In The Garden With Suz; Just A Pinch Of Murder, But A Lot Of Organic.

My friends who reside in the cold tundra will be surprised to know that January, February, and March are some of my best gardening months way down here in SW Florida. The air is cooler and the sun doesn’t feel like hellfire.

The bees can’t get enough of the purple salvia and I can’t get enough of watching them buzz around the blooms.

My giant milkweed plant is being devoured by Monarch Caterpillars and that is a sight that always delights me.

Can you see all the little cuties?

I also have lots of potted herbs, tomatoes, herbs, sweet peppers, and herbs. Did I mention I have lots of herbs? Also, I tried my hand at some orange tomatoes this year. I’m sure there is a ‘real’ name for them, but let’s just call them orange tomatoes with a third nipple. Or first nose? What in the organic hell is happening out there?

I don’t use any fertilizer or pesticides. Which is sometimes an issue….I have some nasty weevil bugs that are eating my three citrus trees. When I googled how to rid them, the only answer was to spray pesticides on them. WHAT THE HELL? On my citrus? If you recall, we planted the citrus FOR the giant swallowtail butterflies. There is no way in hell I’m spraying those trees. Plus the lemons & limes they have been gifting us nonstop is amazing, I never knew how much I used citrus while cooking. I ALMOST feel like Ina Garten running out there collecting my citrus and herbs for a meal. Aren’t chicken nuggets better with a squeeze of lime and a dash of sage?

One of my Giants from 2020; see some good shit did happen.
See what the little turds have been doing?

So, what do I do? I go out once a day wearing ONE glove because I’m the Michael Jackson of my ‘hood. (Not in the molesty way though) and I hunt down the bugs and squish as many of them as I can find/reach.

The culprit is about to be murdered by Suzanne/Michael Jackson.

Let me tell you, it’s down right satisfying. Even MORE fun? When I find two bugs fornicating and I SMASH two at once. I can’t share pics of that because it’s rated R and even more R for the murdering part. I’m saving that for a Quinten Tarantino Film.

So, if you happen to drive by our home and hear strange sounds out back, it’s just me conversing with caterpillars & butterflies, picking weird tomatoes, or murdering citrus eating bugs. Pay nooooo attention and refrain from calling the authorities. Please.

So, anything growing in your home OR yard. How about your refrigerator? You know, we always called those ‘science experiments’. I still have part of a Tiramisu cake from Christmas Eve that I keep forgetting to remove from the garage fridge on garbage day. *sigh* It still looks exactly the same….I’m guessing it’s NOT organic.

XOXO

Chilly, Boots & B**bs

We’ve had some really nice winter weather this week in Florida. 50’s at night, high 60’s during the day. ‘Tis a lovely time because we know it will soon be over and it’ll feel like our eyeballs are melting just walking to the mailbox to pick up all the junk mail. Time to dust off my cute boots and break out that cardigan that hasn’t seen the light of day in a year.

GA leaves as we only have palm fronds down here.

The Coach opened up all the doors and windows yesterday and 15 minutes later, I closed them all because I was cold.

Nothing really exciting to talk about today. Can you imagine?

But something funny that I finally noticed. Our friend Kelly took this photo of us on the front porch of our Georgia home many months ago. I made the pic my desktop screensaver many MONTHS AGO. It wasn’t until last week that I noticed I was being felt-up by the bear. Or the Coach. Or both.

Excuse me, but I had my mammogram in August thank.you.very.much.

I hope everyone is healthy and moderately happy today.

XOXO

The Joys Of Marriage; WHAT DID YOU SAY? And I’D Never Survive A Cold Climate Long Term.

The Coach does not have great hearing; it’s not all his fault. He DID work on airplane engines for many years, we’ve attended hundreds of live concerts and also, he’s 55. I have pretty good hearing, but not perfect as I’m {almost} old. For example, I can be two rooms away with our Sonos music playing though-out the house, running the vacuum cleaner and he will talk to me and expect me to hear him when all I hear is what Charlie Brown hears when an adult speaks. Womp womp, womp.

I’ll finish up, come back into the room he’s in, and say: If you were talking to me, I have no idea what you said. He’ll either (1) say, I don’t remember what I said or (2) NOT HEAR ME.

HUH?

I just shake my head and hope he wasn’t saying something really important like we just lost all our money in the stock market or he’s found a younger version of me working at Hooters and they’re in love.

Now picture me sitting directly next to him, and I say something clear-as-a-bell and he doesn’t hear a word. I just shake my head.

Raise your hand if you also do a lot of head shaking.

I was kidding about the Hooters thing; he doesn’t go there because their wings are crap.

Coffee, Coffee Creamer & Not Real Fighting

Saturday night we arrived home after a long and wonderful visit to GA. Goodness, I forgot that we left SO soon after Christmas, and that all our Christmas decor was STILL up. Oh SNAP, those damn elves are sleeping on the job.

Sunday morning around 8am I sauntered into the kitchen and the Coach said: Good morning, I see you have TWO creamers and I have NONE.

{I’m non-dairy because of my *effin* cholesterol issue. This stuff is tasty though}

Whatevs. I explained that when I purchased them, they were in equal numbers and he just consumes his quicker than I do.

With a sassy smile on his face: And you knew that I would use more….ya know Publix opened at 7 am.

Me: My azz wasn’t going anywhere at 7 am.

We love to ‘argue’ like this. If my girls were here they’d say: “you should be nicer to each other, are you getting a divorce?” I would generally reply MAYBE, WHO DO YOU WANT TO LIVE WITH? Which is always funny since they have their own homes.

As a kid I recall objects flying through the house between my Dad & Mom and then my Dad & Step-Mom; (see the common denominator?) ashtrays, shoes, rocking chairs. I remember my dad unhooking the phone from the wall and throwing it INTO the pool because he was tired of its ringing. So, I know real arguing and my girls make me laugh with their silly non-worries. The last thing their dad threw was a party for a charity.

Life is good when you’re married to a smart ass, silly and like-minded fool.

Speaking of Coffee & A Spoiled Suz…Baby, it’s cold inside, so let’s hibernate.

While we were in GA, it was cold. I mean, I knew it was gonna be winter, but being IN winter is different than thinking about winter. (My Canadian friends do not read the rest of this) It was 32-38 at night and with a high of 35-45 during the day. That’s pretty cold for this Florida girl. When I would take Callie for a walk, I had every portion of my body covered. Twice. Except for my face. And dang it, my face was cold.

Do you know what I learned? I’m like a bear. I get into my comfortable bed with the flannel sheets and heavy comforter at night and then in the morning, I DO NOT WANT TO GET OUT. So I don’t. I snuggle in, read emails on my phone, play words with friends, and guess who brings me coffee in bed? Mr. Demanding himself. SPOILED ROTTEN. I can then snuggle in for another 45 minutes or until my bladder can not wait any longer. Maybe I’ll start wearing diapers and linger longer; I am NOT above it.

After our huge knock-down argument about creamer, I repaid Coach for the coffee all-week-in-bed with a 15 egg frittata (with extra cholesterol) for him to enjoy all week long. We’re both nice when we’re not bickering over coffee creamer or saying HUH?

Happy Monday my friends. I’m hoping this week brings ONLY good things to all of us; may it be warm coffee, gentle people and residing in a comfortable home.

XO