A Hairy Tale As Old As Time. Or A Hairy Tale {At Least} As Old As Me.

I have dreams at least twice a month about hairy legs. My hairy legs. In my dream I’ll be somewhere in public, look down and the hair on my legs is about 1/2 inch long and I’m horrified. In some dreams I only had hair on the backs of my knees, which is really interesting if you think about it.

My daughter might have a Masters degree in psychology, but I’m usually great at analyzing myself, but the ‘dreams about hairy legs’ took me almost 50 years to figure out.

In real life, present day, I could care less if there is hair on my legs, but that wasn’t always the case and I believe this is why those particular dreams still come to me.

Put on your seatbelt because I’m driving the WAY BACK machine and I’ve had wine.

I believe my hairy legs memory starts when I was in first grade; you know how memories can become fuzzy over time. I remember walking to the bus stop and looking down at my skinny little girl legs and noticing the hair on them was unruly. Long and unruly.

I did what any normal person would do: I stopped walking and took care of the situation by licking my palm with saliva and ran it along the hair on my legs trying to smooth it down.

Crisis averted.

Only it wasn’t. That was just a temporary solution to the problem as I noticed either later that day or the next that the issue was still there.

WHAT TO DO?

I think I complained to my Mom many times about this and she poo-poo’ed my worries. You know how moms are.

Finally either I just i figured it out, or Beverly told me to do this: I used some Avon lotion to assist with he unruliness.

But in the end, this really only helped a bit more than my saliva. In my eyes the hair was an eyesore.

If you think I grabbed a razor and shaved the hair, you’d be wrong; Mom said I couldn’t shave my legs until I was 13, which is funny because there really weren’t that many rules being enforced in our home.

THIRTEEN? How will I survive that long? I felt like I looked like the Monkey my Mom always said I was. (I loved to climb on everything)

BLAME IT ON BEV FOR MY NEXT SOLUTION

My Mom was a waitress and she always wore knee-high panty hose under her pants along with her orthopedic nurse shoes.

Do you remember the L’eggs? All those plastic eggs are still sitting in the landfill..

My plan was pretty genius if you really think about it.

I remember finding a pair of my Moms knee-highs and putting them on. They came up pretty high, like to my thigh, but when I started walking, they would slide down my skinny little girl legs. Hmmmmm…how in the world could I get them to stay up?

I’m {almost} A GENIUS.

I found some safety pins and pinned the falling down knee-highs to my underwear.

PROBLEM SOLVED.

I remember walking to the bus stop wearing a cute dress, happy as a well fed monkey because my legs were now as smooth as silk when my plan suddenly started to fall down apart.

As I was walking, my underwear were slip, sliding down. I pulled them up, only to have them slowly slip, slide down again.

My plan had holes in it {just like my head} and I failed again to cover up my hairy monkey legs.

You do realize that I tried to invent Garter belts for kids, right?

Where I learned this Garter Belt idea from is beyond me, but since I didn’t have much supervision, I probably saw someone wearing a garter belt on HBO or at a strip joint.

I’m just kidding, we didn’t have HBO.

I HELD OFF TURNING INTO EDWARD SCISSORS HANDS UNTIL I WAS ELEVEN

Circa 5th grade.

I might have gotten over the hairy leg issue for the time being after my garter belt contraption didn’t work…but by the time I was eleven I took matters into my own hands and shaved my legs, even the backs of my knees.

If you think that shaving my legs was a smooth situation, you’d be wrong. I’m lucky I didn’t bleed to death because there was a LOT of blood as I was a novice with a razor.

Later that day when Bev came home and saw the crime scene in the bathroom she cussed and probably tossed one of those 10lb orthopedic nurse shoes in my general direction.

Hey, a HAIRY girl has got to do what a HAIRY girl has to do.

Not Letting History Repeat Itself

Well lo and behold, I gave birth to two hairy AND adorable little monkeys as well. They both begged to shave their legs early on, but I insisted that they waited until they were at least in middle school before they took to the razor. I recall we/they tried the NAIR hair removal cream first and almost died of chemical inhalation. (I can still smell it!)

I texted them yesterday asking how old they were when I let them shave and they confirmed middle school; so 11? 12? But at the beginning I would only let them shave from their ankles to the top of their knees.

Why? What is the thought process here? Did I want my girls to mimic a cricket?

I have no recollection at this point, but they both confessed that they currently don’t shave above the knee all the time. Perhaps I started a trend.

So shave share with me some deets.

Did you have hairy legs as a kid? If so were you embarrassed?

Have you ever heard of NOT shaving above the knee?

After typing that last line, I can NOW only picture someone shaving ABOVE THE KNEE and leaving the lower portion hairy. Guess what I’ll be dreaming about tonight…

XOXO

37 thoughts on “A Hairy Tale As Old As Time. Or A Hairy Tale {At Least} As Old As Me.”

  1. I remember L’eggs and the toxic chemical aroma of Nair ( what was in that stuff, nuclear sludge? ). As I was a bit of a tomboy when young I don’t remember any specific leg hair trauma… but secretly borrowed my fathers razor sometime in middle school with similar bloody results. Why we thought legs that looked like they’d been attacked by a tiger was more attractive than a little fuzz, I’m sure I don’t know.
    But oh, that fifth grade photo? I can see the evil glint in your eye even back then.
    🤣

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That Nair can’t be good for anything; the chemicals are so harsh they make hair fall off your body!

      Me? Evil Glint? What is this nonsense you speak of? 😏

      Liked by 1 person

  2. First, I’m surprised that a kid with blonde hair would even notice the hair on her leg?! I have dark hair, but I don’t remember it bothering me until puberty hit and I really needed to shave my armpits. My mom gave me one of those round shavers (Flicker) and I was definitely told to not shave above the knee!! What was that all about?

    Those pictures are a hoot!!! As is your memories of all that. My constant dreams revolve around not being able to find a bathroom with privacy. I’d love to get that analyzed because it was only ever a problem in my life when my kids were little.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I remember the round razor! Even being blonde, the hair on my legs was a tad darker, but oh, so wild too!

      I’ve had a few dreams about trying to find a private bathroom too with fail. We must dig deep to figure that one out.

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  3. Absolutely remember L’eggs! Ohhhhh, pre-teen angst. You couldn’t pay me enough money to revisit those days! Didn’t have hairy leg issues, but instead decided my feet were elephant-sized compared to all the tiny, compact girls around me and repeatedly stuffed my feet into shoes that were too small.
    I think there was always some urban myth out there about not shaving above the knees because the hair would grow back twice as thick. Not true.
    On a different note, I am positive we had exactly the same chair from your first picture. -Jenn

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Those pre-teen years were a tough time to be a human for sure. If only we KNEW that we’d get through it to the other side.
      Crazy about your foot size worries!!
      From what I remember that chair rocked and swiveled. I’m sure it was destroyed after a few years of my brother and I rocking AND swivelling.

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  5. Wow! You really had the mind of a troubleshooter. I’m giving Little Suz a Standing O (well, in my mind from my chair up here in NEO). I was rooting for the knee-hi’s + underpants thing like crazy.

    I am of Eastern European descent with very dark hair and very strict parents. It took some embarrassment in junior high before I decided to take matters into my own hands and shave my legs while both parents were at work. I had no idea what I was doing, and I used a firm hand and started on my shin–on top of the bone–promptly removing a swath of skin. Terrified, I tried to stop the bleeding by applying clear nail polish.

    Let’s just leave it all right there.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Nance, I still have scars on my shin bone from the same thing. I didn’t know you were supposed to use shaving cream or even soap. *sigh*

      Pretty clever about the nail polish…I mean, it worked to stop runs on pantyhose. Right?

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  6. I, too, took matters into my own hands around 10 or 11. My mom wasn’t mad but she told me I would regret it because once you start shaving you will always be shaving. She was correct. I can’t stand stubble and shave my legs every single day – even in the dead of winter. My daughter hates shaving and does it only when absolutely necessary. I definitely give her a hard time about her hairy legs and arm pits.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Every day? Wow. I can’t imagine.
      Now that I’m a bit ‘more mature’ the hair doesn’t grow as fast so I basically shave if I’m going to have a pedicure.

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  7. Ha ha! Your post made me laugh out loud! My mom didn’t let me shave until I was 13. I remember in middle school all my friends were shaving their legs and I couldn’t! I did sneak and shave one knee once and then had to hide my knees from my mom! My daughter just started shaving without asking me which I actually didn’t mind! I rarely shave above the knee but when I do I always wonder why I don’t every time! P.S I can’t comment on you blog without using my FB account anymore!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I’m laughing about you shaving ONE knee and then having to hide it.

      Hmmm…weird on the commenting thing. Let me look into that…

      Like

  8. This post (and comment section) are like a trip down memory lane. L’eggs (why was it French??), Nair, the round razor.
    Good times.
    I do believe I have remained nose hair-less to this day because of all those years of inhaling Nair.
    I still don’t shave my thigh hair in winter. There’s absolutely no point in it. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  9. Haha you came up with a good plan being so young even though it didn’t quite work. I don’t shave above the knee. My Mom didn’t either and she had no thigh hair at all. Mine is barely there but blonde. I do a quick shave below the knee every single day though. I pass the razor really fast so just takes a minute or two. Can’t stand the cricket leg feeling at night when I’m sleeping! I used nair on my girls at first too and it surprisingly doesn’t smell as bad as it used to.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Since I am a wise and ancient Elder, I remember when pantyhose was not yet invented. My first pair of nylons were held up by garters hanging off, not a garter belt, but a “panty girdle” that chubby girls wore back in the dark ages. I would have been about 11-12 at the time, I believe. I was not allowed to wear nylons before then. About a year or two later, pantyhose was invented, thank goodness.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The panty girdle sounds horrid!
      I remember wearing pantyhose to work and when we were working on a budget back in the day, pantyhose had its own column.

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  11. Great post and great photos. 🙂 I think the shaving up to the knee is quite common. I’m guilty of it during the winter. During the summer months, I tackle the whole leg. Ha ha!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Being Floridians, we don’t really get a break from wearing shorts. The good news is that as you get older the hair on your legs is finer or just less. It’s hard to tell but I can go a long time without shaving my legs now. One benefit of getting old.

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  12. On a train traveling to Vienna from Budapest (OK – that was hours ago, but I had to sign back into WordPress apparently or my train internet connection was not really strong) and this post makes me chuckle. I remember L’eggs. I also remember teaching myself to shave my legs. As the 3rd girl, I think some things were just assumed after awhile and no one gave me instructions. Let’s just say I could’ve used SOME instructions when it came to certain unwanted hair. Ahem, such as the bikini line?

    My girls noticed their leg hair when they had to apply let tanner for Irish dancing competitions. Curly was bothered by it and she was blond. I told her to chill out, no one else would notice. She did shave her leg hair one day without my permission. Mini might have helped. Afterward I WAS upset, because she shaved her legs all the way to the very tip top of her legs. Not sure if it is a myth, but at some point I was told that shaving often and everywhere would make it come in like crazy. After that she agreed to only deal with the bottom half of her leg. I think she was about 10 or 11.

    I dreamt last night that a kid in my RE class instructed me to take H and D back and they came BACK. Might qualify as a nightmare.

    Also, the idea of you making yourself garter belts and having your underwear pulled down on the way to the bus killed me. You have such a sly look in your eye in that 6th grade photo. It screams, WATCH OUT WORLD, I CREATED GARTER BELTS WHEN I WAS KNEE HIGH TO A GRASSHOPPER.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. The shaving hair/coming back in thicker is a myth. If that actually worked, I’d shave my head!

      I hope your trip is amazing!!

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  13. I remember my leg hair being bleached quite blond when I was a child…but then I was raised by Dutch parents who threw their kids outside all day every day, no matter what the weather. A tanned child with sun-bleached hair (moi) was the epitome of health, to them. (And my doctors wondered how it was I developed a basal cell skin cancer at the unbelievably young age of 30!) I remember starting to shave my legs at some point, but the date escapes me. I also remember L’Eggs and such. Me and my friends wore pantyhose all the time, even under our jeans. They were the precursor to Spanx and we didn’t even know it. We just knew we liked the look it gave us (and we were average sized young things back then too…with nothing to suck in or smooth over!)
    You definitely look like you were up to no good in that photo, Suz! But that just makes my inner 5th grader want to be your friend, for sure!

    Deb

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Yes, all that time in the sun wasn’t good for us in the end. I lived in Florida with a lot of time spent at the beach and I don’t remember wearing sunscreen until I was in my 20’s. I’m lucky I have SKIN.

      I remember wearing pantyhose under my jeans at some point which is bizarre since I was a size zero until after I had kids.

      We totally would have been friends in fifth grade. 😃

      Liked by 1 person

  14. Oh the memories you have stirred up! I think I was about 13 or so when I started shaving. I think I know the thought process you had about your girls only shaving up to the knee…nine times out of ten most of the nicks/cuts I’ve ever had were around the knee. Luckily, I’m not that hairy so these days, I can usually get by shaving once a week. In the summer, maybe two or three times…if I can be bothered.

    I applaud young Suz for her ingenious idea of creating a girdle for children! I loved that.

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    1. The knee area is precarious!

      Yes, thanks for recognizing what a genius I was. Not sure what has happened since then…

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  15. Enjoyed your story! I laughed the predicament you were in when your safety-pinned knee-highs started pulling your underwear down. 😊 Either my childhood legs weren’t that hairy or I didn’t notice if they were. But when staying with my aunt’s family one summer, about 11 years old, my cousin, who was a year older than me, and I “borrowed” her older brother’s electric razor and shaved our legs. The next morning we giggled when we heard him bellowing about all the peach fuzz stuck in his razor and demanding his mother do something about it. I think we got a lecture, but recall no serious repercussions.

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  16. I have heard of not shaving above your knees. As a teenager I had awful acne so I went to a dermatologist. He was very old and he disapproved of young girls shaving their legs above the knee. He felt it was unseemly for proper girls like me who he felt should be wearing long skirts to my knees. My mother heard this, rolled her eyes, then found me a different younger dermatologist who had no problem with miniskirts and short shorts.

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    1. The dermatologist sounds like a caveman and your leg hair and skirt lengths should have been of NO concern of his. *raises fists to the sky*

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  17. Oh GOD yes. I am a fair-skinned girl with very very dark hair, and I was so self-conscious. I remember using Nair (or maybe Neet? One of those) and grossssss did it smell terrible. Then I remember shaving my legs, but I didn’t know to use cream or even to shave in the shower. I just dry-shaved my legs and of course, had major razor burn. I always thought if I had girls I would be helpful and encouraging if they wanted to shave their legs, as my mother was NOT. Not at all. The cousin who was closest to me in age was blonde, and had hardly any leg hair, so that was no help at all.

    One of my girlfriends is Guatemalan, and her husband is Indian, and I remember her saying when her daughter was born that she would be sure to encourage laser hair removal on her 13th birthday, so she didn’t have to go through what she went through in terms of teasing about her moustache and body hair.

    Ah, it’s tricky being a hairy girl!

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    1. it is tricky to be a hairy girl. Luckily as I’ve aged, the hair is finer and there’s much less of it…now if only it wouldn’t show up on my upper lip, that would be awesome!

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  18. Ha…am I your only male reader? Maybe the others are too afraid to comment. I’ll admit, I don’t have much to contribute to this thread. My legs were, and still are, hairy. But I’m okay with that.

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