A few weeks ago I called to make an appointment to see my Dermatologist, whom I love. Sadly, she was super busy, but I didn’t want to wait until mid May because melanoma doesn’t care if she’s busy. So I made the appointment with her PA for this past Thursday.
*Years ago I noticed a weird little bump/lump area on the top portion of my left eyebrow; I scratched it and the darn thing flaked right off; RIGHT OFF! It left a tiny indent, and then I never thought about it again. UNTIL a few weeks ago, at that same exact spot I woke up with a flesh colored mole there. OVERNIGHT. Like, what did I do yesterday to deserve this? Did I forget to recycle something?
Within another few days, the darn thing was larger and I was kinda freaking out on the inside, but on the outside I was only slightly freaking out.
I win the prize for the quickest Doctors visit ever.
I arrived for my 4pm appointment at 3:58, checked in at the front desk and before my tush could hit the waiting room chair, a young lady came for me.
Me: I can’t believe you made me wait this long.
She took me into an exam room, asked a few questions, departed and came back with the PA. I showed her my cancer spot and she played it down, saying it was more of a sunspot. (but used really big words to begin with, you know, to throw me off)
She said she would need to freeze it off and whipped out a GIANT bottle of liquid nitrogen. I was thinking: The spot isn’t that BIG! The freezing part was weirdly cold. I mean, I should have known since she did use the term FREEZE.
It took all of 1.5 minutes for the freeze/burn, then I showed her a spot on my thigh that was worrying as well, and she said It too, was nothing to be concerned with.
Hell. This woman is not dramatic enough for me…so I departed.
I was finished and at the checkout desk at 4:05. Fo’rizzle, my dizzle.
I know what you’re thinking. The most important part of this story has not been discussed.
WHAT ABOUT YOUR
TATTOOED MICRO-BLADED EYBROW SUZ?
I’m glad to know you cared enough to ask, but my left brow is probably ruined. Surely, I had this coming; probably gave side eye too many times. Right now it’s kind of blistered up, but who knows what it will look like in a few weeks. Please send thoughts and prayers.
My Poor Toe, My OK Arches!
On Friday (the fun never ends!) I saw my podiatrist to have her end the suffering of my left big toe. I’d been having ingrown issues and I was tired of farting around with it and asked for the more permanent solution of Chemical matrixectomy. I’d had this done on my right big toe many years ago with good results and I knew it was the only answer to my poor, innocent left big toe. By the time I actually got to my appointment, the issue had been taken care of by my sweet pedicurist, but I knew it was only a matter of time that the issue came back. It’s not a terrible procedure, especially if you edit out the part of the numbing needle that might be as big as one of Coach’s fishing rods. KIDDING. It’s quite uncomfortable for about 28 seconds, but after that though, nothing is felt.
Anyhoo…I’ll skip over the details of that and let you know that my Podiatrist and I had an in-depth discussion about Wearing Shoes In The House VS No Shoes In the House. This convo was brought on because she told me I have good arches, which is strange since I thought I’d had fallen arches, and then I thought I had high arches, turns out, according to her, My arches are just fine.
No mater what state my arches are in, I can not for the life of me go barefoot and I spend copious amounts of money on quality shoes with arch support. She totally supports Wearing Shoes Inside because it helps to alleviate all sorts of feet issues, like pain and plantar fasciitis. I’m never thrilled attending someones home if they have a no-shoe policy. It literally pains me.
I can *somewhat* see why people might have this rule. Outside is dirty. Inside is clean. Right? But, who reading this eats off the floor? Not this girl because even though Inside is Clean, the Floors are not always, and I’m ok with that because I choose to avoid pain; our floors are 90% hard tile.
I’m sure this is an unpopular opinion, and I’m ok with that. When you come to my house, you can leave your shoes at the door OR wear them in because I want you, my friends to be comfortable.
even if my disgusting floors will cause you to catch every disease imaginable
Who will lose sleep over my eyebrow?
Are you Shoes On or Shoes Off? If so, would you still visit me if I’m wearing shoes?
Signed, your friend Suz with the weird eyebrow and sad feet.