Tag: Funny

Everyone Is Old. Everyone Is Weird. Not Everyone Is Richard Gere.

On By SuzIn As blogged by Suz34 Comments

Earlier last week Lolo asked if she could come for a visit. She’s currently not working (that’s gonna change soon) and Nathan has already been gone for three weeks for his Marine training. She came Friday late afternoon with both dogs and planned on having dinner with us, but ended up staying all weekend. Can you imagine how much I hated that? HA. She didn’t even bring a change of clothes or dog food but borrowed some of my stuff and Callie shared her vittles with the pups. We had a very nice low key weekend doing wedding invite/save the date projects, watched TV, spread mulch in the garden, tending to my houseplants, lots of laughing, and watching the dogs play in the yard.

I Just Became Old And Avoiding Crescent Rolls

At one point we opened up my laptop to see if we could find anything acceptable for me to wear to the wedding; some questionable choices included a few dresses with cut-outs in the waist or back areas. I laughed picturing me wearing those and I referenced the Pillsbury crescent roll containers when you ‘pop them open’; stuff oozing out of an opening.

ME: I’m going to be 54 when you get married, I can’t wear a dress with cutouts. OH MY GOSH, I’m getting old!

Lolo: Everyone is old, it’s ok.

Me: Babies. Babies are NOT old.

Lolo: Some babies ARE old.

We busted out laughing and we continued to belly laugh about nonsense all weekend.

When the girls were in High School and they were going somewhere on Friday or Saturday night I would always remind them to “Drive safe, everyone out there is drunk.” We tend to paint things with a broad stroke.

Everybody’s drunk. Everybody’s old. Now I feel better about myself.

They had their engagement photos done a few months back and ya’ll, I can’t even with how darn cute they are.

Photos by Ailyn La Torre Photography

What The Heck Just Happened?

So, we watched this really deep, bizarre, and emotional show on Hulu; The previews were elusive and it peaked the brain of our resident Psych Major. Psych Master. Master Major. You know what I mean. Derek Delguadio, In & Of Itself. We didn’t know what to expect and when it was finished, we still didn’t know what we had actually experienced, but at one point we were both crying. Part magic, self-exploration, slight of hand. One catchline they use is Identity Is An Illusion. I started to wonder, who AM I? If you watch it, you’ll understand that part.

After all that brain work I shared with Lolo a little phenomenon known as An Officer And A Gentleman. I figured we could see what Nathan might be living through right now in his Marine boot camp. Wait, do you think his drill sergeant might look like Richard Gere 38 years ago? Have you watched that movie in the last 10 years? I had completely forgotten how it began, but I can never forget how it ends.

Pic borrowed from here.

Who doesn’t dream of being carried out of the paper mill by a Navy Officer? Well, wait a minute, you know I’d be crying over the death of ALL those trees….so never mind.

We All Need An Uncle Frank

This was such a sweet movie. We laughed, we cried, we laughed again. Damn it. Love IS love. It made me miss my Brother Mark even more and of course, my mind wonders what our family dynamic would be if he was still living. *sigh*

I give it fourteen thumbs up.

That was a lot for a weekend with ZERO plans; I’m so thankful for time with my girls whether it’s planned or spontaneous. We mentioned the phrase EVERYONE IS OLD several times and she stated as she was leaving: “That is gonna be in a blog post, I just know it.” Damn skippy it is.

Did you watch any good stuff on the boob tube this weekend?

xo

The Only Kind Of Dogs We Have Are The Weird Ones

On By SuzIn As blogged by Suz18 Comments

Since we’ve had temporary custody of Max our Grand-dog, I’ve caught him watching TV more than once. I suppose it’s a good reprieve from following my every move around the house/yard or barking at things outside that don’t exist.

Usually I catch him staring at the boob-tube when the Coach is enjoying a dose of Cesar Milan, The Dog Whisperer.

Wait, did your Dad refer to the TV as a boob tube too? What does that even mean?

Max is very interested in the Cesar Milan show, but of course, he’s never interested in being a proper dog while in public with other dogs. *sigh* We DO need Cesar IN PERSON.

The whole reason he is staying with us is because he’s a train wreck for Lolo while living in VA; you can’t take him out on a simple walk for potty/exercise because he loses his marbles when he sees another dog. Here at Casa De BusyBee, he can roam the property with no other dogs in sight other than Callie and Callie doesn’t bother him at all; she’s just happy to be here.

In general, he’s a wonderful dog; a snuggle bunny, but he much prefers people to dogs. All in all, he’s a rescue who comes with baggage, so we put up with the shenanigans and give him as much love as possible. Honestly, I could eat his face because he’s yummy.

He’s excellent at creating a spreadsheet.

Recently the Coach and I were watching Alone on Netflix. (Originally on History Channel) Have you seen this? We think it’s pretty interesting. Anyhoo…while watching one night one of the ‘survivors’ see’s a huge bear, he tries to scare it away by yelling BEAR. Max looks up from my lap, notices the bear and starts growling.

OMG.We were laughing hard. This little 25lb dog wants to talk shit to any other dog on the planet AND bears. I’m guessing before he was snipped he had gonads the size of King Kong. I for one, will not tell him that he’s not the bad ass that he thinks he is because his confidence is endearing.

Anyone else catch your pets watching TV? Or making excel spreadsheets?

XO

Our Art/Science/Lets Aggravate Each Other/Cheesy Project

On By SuzIn As blogged by Suz17 Comments

Way back in May of this year, I purchased what I thought to be the cheesiest of anniversary gifts for the Coach and I. Turns out, it might be the coolest AND cheesiest gift. I still can’t decide.

I’m not sure where on the internet I had read about it, but someone out there shared their Luna Bean Hands project and I thought, well, this is kind of weird, a little creepy and unusual. SOLD!

The container sat on my laundry room table for months and months. Finally a few days before our last trek up to GA, I said: We need to do this plaster project before one of us loses a hand or worse, dies. There’s nothing to prompt us to finish a project like impending death or dismemberment.

We waited until Kelly was here to mediate guide us through our science project. It was pretty simple with specific directions; mix this with this, then add that, put your hands in the goop, and keep checking that it’s drying, but also YouTube. What did we do before YouTube?

It literally did take 3 people to do this and the funniest part while we were making this memento of our love and life together, we both became extremely annoyed with each other. Ok, maybe I was JUST ANNOYED AT HIM. He didn’t think I had my hand IN the plaster properly and was pissing me off gently asking me to stop wiggling. Hey, I had to SIT STILL FOR AT LEAST 4 MINUTES STRAIGHT; it was hard for me.

We were pleasantly surprised by how well this turned out; talk about instant satisfaction.

You can see every wrinkle on our hands. Why didn’t we do this on our wedding night?

Get your minds out of the gutter, our hands people! Think of how young and fresh our hands were 29 years ago.

And just so you believe that I was being abused held tightly, see the tugging of my skin? You guys are on my side, right?

Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury, I present to you exhibit A.

There are a few areas that could be cleaned up/dug out, but I don’t want to mess with it and take a chance on having to redo it in 2020.

I did a little video so you can see all the wrinkles details. Don’t mind the washer and dryer in the background, Cinderella has a job to do.

Do you happen to remember when my husband refused to do the DNA ancestry test because he thought the government might try to frame him for something? Well, lookie here, I now have his fingerprints! I’ll hang that over his head for eternity because that is true love.

Lauren and Linds: Guess what you get to fight over after we’re gone?

Honestly, I think this is such a wonderful idea. I wish I had the hands of all my people who have passed on.

Well, NOT their ACTUAL hands.

It would have been sweet to do this with our girls when they were little; the four of us. Right? Then again, there would have been four of us wiggling and arguing and the Coach can only squeeze one hand at a time.

Can anyone fess up to topping this level of cheese factor?