I’m having a really busy week. I’m not a fan of busy anymore; should I change my nickname to Doesn’t Want To Be Busy Bee?

The Cauliflower Nip

I had to take Callie to the vet for a growth. We noticed this growth near her nipple a while ago, but over the last month or so, it grew at warp speed. Wait, is it a teet? Or a Nipple? Hmmmmm. Don’t you hate it when one nipple decides to just GROW and GROW and try to outshine the others? It wasn’t hurting her, but I was worried the darn thing would get caught on something, you know, like a car door.

Callie is not a fan of the vet or riding in the car for that matter; it’s all pretty traumatic for my cow dog. We had to wait an HOUR for the Dr because there was an emergency. Frustrating for my cow dog and even though I tried to explain to her that another puppy was very sick and needed to take more of the Dr’s time first, she wasn’t falling for my stupid story.

Suzanne however, was becoming ravenous. I have this thing where I’m not hungry and then the next moment, I’m STARVED, I can’t focus properly, I become irrational and crabby and then I get a ‘hungry headache’. It’s fun, really.

I started to think about what I wanted to eat and I said to myself, I’d push someone down for a salad right now. Of course, not Callie, I’d not push her down, but I would push down a human.

The Blonde Food Moment

I then remembered that there was a Panera bread in the vicinity of the vets office. Being an efficient and hangry person I went onto my Panera app and ordered a Greek Salad with grilled chicken (no olives because gag and no cheese because effing cholesterol) Generally if I order from Panera I choose the Rapid Pickup; this is where they prepare your food, then leave it on a shelf with your name on it near the entrance. But since I had my cow dog with me, I chose the option where they’ll bring it out to my car. I had my order in the app and I didn’t hit SEND until I knew we were about to depart.

Internally I was thanking baby Jesus because I knew that soon I will have nourishment… because I’m starting to spiral and I said to myself that I could eat raw cauliflower right now even after looking at Callies large lumpy nipple.

Turns out, I had to leave Callie at the vet so they could give her a calming drug to chill her out before they did local anesthetic to numb the area and cut the XL nip off. I hated to leave her, but it was better than taking her back home for a few hours and then back in the car for the nipple removal. Plus all I could really think about now was my next feeding.

Have I typed nipple enough to get myself kicked off the internet?

So, I said my goodbyes and drove the 18 seconds to Panera to pick up my delicious, but non cheese salad. I park in the designated spot and clicked on my app I’M HERE.

And then I wait.

And wait.

I’m checking emails. Playing words with friends. Cussing about the slow ass Panera employees.

I wait.

I wait.

Now, the hunger headache has hit my head full-on and I’m really cussing these sorry ass slow people and why didn’t I just do the rapid pick up, I could have been almost home now with my salad and my head hurts!

I wait.

I wait and cuss.

I go back into the app.

Oh snap, Suzanne, you idiot!

You know, don’t you.

I’m a sorry ass app reader.

I ordered my food from a Panera 25 minutes away.

Damn it. I shouldn’t do important things like order food when I’m hungry. Which is ironic.

I had to walk my sorry self into Panera and order another salad. So, being hungry and dumb cost me an extra $12.00 yesterday.

Callie was able to come home later in the day; a bit loopy, but she lost some weight with that nipple removal.