my not.gonna.be.awkward.this.year at school. My friends with straight brothers had no idea the fun I went through with him giving me terrible perms and bad eyebrow advise. I wish there was photographic evidence because I was something to behold for the first few weeks of my sophomore year; I did not have school pics that year.

EVIDENCE OF EYEBROWS A FEW YEARS AFTER RAZOR-GATE

My glamour shot photo from Beauty School. Can you even see my eyebrows with all that eyeshadow? No.you.can’t.

Through the years I did light plucking to keep my brows at bay without making any real damage. I did a lot of careless things as a young woman, but thank goodness I never over-plucked. For a time in my 30’s/40’s I would get my brows waxed just to keep them clean. When I was coming up on fifty I realized that waxing was overkill because my brows didn’t grow that much and all they required was light plucking on my part; no razors thank you very much.

It was shortly after turning fifty when I noticed in photos, I appeared to have little to NO brows. But when I looked in the mirror, it seemed like they were there, as they have always been. But obviously they, unlike my thighs and demeanor were thinning and getting lighter.

I would use tinted gels if we were going out for a special occasion and there would be photographic evidence. I’ve also been taking hair/nail vitamins for quite a while without much fanfare. Recently I invested in Revitalash. I honestly can’t say anything good or bad because I took my NEXT STEP before really giving that a chance.

Taking The Microblading Plunge

I’d been contemplating having Microblading for over a year, and the nail in the eyebrow coffin was when I saw my bestie Kelly a few months ago and she had this done without conferring with me. She lives on the East Coast, so occasionally she does things without letting me know, but still…

Her brows looked great. I did some research and found someone in my area who has been doing it a long time and had over 500 great reviews.

I made my appointment for Microblading and mentally prepared myself for this because the title of this procedure has BLADE in it. Did you notice that part?

Really though, my blade lady numbed the area and I felt nothing. Zilch. Zero pain. She drew the outline of my soon-to-be brows after measuring my crooked ass face. Woo. It looked like a LOT was going to be filled in, but I suppose when I didn’t have much to start with anything looked like a lot.

She made tiny little cuts along the drawn out areas and filled them in with ink. I was told to not have any caffeine, wine, vitamins, etc prior to this; you know, anything good that thinned out my blood. She was actually having a hard time filling in my left brow more than my right and she said that was common; that is the side where our heart is and there is more blood flow. And we all know how EXTRA LARGE my heart is. ♥️

She told me when all is said and done to not get them wet for 3-5 days. Me: Is it three? or is it five? I went with five. Which meant I couldn’t sweat, which meant I couldn’t work-out or walk to the mailbox because each of those activities involve me sweating.

Just before my procedure and right after. I hope you know how much I despise taking photos of myself, especially sans makeup; I did this for you.

What I didn’t fully understand prior was that you go through a few ugly phases while healing and you don’t get the full color/look until six weeks later when you have a touch up appointment.

Photo borrowed from here.

The first few days I couldn’t pass a mirror without surprising myself. They seemed SO dark, so BIG, so Groucho Marx. Even the Coach kept staring at them…he said he wasn’t, but I know he was.

Do you ever watch The Walking Dead? You know, with all the zombies. Sometimes they’ll be walking around willy nilly and a body part (fingers, leg, arm) just falls off, but they keep going. Well, there were a few days where I would walk by the mirror, take a glance and see part of my brow just hanging there, willy nilly. For real. They were scabbing up and falling off. It was SO hard to not just rip off the dangling bits, but I didn’t want to ruin all that I’d gone through. Within 12 days, they looked pretty normal and I’d gotten used to them. Although, the left one does need more fill-in than the right one; I have an appointment in October to have them touched up.

The procedure is supposed to last 12-24 months depending on your skin type, how much you sweat, etc…so I’m guessing mine will last 4 months. KIDDING, I’d better get two years out of these brows. I was in her chair for just over two hours, but part of that was us talking about it and the numbing part. Overall it was an easy procedure and depending on how long it lasts, I’d probably do it again.

My hair also got a little attention between the ‘just after and 20 days’. After my upcoming touch up, I believe my brows will be a little bit darker, but not by much.

I never in my life imagined that I would give my eyebrows a second thought. What a time to be alive.

Do you think I’m crazy? Don’t answer that.

Have you been microbladed? Were you taught to over-pluck your eyebrows and are now eyebrow bald?

XOXO