Tag: Random

The Writing Is On The Wall (and the toilet and the door)

I know I shouldn’t complain about my home, because I’m fortunate to have a safe place to land each day. But for the love of everything, it’s overly needy.

It’s usually the electric gate, the air-conditioning, the water or the plumbing. Always with the plumbing.

Since we have people coming and going and my husband isn’t always so focused on things that aren’t functioning properly, I add a handy dandy little note. so we don’t get caught in a dry pickle. We are on a well system and get our water via a reverse osmosis tank; if you let the water run and run, the tank will empty and we will have zero water. none. zip. zilch.

This makes for a cranky Suz, although I don’t need the finest things in life, I’m a much better person with running water.

Our current Sign Situation

Bathroom One: I love threatening people.

I used to have great handwriting, but as I’ve gotten older (lazier) it’s not as neat, plus I’m guessing I was in Frustration Mode when writing these notes.

Bathroom Two: I’m tempted to change sticks to sucks.

Main door to the lanai won’t open for no apparent reason: I put that note for our 23 year old dog sitter when she stayed here last weekend. I knew she would get it.

Bathroom Three: Some of you might recall this sign and post from 2021 when our painter Jeff Spicolli Super Stoner, didn’t want to read this sign all the way through because he thought I was sharing GOSPEL information and not toilet information.

Spicolli felt terrible about us being without water for 13 hours after that incident, so he did a nice repair the next day. Sadly, that toilet is again running. I’ve not added a sign, I’ve just closed the door and not let anyone in there.

I don’t want to jinx it, but our toilet in the master bathroom is in perfect working order.

We also have two sinks (kitchen & guest bath) with the absolute worst water pressure in the twenty first century. Add in that in our master bathroom, I had to turn off the hot water to our sinks because my side would continually drip, even after a plumber looked at it twice. *sigh*

I have new plumbers, the ones who installed our tankless water heaters and they will be out next week to address ALL of the things. Well, not the door. Not sure when the Coach will be able to tackle that one.

Wish me luck!

Anyone else leave little notes around your house regarding the broken stuff so it doesn’t get worse?

XO

My 80’s face And When Reviews Go South

I’m preparing to be away from my ‘puter again; please don’t cry too hard, loud or long.

I’ll leave you with some Random stuff:

  • As I was washing my face the other night, I had a vision-memory pop into my brain.

It was the late 80’s, my Mom was down from GA visiting me in Florida, I was living with the Coach. I was in the bathroom washing my face, with the door open, I was scrubbing my skin with a Buf Puf and that apricot exfoliant cleanser that literally felt like rocks mixed with liquid. (Do you remember Buf Puf’s? They could take paint off of a car!)

I already looked 12, how young DID I want to appear?

I came out of the bathroom ALL red faced and shiny and my Mom said: You know, I don’t think that is good for your skin. She was being delicate with her words because at that time, I didn’t have much patience for her.

Me thinking she’s crazy, as I reached for the SeaBreeze astringent. I can still feel the burn, thinking I’m doing something good, something healthy.

Today, at 56, I’m lucky I still have skin on my face.

Putting in an emergency call to Eckerd for more Buf Puf’s!

  • I’ve been purchasing my underthingys’s from Soma for years. The same under-roos for years. Recently, I wanted a few new pairs, went to the website, ready to order and FOR THE LOVE OF EVERYTHING WHAT HAS HAPPENED? They’ve discontinued my fave style! I was shocked. I was dismayed. But worse: I wasn’t prepared for what I saw next.

I had to try a different style, so I chose a few that I thought might be close and started reading the reviews when I was slapped in the face 2024 style. (I’m paraphrasing the reviews because I didn’t save them)

These are so soft and comfy; they don’t ride up and the XL fits me perfect. BTW: I’m 5’10, 190lbs, male.

DO WHAT NOW? Are these unisex? What will I do with all that extra space in the front? Perhaps a stash spot for my lip gloss?

Slightly shaken, I went to the next style and read:

These are my favorite! There is no visible panty line, they’re breathable, I can wear them all day with no issues.

Seems great, right?

Except there was a photo attached of a MAN, sitting on the edge of his bed, wearing said underwear and a camisole top. (they didn’t even match!) This didn’t appear to be a woman who transitioned to a man, this was a bonafide man, five o’clock shadow and an unmistakable package.

I wonder what size he bought; he didn’t divulge and that would have been helpful.

Anyhoo, I ordered them both in Medium and let’s see if these guys know what the hell they’re talking about! 🙄

XOXO

Do any of you remember Buf Puff’s, Sea Breeze and when mostly only women wore women’s underwear?

(I know, I know, there have always been men wore ladies panties, I’m not that naive; I’m floored that they also like Soma!)

Wyoming Is My Favorite Of The Why’s, What Are The Freaking Family Feasibilities? I’m A Winter Sport Survivor Who Avoided Fighting An Olympian.

A few weeks ago, the Coach and I revisited a favorite place, for the third time with new blood; Angee & Rob. The first time we visited Three Forks, was for Coach’s fiftieth birthday (2015) along with two of our faves: Don and Kelly. Then we went with whole fam-damily in 2022; which was by far one of our best family trips; who knew that vacations with your grown kids would be so fun? Ok, I actually knew it would be, because I made the best, most funnest humans.

In addition to all the outside activities and inside activities (Spa & pools!) they’ve been hosting small concerts for up to 54 people. We were able to see Rhett Akins and he did not disappoint. (If you are a country fan, he’s Thomas Rhett’s father and has written most of Tom’s hits, plus many of Blakes, Justin’s, Brooks & Dunn’s, Luke’s, & John Pardi, to name a few)

It’s A Far Out Family Reunion

Our very first evening, the four of us went to the small lounge area for happy hour prior to dinner. Wait, did I tell you that there were only TWO OTHER GUESTS for our first three days here? *We had the entire place to ourselves, aside from the concert night when they sold tickets for the show to benefit a charity.

*Oh wait, I’m a Big Fat Liar. I forgot about Lindsay Vonn! She was there with a small enterouge for the first two days; she was filming promo’s for the Lodge which meant we couldn’t go into the main lounge on our first night and the next day, we weren’t able to do something or other because of her group.

Me to my people: This olympic b*tch is encroaching on my vacation, if she wasn’t six foot, strong and young, I’d tell her so. 🤣

Back to our first evening: As we were ordering our drinks, Angee asked about a certain champagne/bubbly wine, or something like that. The sweet barmaid said: Hey, hold on, let me get our Sommelier and he’ll pick out something special for you.

A moment later this man walks out and I notice Angee’s eyes go deep looking in his direction; as he approached the table, she says and I clearly think she’s already drunk: HEY, YOU’RE MY COUSIN. JIM? JIMBO!

He stops. Looks at her and says; YES, YES I AM.

At which point, I thought I was being punked. We’re literally in the MIDDLE of nowhere!

Y’all, they are first cousins. Their Moms are sisters, but they’ve not seen each other in fifty years and Angee only recognized him because they are both on Social Media. His wife also works there and she was such a doll; we had so much fun with them!

Unlike when we visited Three Forks in warmer weather, I only planned on one outside activity: Snowmobiling. I’m sure you can only imagine how much experience I have doing this since I’ve was born and raised in Florida.

Even though I know nothing about this sport, I elected to drive my own mobile in lieu of being a passenger. Listen, I love my husband and trust him, but I’m not a huge fan of his driving in general; I opted to take my life into my own hands as we followed a trail.

The snow had turned into mostly Ice, so if you veered out of the tracks ahead of you, it was hard to get yourself back in line. Lordy, there were points where I was looking down at long drops on either side of the trail. If Lindsay could have seen me, she would have pooped her pants because one of her biggest fears is her mother dying.

I was damn proud of myself for being able to navigate, not die and for risking life and limb by peeing in the wild– I didn’t know we were going to be gone for two hours!

I’m glad I stepped out of my comfort zone; this was fun! The snowmobiling, not the peeing outside part.

The guys opted to go ice fishing one day and Rob went skiing one morning. Plus, we all had massages, body wraps, some did yoga, we had a *mixology class, a cooking class and we visited the salt room, hydrotherapy spa, ate gourmet meals, revisited with the amazing staff and generally enjoyed ourselves.

*During the mixology class I drank an entire Lavender Lemon Drop Martini and earned myself a nap.

You won’t be surprised to know that one of my favorite things about vacation is NOT cooking and NOT doing laundry and I’d like to vacation at least once a month. Please. Pretty please!

Can you imagine traveling across the country, staying at a not-so-well-known resort and running into your childhood friend; your cousin? I think Angee should buy lottery tickets weekly because that is crazy WILD serendipity if you ask me.

Have you run into someone randomly, so far from home by accident? Have you snowmobiled?

I’ll resist asking if you’ve relieved yourself outside, in the winter, because if you’re my friend, you probably have.

XOXO

I’m Certain You Missed Me And WHAT? Smashing Hamsters?

The Coach and I had a little getaway this past week. (Wednesday-Sunday) Surely, you missed the heck out of me. I will share some of our adventures, but first, I must gather my thoughts. And do laundry. LORDY, the laundry!

For some reason I didn’t sleep well last night; no reason for it as I was so very tried after traveling across the world country, but for the life of me ma’ brain and ma’ body wouldn’t stop tossing. Probably, I was worried about getting back to all the cooking and cleaning again. Does Oprah or Kim K. worry about such things?

Anyhoo, my sweet MIL came to our home before we left, so she could stay with completely spoil our dogs, fend off any would-be robbers, release butterflies and of course, Manage The Monarch Hospice Situation. (One butterfly is still alive and kicking!) She even had dinner ready when we got home. Am I the luckiest girl or what? I’d bet a million dollars Kris Jenner isn’t doing any of that.

My Rock Star MIL rocking Biscuit to sleep.

The Poor Hamster!

Ok, this is probably way too much for most of you, but I am who I am.

Coach was up early this morning and before he headed to the gym, he let the Frenchies out to do their business, then they both romped onto our bed, and quickly went back to sleep. I laid there for about fifteen minutes, then decided to just get the hell up if I can’t sleep. After my cup of Joe, I started to make the bed when I saw there were spots of blood all over our white sheets and white coverlet. DAMN! For a second there, I thought I started my period, then remembered I don’t have those parts any longer.

One of the dogs must’ve cut her paw while out in the wilds of the world, so let’s add the sheets and coverlet to the piles of laundry! Hells, bells, what else do I have to do with my time?

Anyhoo, this blood in the bed sitch gave me a flashback.

Many years ago we were on the East Coast visiting our dear friends Kelly and Don over the weekend. On Sunday morning, I rolled out of bed, headed to their kitchen for coffee and Kelly was going from her bedroom to the laundry room carrying her sheets; she had a disheveled, tired look about her. Don came walking up behind her and muttered, “Suzanne, It looked like Kelly smashed and murdered a hamster in our bed last night”

I DIED! We were in hysterics over his phrase about the hamster.

I mean, if you have or had a uterus anytime in your life, you know the feeling!

Of course, I conveyed this story to my girls way back when, and it’s a phrase that we would toss around. THAT POOR HAMSTER!

I’m so happy to have that part of my life behind me! With all the hamsters that I’ve murdered, I should be in PETA Jail.

This meme resonates so much, but I hope to never forget the Hamster comment.

Who can compete with my Gem of a Mother In Law? Any takers? I’ll fight ya, I swear!

I will be making my rounds to all of you this week; please tell me nothing exciting happened while I was away.

XOXO