Holy Anole!

A few weeks ago I spied with my little eye something green moving in the oak tree outside my office window.

If I could see it from this distance, through the shutters and screen, I knew it was something out of the ordinary and you bet your sweet bippy I went in for a closer inspection.

Well, isn’t that special? We have lizards galore in Florida. Tons of them outside and some get inside; I swear there might be a Lizard Labor and Delivery in our master bath as I find babies all the time.

But THIS is a different lizard.

I sent pics in our family text thread and Lolo confirmed immediately that this is a Native Anole. (She wasn’t nick-named The Bug Girl as a kid for no reason) I said, I’ve seen anoles before, but never this big. She thought maybe I’d only seen females which can get up to 5″ but the males are 8″. I was thinking this might be a bit bigger than that, but didn’t give it another thought.

Then just two days ago I saw him again through the window and thought to myself that he must have taken up residence in that particular oak tree. No biggie.

On Sunday morning, I noticed something on top of my bird feeder under our cypress tree outside my other office window. Was it a bird? Was it a plane? Nope. It was huge and bright green!

I grabbed my cell phone and asked the Coach to come and see The Lizard. By the time he came to my office, the guy was gone. Man, he was BIG. Much bigger than the one I’d seen twice in the Oak tree and I went outside to locate the Giant.

It took me a minute to find him in the tree; he’s a blender. Can you see his HUGE eyeball? The better to see you with…

Ya’ll, this guy must be a foot long which led me to do a little bit of intel since This Anole reached 8″ and then said: Hold my beer.


(I was today years old that I learned that you always say species and not specie; even in singular form)

In my research this guy is an Knight Anole which is Native to Cuba and invasive. I was curious to see what they eat…and I gasped upon learning: spiders, flies, crickets, small beetles, moths, butterflies, small slugs, worms, ants, and nesting birds. Um, we’re gonna need to enact a diet restriction on my property.

NOT SO FUN FACT: they can grow to 20″.

He didn’t care for my prying eyes…and the sun was bright and for a minute there I could not see where I was supposed to be looking.

Notice how he puffs out his dewlap at me. That either means he wants to fight or mate. Please let it mean fighting.

I also learned today that there is a name for the weird thing is under lizards’ necks. Dewlap.

Well, that’s the nature lesson for today, so excuse me while I try to figure out how to eradicate remove them from my vicinity because guess where butterflies roost at night? In trees. ūüė©


Things I don’t want to see or hear or have people do.

Much like the sun damage from my youth, I need to get some things off my chest.

Prepare yourself for ComplainaPalooza 2020

Airport or restaurant check-ins on Facebook. 
Some peeps JUST post the check-in as their status. 
No one cares. Literally, NO ONE CARES.

I understand posting a pic of yourself with your people at a restaurant, or the airport because you’re excited about a trip, that is acceptable. (to me, but this is my blog, so my rules).¬†

DO not check-in. Not one person cares.

Honestly, I could go on all day about my FB complaints, but it’s futile. I just avoid FB when peeps annoy me. ¬†For example, when someone shares 147 pictures from their afternoon at Chic Fil A having lunch with a friend.¬†

Has anyone heard of sharing just the highlights? 

Phrases that have run their course: 
*Current situation
*The struggle is real
*Said no one ever

One that has bothered me since the day I was born; I think I came out of my Mother’s lady¬†
kitchen being bothered about this one.
When you’re on the phone and you are giving someone your phone number or¬†
credit card number and as you are verbalizing said numbers (if you even pause for a 
second) they say OK, but they say OK WHILE YOU’RE TRYING TO MOVE¬†
ONTO THE REST OF THE DIGITS and then they don’t get the correct digits¬†
because they are saying OK while you’re trying to give them the digits.¬†

And exclamation points.
I mean, exclamation points!!! 
On texts, emails or notes written on homemade vellum paper delivered via 
messenger pigeons. 
We’re swimming in the sea of exclamation points. Are we really that excited? Are we angry?¬†
Are we cheerleaders? 
And it’s not just Millenials; I’ve corresponded with people in their 70’s.¬†
Why is everyone so darn excited when I thought most of the country was depressed.
Wait, maybe that’s just all the RX commercials I see.¬†

Ads on blogs. 
They slow the page load to the speed of smell. 
I understand you’re trying to make a few bucks; generally, a blog with ads is not one that
I’m going to enjoy so as soon as I see ads, I’m out.¬†

*Drops mic and heads to the laundry pile*

I’m sure you’re thinking now, wow, that Suz seems so nice and pleasant, and today she’s full¬†
of crap complaints.
Well, you’re right.¬†
But, once I purge my complaints, it’s all good in the hood.¬†

I’m Susie Sunshine once again, at your service.¬†

C’mon. YOU know you’ve got something to get off your chest; purging is good for the soul.¬†

See you later {tonight} alligator

At least once a week for as long as I can remember I dream about alligators.
Sometimes snakes too, but mostly alligators.

The other night they were able to climb up a two-story building; the second floor was all windows that slid open. I was busy telling everyone to NOT open the sliding windows or else the alligators WILL come right inside.
It was all very stressful because of course, no one wanted to listen to me.
Why is that? I’m a helper. A voice of insanity reason.

Perhaps the news brings on some of my dream antics-I wish we could make some of this up.¬†¬†An alligator broke through a kitchen window, entered the house and made a mess. Including breaking wine bottles. If a gator tried to destroy my wine, I’d have a handbag, belt, and new shoes.

Or could it be from the day there was a baby alligator on the softball field during a game? 

Maybe it’s from the time my Dad took us to Gatorland Zoo? God forbid he took us to a normal theme park…hello Disney is just down the road Dad.

Suz, step-sister Lisa, brother Mark

Perhaps I should stop fighting with the gator ‘in my brain’ thing and just adopt one. This loon has a pet gator who she dresses up and he rides an ATV.¬†

Photo from ABC news. 

Please dear lawd…why do all the lunatics live in Florida? Does the heat make us¬†them insane?¬†

Last night as I was cooking dinner I looked up and saw another gator just casually wandered into a garage in Fort Myers. 

If you believe the hippie voodoo stuff, my constant dreams about alligators can mean I have something to fear in my life. A foretelling of doom and gloom. 
I’m¬†calling BS on that.
Plus, I’ve been having alligator dreams my whole life.
I think it’s just a Florida thing; we’re all nuts.

Anything scary invading your sleeping hours? 

I’m all about that Dog, that Dog.

I’ve been MIA from the blogosphere….if anyone even noticed.¬†
An update of sorts. 
We’re up to our eyeballs in dog care. Ozzie is still hanging in there….but he’s become extremely needy. As in, we are up at all hours of the night with the eating and the bathrooming. He’s on several medications that both make him hungry and thirsty…which means more bathrooming.¬†
I can’t remember if I wrote that he has both an enlarged heart and two large tumors/masses in his brain; his time is limited.¬†
 The Coach and I leave notes on who has done what at what time. 
We’ve added green beans and broccoli to his food and snacks; very filling without too many calories. Turns out both dogs love their greens…as do the cats! Who knew?
We are both very thankful that I’m not committed outside the house most days…that would not work for Ozzie’s situation. Right now, I’m not able to leave the house for more than 2 hours at a time.
Needless to say, getting up at all hours of the night does not make for pleasant Suz. 
¬†I’m certainly not looking for sympathy here, nor do I want to make anyone sad….this is what you do when you’ve made a commitment to an animal.¬†
I am So thankful that we have the resources to take good care of him and I’m also thankful it’s not my child who is sick; that would be much worse. Also, if I made my child pee and poop in the yard, well then my neighbors would most likely complain.¬†
 The Coach and I spent a (much needed) long weekend in Vegas and the girls had to be on dog duty. 
Trying to make sure someone was here at all times was hard with both of their work/school schedules. 
The Coach made a spreadsheet to cover all bases; one day I had my house/pet sitter come by for four hours when the girls were not available.
It takes a village!
I hope all of you are doing well and are getting lots of uninterrupted sleep!!!