That Hinge Made Me Giggle, The Unhinged One Did Not And The *Not So Professional* Scribble Queen

First I need to stretch.

Then I picture myself wearing some bad ass boots while doing the following:

And then I giggle my butt off.

I just realized that Shania’s video was drawing from the Vibe of Robert Palmers Simply Irresistible. Man, I wish I could relive (some of) the 80’s!

By the way, one of our exterior doors, actually DID come off the hinge yesterday. 😳 #thishouse


On Monday I was signing a birthday card to my Cuz Patrick who is turning 40 today.

Happy Birthday Cuz Patrick!

I grabbed a pen out of my pen supply in the mudroom and when I was almost done writing my note and signing our names, the damn blue ink pen ran out of ink. I then went through six pens from the pen basket on the counter looking for blue ink. NONE to be found.

I groaned, grabbed the card and brought it back to my office desk and proceeded to go through 14 pens looking for BLUE. Did I only have one blue pen in my house; a house that houses 492 pens?

Finally I found a blue pen, only to realize that the piece of paper I was scribbling on was a signed Lease Document I’d just got back in the mail from an upcoming renter.

*SIgh*

Suzanne, you are so effing professional.

To quote Shania: Man, I feel like a woman nimrod.

Am I the only one that never noticed the correlation between Shania’s video and Robert Palmers but women instead of men? Or am I just imagining that? (Ernie, don’t even try to answer 😜we all know you don’t know!)

XOXO

Why Do I Do Stupid Things? Look Who Is Still Hanging Around.

The Coach and I took a little trip up to GA last week; this time we only brought Lillie with us as Callie is very unbalanced and with all the hills/stairs here that might prove disastrous.

As I was putting groceries into the fridge I noticed this jar from home; I remembered bringing it up with us on our last trip in December, but for the life of me I couldn’t remember what it was.

Was it iced Tea? Yeah, it must be tea.

I smelled it and there appeared to be NO smell.

Hmmm…iced tea? Maybe apple juice?

I can’t tell you why, but I was inquisitive about this mysterious jar of liquid. So like any abnormal person I took a sip even though I wasn’t in the mood for iced tea or apple juice.

MISTAKE.

GAG.

It was disgusting.

BIG MISTAKE.

I spit it out, but couldn’t get the flavor out of my mouth as I gagged and gagged.

My stomach wanted me to vomit, but there wasn’t enough of the disgusting liquid for that so I continued to dry heave over the sink for about a minute before the Coach came into the kitchen asking:

Are you throwing up?

DRY HEAVE! GAG, COUGH, GAG!

My memory finally came around and I remembered what was in the jar.

Callie’s Joint Juice.

GAG.

Dogs might love it, but this girl certainly doesn’t.

There is good news though; my knees are pain-free and I could probably run walk a marathon mile.


The Hanging Chad is STILL hanging in there. *sigh* It’s been holding on since September of 2020. It’s been outrageously windy here lately and yet, it persistently hangs on.

You know that if for some reason we wanted that darn branch to hang on for dear life, it would have fallen a year ago.


Anyone else ingest something meant for your furry friends? I still can’t say exactly what possessed me to even drink something I was unsure of…maybe it’s that hole in my head?

By the way, my ear pressure issue has not improved. *sigh* I’m gonna give it some more time, then I’m going to visit my veterinarian.

XOXO

Here’s Your Sign, Blonde Moment #250 And What Fears Do We Share?

It’s been over a year since we purchased our GA house and I’m still nesting. It takes time, but hopefully I have some time left in me. I was at my happy place recently (HomeGoods) looking for something in particular, but you know how it goes: you stumble upon something you didn’t know you needed.

They had a whole section of ‘wine related’ items that drew me in like a 13 year old girl to sparkles. I saw this unusual wooden sign, picked it up, half read it, looked at the back and realized it was made out of a wine barrel. I thought to myself, Hmmmm….I’ve never heard of this phobia, but I recall having a conversation with my girls about phobias before and there are a lot of I phobias haven’t heard of.

I bought it thinking it would be great at the wet bar on the terrace level of our house.

I had it sitting on the counter for a few days and my Aunt Trisha casually said to me: That sign is too funny, I love it!

I was JUST ABOUT to say to her: I know, I’ve never heard of…and then it dawned on me.

SOUND IT OUT SUZANNE!

NO VINO PHOBIA.

This wasn’t a bonafide medically referenced phobia.

But I am affected by it.

I should be more affected by BlondeMomentPhobia because those are not so rare.

Are you embarrassed to know me? I mean, that was a humdinger of a blonde moment

And speaking of REAL phobias, here are the most common phobias:

  1. Arachnophobia (Fear of spiders)
  2. Ophidiophobia (Fear of snakes)
  3. Acrophobia (Fear of heights)
  4. Aerophobia (Fear of flying)
  5. Cynophobia (Fear of dogs)
  6. Astraphobia (Fear of thunder and lightning)
  7. Trypanophobia (Fear of injections)
  8. Social Phobia (Social anxiety disorder)
  9. Agoraphobia (Fear of a situation where escape may be difficult)
  10. Mysophobia (Fear of germs)
  11. Claustrophobia (Fear of small spaces)
  12. Glossophobia (Fear of public speaking)

I didn’t think I had any real phobias, but some of them affect me in a mild way. Not life altering, but small worries if you will.

1. Aside from Daddy Long Legs most spiders weird me out; DLL’s are common at our house and I have no issue with carrying them outside, but regular spiders? You dyin’ today.

2. At home, we have a lot of black racer snakes and they don’t scare me. Although trying to get one off the pool lanai does prove a challenge. In GA we have copperheads and they are plentiful; they can be very dangerous to humans and pets. I have a very big fear of them while in GA walking the dogs.

3. Not a fan of being up high, but I do it when necessary; you know to change a lightbulb or dust a fan.

4. Coincidentally, my fear of flying is always quieted when my is Novinophobia taken care of. A glass of wine while flying always gives me that feeling of: ‘hey, if we crash, it’s been a fun!’

12. If I know I have to speak in public, I become very nervous prior. It could be at a group meeting or introducing myself to a large group of strangers. Generally, I’m a great conversationalist, but if I know ahead of time that I’m gonna have to address more than 10 people, I’m a hot mess.

One fear that I’m afflicted with but couldn’t find a name for: ThingsLikeLaddersOrLogsFlyingOffTrucksAndSmashingThroughMyWindshieldaphobia.

Do you struggle with any of the top phobias or something different than what is a common phobia?

Are we still friends after I admitted to not really reading comprehending the sign in front of me?

Signed, your novinophobic friend Suz

XOXO