Here’s Your Sign, Blonde Moment #250 And What Fears Do We Share?

It’s been over a year since we purchased our GA house and I’m still nesting. It takes time, but hopefully I have some time left in me. I was at my happy place recently (HomeGoods) looking for something in particular, but you know how it goes: you stumble upon something you didn’t know you needed.

They had a whole section of ‘wine related’ items that drew me in like a 13 year old girl to sparkles. I saw this unusual wooden sign, picked it up, half read it, looked at the back and realized it was made out of a wine barrel. I thought to myself, Hmmmm….I’ve never heard of this phobia, but I recall having a conversation with my girls about phobias before and there are a lot of I phobias haven’t heard of.

I bought it thinking it would be great at the wet bar on the terrace level of our house.

I had it sitting on the counter for a few days and my Aunt Trisha casually said to me: That sign is too funny, I love it!

I was JUST ABOUT to say to her: I know, I’ve never heard of…and then it dawned on me.

SOUND IT OUT SUZANNE!

NO VINO PHOBIA.

This wasn’t a bonafide medically referenced phobia.

But I am affected by it.

I should be more affected by BlondeMomentPhobia because those are not so rare.

Are you embarrassed to know me? I mean, that was a humdinger of a blonde moment

And speaking of REAL phobias, here are the most common phobias:

  1. Arachnophobia (Fear of spiders)
  2. Ophidiophobia (Fear of snakes)
  3. Acrophobia (Fear of heights)
  4. Aerophobia (Fear of flying)
  5. Cynophobia (Fear of dogs)
  6. Astraphobia (Fear of thunder and lightning)
  7. Trypanophobia (Fear of injections)
  8. Social Phobia (Social anxiety disorder)
  9. Agoraphobia (Fear of a situation where escape may be difficult)
  10. Mysophobia (Fear of germs)
  11. Claustrophobia (Fear of small spaces)
  12. Glossophobia (Fear of public speaking)

I didn’t think I had any real phobias, but some of them affect me in a mild way. Not life altering, but small worries if you will.

1. Aside from Daddy Long Legs most spiders weird me out; DLL’s are common at our house and I have no issue with carrying them outside, but regular spiders? You dyin’ today.

2. At home, we have a lot of black racer snakes and they don’t scare me. Although trying to get one off the pool lanai does prove a challenge. In GA we have copperheads and they are plentiful; they can be very dangerous to humans and pets. I have a very big fear of them while in GA walking the dogs.

3. Not a fan of being up high, but I do it when necessary; you know to change a lightbulb or dust a fan.

4. Coincidentally, my fear of flying is always quieted when my is Novinophobia taken care of. A glass of wine while flying always gives me that feeling of: ‘hey, if we crash, it’s been a fun!’

12. If I know I have to speak in public, I become very nervous prior. It could be at a group meeting or introducing myself to a large group of strangers. Generally, I’m a great conversationalist, but if I know ahead of time that I’m gonna have to address more than 10 people, I’m a hot mess.

One fear that I’m afflicted with but couldn’t find a name for: ThingsLikeLaddersOrLogsFlyingOffTrucksAndSmashingThroughMyWindshieldaphobia.

Do you struggle with any of the top phobias or something different than what is a common phobia?

Are we still friends after I admitted to not really reading comprehending the sign in front of me?

Signed, your novinophobic friend Suz

XOXO

This, That & The Other Thing. The Video/TV Edition; Now With More Blonde Moments.

I’m still blown away with the viral video of the guy who became famous for drinking Cranberry juice while catching a ride behind a truck on his skateboard; was it a phenomenal video? No. Did you know he did this because his vehicle broke down and he was hitching a ride and decided to tik Tok himself? When I was a kid, you weren’t supposed to tik tok yourself; it was frowned upon.

Isn’t it silly how our world is now? You do one thing, be it funny, good, bad or otherwise and you can become famous. I’d rather not be famous; think of the things you can’t get away with. But this silly video brought new life into the Fleetwood Mac Song too; so I suppose that is a positive.

Cash me outside boo.


The Coach and I watched Hillbilly Elegy on Netflix this past weekend. It was really good; a true story of a rural family struggling with drug use. Glenn Close? THE Transformation. It’s kind of sad family tale, that tugs at my soft heart, but spoiler alert, there is a semi-happy ending. Hey, if you’re knee deep in Hallmark movies, this will be a departure.


You know that song Is This Love by Bob Marley? It’s one of my favorites and it plays quite a bit on my John Mayer Pandora station that I listen to all.the.time. One line always perplexed me though and forgive me, but I often have these blonde moments.

Wanna love you and treat you right
I wanna love you
Every day and every night
We’ll be together
With a roof right over our heads
We’ll share the shelter
Of my single bed
We’ll share the same room, yeah


For Jah provide the breadIs this love, is this love, is this love, is this love that I’m feelin’?
Is this love, is this love, is this love, is this love that I’m feelin’?

OF MY SINGLE BED. For the longest time I couldn’t figure out why he would add in what size bed he was sleeping on? Was he proud that he couldn’t afford or have room for a queen bed, much less a king size? What grown man sleeps on a single/twin sized bed? And then one day, a lightbulb went off and I realized he just meant the one bed. ONE BED SUZANNE!

HA! Seriously, this is almost as bad as when I thought Justin Timberlakes song: “SexyBack” meant someones actual BACK; like they’ve been working out ridding themselves of back fat. *slaps hand to forehead after I realized what he meant* Stella getting her groove back, etc…

Pic borrowed from here

I never said it was easy being me….you’d be exhausted too!

Please, tell me your best screwed up song lyrics!

Make it a good day.

XOXO

Cauliflower & Blonde Moment #249

I’m having a really busy week. I’m not a fan of busy anymore; should I change my nickname to Doesn’t Want To Be Busy Bee?

The Cauliflower Nip

I had to take Callie to the vet for a growth. We noticed this growth near her nipple a while ago, but over the last month or so, it grew at warp speed. Wait, is it a teet? Or a Nipple? Hmmmmm. Don’t you hate it when one nipple decides to just GROW and GROW and try to outshine the others? It wasn’t hurting her, but I was worried the darn thing would get caught on something, you know, like a car door.

She is the sweetest roughed up, extra large nipple, half an ear, 4 teeth cow herding dog that we’ve ever had.

Callie is not a fan of the vet or riding in the car for that matter; it’s all pretty traumatic for my cow dog. We had to wait an HOUR for the Dr because there was an emergency. Frustrating for my cow dog and even though I tried to explain to her that another puppy was very sick and needed to take more of the Dr’s time first, she wasn’t falling for my stupid story.

The xl nipple in question.

Suzanne however, was becoming ravenous. I have this thing where I’m not hungry and then the next moment, I’m STARVED, I can’t focus properly, I become irrational and crabby and then I get a ‘hungry headache’. It’s fun, really.

I started to think about what I wanted to eat and I said to myself, I’d push someone down for a salad right now. Of course, not Callie, I’d not push her down, but I would push down a human.

The Blonde Food Moment

I then remembered that there was a Panera bread in the vicinity of the vets office. Being an efficient and hangry person I went onto my Panera app and ordered a Greek Salad with grilled chicken (no olives because gag and no cheese because effing cholesterol) Generally if I order from Panera I choose the Rapid Pickup; this is where they prepare your food, then leave it on a shelf with your name on it near the entrance. But since I had my cow dog with me, I chose the option where they’ll bring it out to my car. I had my order in the app and I didn’t hit SEND until I knew we were about to depart.

Internally I was thanking baby Jesus because I knew that soon I will have nourishment… because I’m starting to spiral and I said to myself that I could eat raw cauliflower right now even after looking at Callies large lumpy nipple.

Turns out, I had to leave Callie at the vet so they could give her a calming drug to chill her out before they did local anesthetic to numb the area and cut the XL nip off. I hated to leave her, but it was better than taking her back home for a few hours and then back in the car for the nipple removal. Plus all I could really think about now was my next feeding.

Have I typed nipple enough to get myself kicked off the internet?

So, I said my goodbyes and drove the 18 seconds to Panera to pick up my delicious, but non cheese salad. I park in the designated spot and clicked on my app I’M HERE.

And then I wait.

And wait.

I’m checking emails. Playing words with friends. Cussing about the slow ass Panera employees.

I wait.

I wait.

Now, the hunger headache has hit my head full-on and I’m really cussing these sorry ass slow people and why didn’t I just do the rapid pick up, I could have been almost home now with my salad and my head hurts!

I wait.

I wait and cuss.

I go back into the app.

Oh snap, Suzanne, you idiot!

You know, don’t you.

I’m a sorry ass app reader.

I ordered my food from a Panera 25 minutes away.

Damn it. I shouldn’t do important things like order food when I’m hungry. Which is ironic.

I had to walk my sorry self into Panera and order another salad. So, being hungry and dumb cost me an extra $12.00 yesterday.

Callie was able to come home later in the day; a bit loopy, but she lost some weight with that nipple removal.