Tag: Funny

Our Art/Science/Lets Aggravate Each Other/Cheesy Project

On By SuzIn As blogged by Suz16 Comments

Way back in May of this year, I purchased what I thought to be the cheesiest of anniversary gifts for the Coach and I. Turns out, it might be the coolest AND cheesiest gift. I still can’t decide.

I’m not sure where on the internet I had read about it, but someone out there shared their Luna Bean Hands project and I thought, well, this is kind of weird, a little creepy and unusual. SOLD!

The container sat on my laundry room table for months and months. Finally a few days before our last trek up to GA, I said: We need to do this plaster project before one of us loses a hand or worse, dies. There’s nothing to prompt us to finish a project like impending death or dismemberment.

We waited until Kelly was here to mediate guide us through our science project. It was pretty simple with specific directions; mix this with this, then add that, put your hands in the goop, and keep checking that it’s drying, but also YouTube. What did we do before YouTube?

It literally did take 3 people to do this and the funniest part while we were making this memento of our love and life together, we both became extremely annoyed with each other. Ok, maybe I was JUST ANNOYED AT HIM. He didn’t think I had my hand IN the plaster properly and was pissing me off gently asking me to stop wiggling. Hey, I had to SIT STILL FOR AT LEAST 4 MINUTES STRAIGHT; it was hard for me.

We were pleasantly surprised by how well this turned out; talk about instant satisfaction.

You can see every wrinkle on our hands. Why didn’t we do this on our wedding night?

Get your minds out of the gutter, our hands people! Think of how young and fresh our hands were 29 years ago.

And just so you believe that I was being abused held tightly, see the tugging of my skin? You guys are on my side, right?

Ladies and Gentlemen of the Jury, I present to you exhibit A.

There are a few areas that could be cleaned up/dug out, but I don’t want to mess with it and take a chance on having to redo it in 2020.

I did a little video so you can see all the wrinkles details. Don’t mind the washer and dryer in the background, Cinderella has a job to do.

Do you happen to remember when my husband refused to do the DNA ancestry test because he thought the government might try to frame him for something? Well, lookie here, I now have his fingerprints! I’ll hang that over his head for eternity because that is true love.

Lauren and Linds: Guess what you get to fight over after we’re gone?

Honestly, I think this is such a wonderful idea. I wish I had the hands of all my people who have passed on.

Well, NOT their ACTUAL hands.

It would have been sweet to do this with our girls when they were little; the four of us. Right? Then again, there would have been four of us wiggling and arguing and the Coach can only squeeze one hand at a time.

Can anyone fess up to topping this level of cheese factor?

The one where I earn my Ph.D. in all things Pelican.

On By SuzIn As blogged by Suz14 Comments

The Coach and I went out on the boat this past weekend; the upside is it was a gorgeous day, the downside was it was as hot as hell and the water was a bit rough; it was a wear ‘two sports bras’ kind of boating trip but I was unprepared and was wearing a standard bathing suit. Am I complaining about being on the boat on a beautiful day? It certainly sounds like it.

I’m not always the most observant person, but I noticed a ton of pelicans on Saturday. I mean, we always have pelicans, but it seemed like a seriously LARGE amount everywhere we went. Is there a pelican season? Are they Gremlins?

They were all over the docks, waterways, signs, sea walls, and even IN the water. Did you know they can float? Professional floaters is what they are.

Max, who thinks he’s a badass, usually bows up and starts barking at random dogs, garbage trucks, bicycles, and recently a guy in a wheelchair who wanted to say hi to him. He started to act like he had a pair when he saw a pelican at the dock but then hid behind us when it moved. Little shit.

Seeing all of these large pelicans, spurred my intrigue: Why don’t you ever see baby pelicans? I pondered this thought with the Coach and he thought that possibly, they aren’t much smaller than adults when born and maybe we just don’t see the difference. Goodness, that was a terrible answer; clearly, he is NOT a pelican specialist.

I checked with ye ole’ google machine:

Something unusual about our populations of coastal pelicans is that baby pelicans are never seen. This is because pelicans nest far away in inland or remote locations in large breeding colonies

And then I found some pictures of baby pelicans, who are obviously much smaller when born since they come out of an egg. I’m directing this at you Coach…

Found this pic on Reddit, can not locate who the pic belongs to. Sorry if I stole your pic.

Have you ever seen anything as cute as that?

*gag, winch, twitch, winch, gag*

Good lord, I can’t even write a lie without winching; that image will haunt my dreams forever.

That might possibly be the most unattractive creature that God put on the earth. What was he thinking?

Do you know that the species name is Pelecanus? Yes, there is an anus at the end of pelican, now I’m starting to get the whole picture.

A group of pelicans is called a pod. Actually, there are many other names for pelican groupings — a pouch, a scoop, a squadron or if they are fishing as a group, a fleet.

Then in my research, (which by the way I am NOT getting paid for, so if you learn anything from my blog, please thank me in the comments. It’s the least you can do) I found this meme that someone made. I laughed SO hard.

I shared it with my family and my typically very intelligent husband looked at me seriously and asked what IS a testicle swan and is that a real thing?

Good lawd, I just LOL’ed while writing this with tears streaming down my face.

Testicle swan; that should bring some interesting search inquiries my way.

I generally post on Monday mornings, but I’m gonna send this out into the world on Sunday because as things go around here, ya’ll won’t see it until Tuesday. Damn internet, what’s it good for? Scary pictures of baby pelicans, that’s what.

XO