She’s Still Kicking, Just Not As High.

Thank you all for your encouragement and well wishes on my post-op post. (say that three times fast) I had my catheter removed and HOLY MACKEREL, it’s awesome to pee unassisted.

Who knew?

Well, you probably all knew.

It’s Me, I’m The Problem

I know I was so excited and started doing housework (pure insanity!) when I first arrived home; in hindsight, I should have been beaten with a wet noodle.

Ahem….Not so surprising, a few days later in the week, I could hardly remove myself from the couch and I totally blame the housework so I’m vetoing all housework for whatever is left of my life.

The no housework statement, sadly is a big fat lie.

I’m taking it easy from here on out. The bare necessities and sadly, one of those is making dinner. Lord, don’t I deserve to be hand fed each day? Would it kill someone to peel my grapes?

Peanut and I have spent a lot of time outside since the weather has been so lovely, thanks to a cold front. Sure, you’re cold as heck but I’m living my best outside life.

I’ve not even had the gumption to read any blogs and I’m sorry about that.

I’ve been so low key, that my smart watch sent me a text stating that my activity level and caloric burn is down compared to normal times. YA THINK? Generally I strength train three days a week and do a HIIT class twice a week. Now, I’m not hitting anything but that proverbial wall.

Funny though, I’ve not been moving as much, eating the same amount, yet I’m losing LBS. Do you think my body is burning calories by internally healing? Or were my organs that heavy? These are the questions I need to ask my Dr. at my follow up appointment.

What does a busy body do when she is forced to rest?

HGTV. Bravo. Apple TV. Netflix, minus the chilling part.

PUZZLE: This was a Christmas gift from my youngest amazing child and I’m almost finished with it.

I GAVE BIRTH TO SHE-MEN.

I had some honey-do’s that were piling up, but my actually Honey has been the Busiest Bee. What I’ve been wanting done are swapping out the areas rugs in our bedroom, dining room and sitting area. I’d ordered them months ago; they’ve been living in my garage. (Callie ruined one of them, Lillie another)

Ya’ll it looked like I had a Rug Store in my garage. You Get A Rug! You Get A Rug!

Lolo wanted to come and visit since I’ve not seen her in a while and I figured her sister would love to come and visit too, while they did the heavy lifting/labor for me since I labored for them all those years ago. (I also fed them dinner, no peeled grapes.)

I honestly thought I’d need to hire a few men to move the heavy furniture, remove the old rugs (9×12 foot, wool, heavy rugs!) and replace with new and put the furniture back…but I gave birth to strong women, so that is what they did along with some help from their Dad.

Coach had the lovely job of taking apart our seventeen year old bed (headboard, side rails, foot board) as a new one will be arriving this coming week. Trying to remove the rug under our bed and replace it was a delicate and hefty movement by the three of them, while I, who can’t currently pick up anything just watched.

Not one complaint from my people, and they said it was actually a fun time. Are they ANGELS Or WHAT?

Anyone think resting was going to be easy? Who’s been forced to do it and did you find it underwhelming?

Removing Essentials, Preparing To Be Uncomfortable.

On Thursday I had a lovely visit to the hospital and then to my Dr’s office for my pre-op appointments for my oh-so-exciting full hysterectomy set for 3/9.

The RN at the hospital was surprised that I wasn’t on medication. None? None. It makes me wonder, are most women at 55 on meds? When she asked about vitamins and supplements, well, this is where she realized I wasn’t quite so ‘well’. As I listed what I was taking, she was confused on some because she wanted to make sure I wasn’t taking anything that could be considered a Blood Thinner.

They want my blood THICK. Much like my thighs.

I love saying that!

Anyhoo, we couldn’t decipher between thick and thin, so I’m taking NO vitamins and NO supplements and I feel like this is where it will all end for me.

The nurse, as nice as she was, well, she was quite invasive with the questions. I mean, you’re gonna be all UP in my business next week, why so many questions about my personal health and life, Carol. I don’t care to discuss my bowel habits with you; I must draw the line somewhere.

When she asked me if I’d had anything removed before, I was a little confused. Like a baby? Or a body part? She was asking about parts, not humans. Carol, clarify next time.

Anyhoo. I made it through and realized that I’ve lived in this town for 26 years and this is going to be my first ‘stay’ at a hospital. I’ve only been in this hospital once before and it was the emergency room, for someone else. I’ve been skating by, but now it’s all catching up to me.

My surgery will be 3 hours long and my Dr. will be assisted by a Robot. Or the Robot will be assisted by my Dr? Not sure exactly, but it’s a Robotic Laparoscopic Surgery.

I hope the Robot takes my insurance.

I prefer to be comfortable, not uncomfortable.

My Dr explained the RX’s that she called in for me; three of them, and all for pain.

Me: You mean this is going to hurt?

They should send me home the same day, unless there is an issue.

No vigorous workouts or Indoor Sports for six weeks and no driving for 10 days. WHAT IS THERE LEFT TO DO?

I wish I could fast forward a few weeks and skip all the uncomfortableness. The Coach will be here taking care of me along with my sweet MIL, Sue who will come stay for a few days and help with Peanut.

Anyhoo. Nothing else fun or exciting to share with you today.

This photo doesn’t have anything to do with anything, but it’s one of my current crotch orchid bloomers.

I take it back, I guess it is relative.

Until next time.

XOXO

A Not-So-Scary Pet Cemetery And You Get A Voice On My Voice.

Who remembers the Steven King book/movie Pet Semetery? Scared the bejesus out of me. And why did they spell Cemetery with an S? That’s frightening as well.

We’ve lived in this house for 26 years and we’ve buried four cats and four dogs out there. *waves hands towards the back yard*

You know, when you’re young(ish) and placing your beloved pets into the ground, you think you will always remember where you put them.

File that under: Lies I told Myself.

I mean, we know the the general vicinity, but not an exact burial spot.

I had a lightbulb moment after losing both Callie and Lillie in such a short time span to place markers to help us remember. They are in an area that is the New Burial Area. The old burial area is near the pool area; basically we started fresh with no chance to ungrave anyone.

I’d ordered two heavy granite markers for our sweet girls from here and my MIL gave me this sweet flag for Christmas and it’s perfect in our new Cemetery.

The dates I used are from when they lived with us, not their actual birth year since I’m not in possession of their birth certificates and the Florida Bureau of Vital Statistics office won’t return my calls. Asshats.

Instead of showing photos, how about a VLOG?

Why is hearing my voice like hearing nails on a chalkboard? And they weren’t Butterfly Bushes (that’s what I call them) that were removed, the technical term is Fire Bush; but saying my fire bush was out of control doesn’t sound proper on a Tuesday morning.

*Shortly after, Peanut found a dead frog and proceeded to run around with it in her mouth like she’ d just found a billion dollars worth of cookies, with me following.

For a moment there, I envisioned ordering her a Grave Marker as well. KIDDING!

Not sure if I’ll do the VLOG thing again. I used to do them occasionally as they seem easier than trying to take appropriate photographs.

Chime in, please.

Have you buried pets in your yard or do you cremate?

I suppose I should be mindful of pet-free homes…

Have you buried any bodies in your yard?

XOXO

My Milkshake Brings All The Dogs To The Yard & My Citrus Brings All The Nature To The Yard.

Peanut has a trainer that comes once a week and we’ve been working on Sit (she’s got it!), Stay (she’s about 50%), and down (about 25%). My goal is for her to have good manners; like not jumping up on people, going to her ‘place’ when she needs to be out of our business, not eating our shoes or my plants and not yanking my arm out of the socket while on the leash. You know, just behave nicely like my other children.

Other than the above commands, I’ve been working feverishly on getting her house trained. She is very food motivated (same girl, same) so I reward her with tiny treats when she potties outside. I hate to admit this, but she does have the absolute worst habit of eating her own poop. I know. I can hardly stand to share that with the general public because it’s embarrassing…but this girl came from weird circumstances and this behavior is not unheard of, but it’s new for us. We have to be diligent to catch her when she has a number two or else. To quote Brittney & Katy: Oops, I did it again! I ate my poop and I liked it!

Gag. Bleh.

I always have a poop bag and some treats on me when we’re outside (which is a lot!) so I’m ready for number one or two. 😉 Occasionally, I’m wearing a skort or workout pants that don’t have pockets, so I tuck the poop bag in the waist of my daily uniform. To be perfectly clear, because I know you people, the poop bag that is tucked in the waistband of my pants IS clean and empty.

But, where does a diligent Dog Mom carry dog treats when she has no pockets? DUH, you simply tuck a few little kibbles in the top of your sports bra like a normal person.

C’mon. I’m sure some o you have kept worse things in your bra…

If My Milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, imagine if they knew I had cookies too!

Peanut, exhausted from being alive on Monday.

Fun fact: It was after our third training lesson that we realized that my dog trainer actually dated Lolo several years ago. My dog trainer pondered on this for a few minutes and then said: Is it weird that I dated your daughter?

Me thinking it wasn’t until he asked: Well, NOW IT IS!


Do you ever watch the CBS’s Sunday Morning News? It’s the only news I ever watch because it’s mostly Special Interest Pieces and they always end the program with a minute of Nature.

I’ll end this post (and maybe cleanse your brain) with a moment in Suz’s backyard. Our lime tree is full of blooms. The monarchs, bees and a few little birds are loving it all.


Now that the The Cookies In My Bra technique has come to light, are you embarrassed to know me?

XOXO