Don’t Confuse Your Love Language With My Love Language

I’ve never been shy about sharing that my husband is a kind and generous soul, but he might just get carried away at times. Especially when those times involve me.

Five months ago one of our lovely young employees became engaged. She’s a great person that goes above and beyond, so when she asked Coach to make some food for her wedding reception he said YES. I’ve blogged about his love for smoking meat and feeding a crowd before; it’s his love language.

{vegetarians look away!}

A random smoking event in our driveway from 2020; feeding the masses

He told me a month ago that He was going to cater the entire affair.

A few weeks later I asked some questions, you know, details, because the event was getting closer.

Me: How many people for Brooke’s reception? 30? 40?

Coach: Well it was 50, then 80 and now 120.

My eyeballs popped out of my head wondering who was going to help with this not-so-little shindig.

ME. It was to be me.

He had also enlisted our dear friends TW (who loves to cook), and his wife Mo.

FOUR non-caterers, catering.

The Coach and the bride put together a menu including three proteins, two salads, two vegetables, a starch, bread, iced tea, infused water and of course appetizers for the cocktail hour. (they did have a bar with a bartender that wasn’t one of us)

We shopped (& shopped) the two days prior. I would look at the receipts and think: I could have easily HIRED a caterer for the amount of money we spent and then I could have been a Guest. What a novelty.

Coach and I did prep work on Friday night and again Saturday morning, then we all met up at the venue at 2pm.

Note the cute bridesmaid in the burgundy dress sampling some food; she might share DNA with the caterers. 😉😜

I’m not really complaining because The Coach did the brunt of the work, but we all worked our biscuits off. Mo and I made 175 caprese skewers, we set up the chaffing dishes, tea and water, bread station and apps. (see my signs? I’m a PRO)

Mo and I ran all the food in and out and left the men in the kitchen, where they belong.

I wanted to take a photo of the buffet line, but by the time I had it all set up guests were showing up (rude) and I didn’t want to look unprofessional by taking pictures of my own work.

Ya’ll, we ain’t caterers, but we pulled it off beautifully. People raved. Our yelp page was on fire. 😳

I was personally asked at least six times what the name of our catering company was and I’m so mad I didn’t think of something sassy ahead of time. Like You Can’t Afford Us Catering. Or We Cook and Bitch. (only Mo and I were bitching; that’s our love language)

We arrived home at almost midnight and our feet were killing us.

Here’s the worst part. They only had 85 people show up, which is still A LOT. But it could have been much less food purchased and prepped.


We’re booked through December 2023.

One of our appetizers was Sausage Melts with Pico, but it was a version of Shit On A Shingle. Growing up we also referred to this as Pelican Turds. Have you had either?

I wanted to write one of the Inappropriate names on the little chalkboards but Coach poo-poo’ed my idea. Wait until he reads MY Yelp review.

XOXO

The Age Old Question: Up or Down?

Did you think I was going to discuss toilet paper roll placement? You silly fool, this is much more serious than that and any sane person knows the TP should be facing down. *eye roll*

Do you have the typical silverware set up in your dishwasher that fits on the bottom rack?

I know what you’re thinking: I’m proficient at shedding light on hard hitting topics.

We have that basket type at our GA house and while it’s not my first choice, obviously it’s been working for humans for many, many years.

This is what came with The Most Beautiful Dishwasher when we remodeled our house almost 5 years ago. {Miele} It has this secretive third rack on top for silverware. I love this dishwasher so much that I’m considering requesting it as my spot for eternal rest. It is the bomb at cleaning, has interior lights, you can knock on the outside to get it to open (although I always forget} and it fits tall wine glasses on the bottom rack like it was made for them.

It’s my favorite appliance. If it added money to the bank account via direct deposit, then the Coach could be worried about his place here.

Kidding.

Back to the standard. How do you arrange your flatware in the standard basket type?

My Uncle Alan (RIP) used to put forks with forks, spoons with spoons, etc…clearly, this is a faulty idea as spoons like to spoon but I never told him that he was insane to his face; instead, I just said so on my blog years after his passing.

We always threw ours in willy nilly, but facing DOWN like normal humans.

On this last visit to GA when I had much quality time with my girl Kelly, I noticed when I was emptying the dishwasher that I was being stabbed by forks and butter knives. I know, they’re for butter, but they are a bit sharp on my delicate phalanges.

I had to have a heart to heart with Kelly: “You do remember that one day when the guys leave us (and not by divorce) and we were going to live together in our final years? Well, I’m going to have to retract that plan unless you learn how to load the silverware without injuring me”

That looks SO dangerous!

She tried to defend her actions by stating that the flatware is able to get cleaner with her method. I’m not buying what she’s selling.

For the duration of our visit, she came around to my method which is good ’cause I’d hate to have to throw away a 33 year friendship over something this trivial serious.

I suppose I frightened her with my threat because a few days after I arrived home this thank you note arrived in the mail.

And there was no mention of the Georgia dishwasher/silverware/incident of 2021.

So, do you load yours like a normal human, all facing down? Or are we going to have to break up?

XO

If It’s A Numbers Game, Do I Want To Be A Winner Or A Loser?

Do you enjoy reading good news? I hope so, even if that good news solely pertains to ME. 

Do you recall back in November when I had my bloodwork tested, and my cholesterol numbers had shot up by 41 points? I can 100% blame the pandemic and my slacking because of said pandemic. Well, I vented about it to all of you and, you guys, being the best of the best, had some kind & encouraging words to say about it. 

Thank you, thank you and, thank you. 

I was terrified of going on statins. Honestly, I just can’t imagine being on medication daily. Listen, I know many people NEED to be on medication, and it’s not a big deal, but for me, it felt like a big deal. Therefore, I buckled down as I’ve never buckled down. 

Here are the things that I was ingesting either on the daily or several times a week that I gave up and how I adjusted, if you care to know:

  • Cheese-GONE (A few slices of cheese used to be a favorite afternoon snack)
  • Cottage cheese-GONE. (Oh, how I loved cottage cheese for breakfast)
  • Bacon-(Coach still prepares it 3-4 times a week, and I think I’ve had 4 pieces over the last 4 months)
  • Dairy creamer-GONE (I don’t even miss it. I love the vanilla Silk Oat creamer.)
  • Red meat & pork-GONE. 
  • Eggs with yolks-GONE. ( I DO prepare egg whites with veggies about 3-4x a week for breakfast)
  • Yogurt-GONE. (I loved greek yogurt.)
  • Butter-GONE. (I wasn’t a big butter user before, but now I ONLY use olive oil for cooking or this for spreading)

I also started eating more fruit, which I used to fear because of SUGAR. Fear no more. 

I’ve adjusted my meals so much, and at first, it felt weird, but now it’s the norm. Here’s one thing about me, and maybe you were this way too. For many, many years, I had a fear of carbs. Carbs are bad. Carbs come from satan himself. Now? I do have some carbs because I’m so limited elsewhere. I’ve added Raisin Cinnamon English muffins to most of my morning meals, and I freaking love them. Why was I so scared of bread? Pasta? Potatoes? Now, I don’t go overboard, but I do make a bit of pasta here and there, and we both enjoy a sweet potato (or rice) with dinner. It took some time to get rid of this fear of carbs, and I feel effing liberated. 

Can we go all Cher and turn back time for a minute? I meant to share this back in December when it occurred, but I didn’t. The Coach insisted I go and get a full-body scan. This is a proactive step and not ordered by my Dr. (we paid out of pocket, but it wasn’t as crazy as I thought it would cost). They checked me from my brain to my toes; with a CT scan of my heart. (Spoiler alert: it’s lovely) My heart shows NO calcium buildup, which is what usually occurs when people have high cholesterol. 

They also told me I have ovarian cysts & fibroids in my uterus. {BTW: NO PRIVACY with this scan even if I was FULLY dressed} This is not unusual for me, though. I’m continually growing all sorts of barnacles inside. I’ve since had a follow-up ultrasound, and all is well. This test also confirmed my suspicion that I HAVE A HERNIA; I didn’t really want to acknowledge this, but alas, it is there, and there it will stay. I’m sure it happened when the Coach made me carry something heavy. That’s my story, and I’m sticking to it.

I had bloodwork done again last week, and then I visited my Dr. this week, and let me tell you, I was ANXIOUS. I kept telling Coach: If my numbers have not gone down after ALL the changes I’ve made, well, then I’m done like dinner. Give me an RX ’cause there is nothing else I can do. 

Guess what. 

Can you guess?

But it’s fun to guess!

My overall cholesterol number went from 259 to 225 in just over four months.

And my good cholesterol was excellent; I’m practically an overachiever at this point. 

That change with the fact that there is NO calcium around my pretty heart, well I can forge on, hope to improve even more and, NOT go on medication. 

Also, I did not gain weight with my dietary changes; I’m down about 5lbs. 

If you could see me now, I’m doing A Happy Dance. Well, I’m glad you can’t see me, though, because this bra I’m wearing is NOT made for happy dancing. 

 

So. Are you happy for me enough to share some good news from your end?

If you need me, I’ll be out in the garden dancing like no one is watching because they aren’t.

XOXO