Can we all take a moment and appreciate my healthy hips?

That might sound odd to some people, but most of you because weirdlings attract weirdlings.

At my last Lady Dr. appointment, while poking my parts, my Dr. ordered a bone density test and I fulfilled my obligation to my bones last week. Have you had this done? It’s the easiest test I’ve ever taken; had they offered me this instead of algebra in HS, I would have been the freakin’ Valedictorian.

It literally takes less than five minutes, I can lay down for the entire process, I don’t have to un-clothe myself and I can talk while it’s being done. That’s what I call a trifecta. I know, that’s not what trifecta means at all, but this is my blog and I have my own language, so get on board.

I had one five years ago, but I don’t remember the results or if my Dr. even gave me my results, you see, I’ve slept a lot of hours since then so things tend to get fuzzy. But this time I was a willing and woke participant at our appointment.

Y’all: I got an A+.

I have great bones; like an old house that just needs some spackle paint.

Like a workhorse with many years left in her; saddle me up!

I’m cleared for falling down and probably not breaking a hip.

Have you seen hips like those? Take that SHAKIRA, SHAKIRA.

Am I being too humerus with you?

In all honesty, I was kind of worried going in because my Mom, God bless her, she was the incredible shrinking lady as she aged. I think she started at 5’4 or 5’5, but by the time she was 70 she was about 4″11. I figured that was going to be my fate, and honestly, it ain’t over yet, the fat lady has NOT sung, so I still might shrink.

My Dr. said that most women start to lose bone mass at this age, so mine were looking HAWWWTTT as HELL.

Ok, she didn’t say that, but I’m sure she was thinking it; I could just tell she was admiring my amazing bone structure.

She credited me with getting enough calcium in my diet (I do not take a calcium supplement) and of course consistent strength training, which I started about 6 years ago. You can’t really tell by looking at me because ‘menopause waistline’, but I pick up heavy things three days a week at the gym and that is good for my bones. Your bones. Everybody’s bones.

Now, when I see someone looking in my direction at Costco or Publix, I know what they are thinking: DAMNNN, look at the cartilage on that chick.

So, now I’m just bragging about everydamnthing. Next week we’ll cover my overly organized Tupperware Snapware drawer.

Kidding. Unless that’s the kind of thing that does it for you.

It certainly does it for me; that and good bones. Goodness, I can’t stop touching them! MY BONES, NOT MY Snapware.

Damn it, you caught me, I was lying, I like touching both.

Happy Friday my friends! Whatcha doing this weekend? Tell me about your bones. Or just about anything good that you found out this week.


16 thoughts on “Can we all take a moment and appreciate my healthy hips?

  1. Wait, was this an x-ray? With clothes on? I haven’t done this test yet but I’m sure it’s in my future.

    Your comparison to algebra made me chuckle. I was actually good at algebra and what a relief because I use it all the time. Without it I don’t think my career would’ve taken off the way it did.

    I used to break my fingers on the regular- in sports at least, not just a clumsy mishap with a pencil and a tough algebra problem.

    I think those days are behind me- breaking fingers in sports that is. The sports world is not the same without my wimpy participation.

    Glad you’ve got good bones and I hope you don’t shrink.


  2. Ha ha! Your posts make me laugh out loud! I agree that bone density test is the easiest test ever! I had one quite a while ago and am probably due for another one soon! Idon’t take a calcium supplement either but I am a dairy fanatic so I figure that probably enough!


  3. I’m jealous. I’m 61 and haven’t had a single BDT! WTF? I feel like my MD is sleeping on the job.

    I will, however, stack my plastic container organization up against yours any old time. I store mine with lids ON.

    Let’s go.


  4. Maddie

    “Look at the cartilage on that chick!“
    Oh em gee. Pee in your pants funny post. Thank you! I need this today! Congrats on your beautiful bone density and killer cartilage. (*googles strength training* 😉


    1. Maddie, thank you for the compliment, making people pee their pants IS my goal.
      Strength training, weight-bearing exercises, TRX, also known as building muscle. Most women shy away from it and only do cardio, but it’s so good for our aging bodies.


  5. I cannot WAIT to get one of these done. I get test anxiety so I just know I shall do much better on these kinds of tests.
    I begin my menopause Wednesday so when do I need to start taking bone vitamins? Thursday morning?? I WANT TO GET AN A ON THE TEST.

    I am an overachiever.
    Just kidding.
    Are there such things a bone vitamins? Or do I just drink a lot of milk and eat a lot of cheese? Because I think I have got that covered.


    1. If I were you, I’d be proactive and start taking the bone pills on Wednesday! Why wait?
      I realized last night that one of the supplements I DO take is Vitamin D3 and it says on the bottle FOR BONE HEALTH. I honestly didn’t realize it was for my BONES. Nothing gets past me….but I don’t take actual ‘calcium’ pills. Or maybe I do, it’s all a mystery apparently.
      Cheese, cheese, and more cheese. I eat cheese on the daily and also yogurt and cottage cheese…I love me some curds.


  6. Pingback: Crispy Tender Fingers. – Busy Bee Productions

  7. Glad you got a good report! It’s good to know all these years of lifting weights might benefit me after all. I have yet to get a bone scan. My Mom had osteoporosis so it’s something I’ll have to look into.


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s