Watch Out: There’s A New Negotiator In Town!

Suz stretches into a forward lunge left. Then shifts to a forward lunge right. Twists at the waist, left and right to loosen things up…

Time to put on my Mama Bragging Pants!

Many months ago, Lolo was asked by her Lieutenant to attend a training course and take on a Leadership Role of FTO. (Field Training Officer)

When she shared that with us, I immediately thought of the movie Training Day with Denzel and Ethan Hawke . Alas, that movie was about crookedness and corruption; our girl is neither of those. But the movie was good. Which reminds me I need to look for movies showing Good Police Officers as most of them are just that.

She happily obliged, participated in the classes, passed with flying colors and added FTO to her resume’ along with her regular Deputy position. (She’s currently on the night shift, on a mostly ‘walking beat’ in the city center. I’m sure you can imagine how thrilled I am about that.)

More recently, she was approached by the Higher Ups, asking if she wanted to try out for a CNU position. (Crisis Negotiation Unit)

In case you don’t remember, or you’re new here, Lolo earned two Bachelors degrees (Criminal Justice & Psychology) and was recruited by the Sherriff’s Department after her internship in the Major Crimes Unit; they paid for her to attend the Police Academy. She worked for them for a few years, then decided to return to school, earning her Master’s Degree in Legal & Forensic Psychology.

She’s been biding her time as a Deputy to move into a position where her heart really was, and we were not surprised that she was chosen for the unit. She is still a Deputy working her regular schedule but will be called in when needed for something along the lines of Hostage Situations, Suicide Attempts, etc….You know, when they need the big guns brains.

Apparently she’s been doing pro bono work on for sister for years… 😳

And if you thought it was all about the job, it’s also about the outfit.

I nearly spit out my water at Lindsay’s Flea Market remark. Is everyone’s family this funny and weird?

Did The Shatner get cool tactical pants? I think not.

And since I struggled to get those bragging pants on, I’ll also share that Linds has made huge strides in her job. She (reluctantly) took a position at our company two years ago and from what I see she’s not regretted it as she is thriving both personally and professionally. She’s moved up into a Supervisory position and is handling all the tasks that have been tossed her way, and from what I hear, new things are tossed daily. She’s doing incredibly well and is such an asset to the Administrative Department.

Thank goodness her position isn’t as dangerous, nor does she carry loaded weapons, but, if you make her angry enough, she will pull out a Permanent Marker and write mean words on a post-it note for all to see.

I’m so incredibly proud of them both, but wouldn’t hate it if Lolo decided to work as a Mental Health Counselor, Pre School Teacher or her Little Sister’s Assistant.

Anyone in your family risk their lives on a daily basis as a First Responder, Office Staff or A Professional Toddler Handler? I suppose everything IS dangerous!

Have you been able to work with family with good results? Like, zero murdering?


My Milkshake Brings All The Dogs To The Yard & My Citrus Brings All The Nature To The Yard.

Peanut has a trainer that comes once a week and we’ve been working on Sit (she’s got it!), Stay (she’s about 50%), and down (about 25%). My goal is for her to have good manners; like not jumping up on people, going to her ‘place’ when she needs to be out of our business, not eating our shoes or my plants and not yanking my arm out of the socket while on the leash. You know, just behave nicely like my other children.

Other than the above commands, I’ve been working feverishly on getting her house trained. She is very food motivated (same girl, same) so I reward her with tiny treats when she potties outside. I hate to admit this, but she does have the absolute worst habit of eating her own poop. I know. I can hardly stand to share that with the general public because it’s embarrassing…but this girl came from weird circumstances and this behavior is not unheard of, but it’s new for us. We have to be diligent to catch her when she has a number two or else. To quote Brittney & Katy: Oops, I did it again! I ate my poop and I liked it!

Gag. Bleh.

I always have a poop bag and some treats on me when we’re outside (which is a lot!) so I’m ready for number one or two. 😉 Occasionally, I’m wearing a skort or workout pants that don’t have pockets, so I tuck the poop bag in the waist of my daily uniform. To be perfectly clear, because I know you people, the poop bag that is tucked in the waistband of my pants IS clean and empty.

But, where does a diligent Dog Mom carry dog treats when she has no pockets? DUH, you simply tuck a few little kibbles in the top of your sports bra like a normal person.

C’mon. I’m sure some o you have kept worse things in your bra…

If My Milkshake brings all the boys to the yard, imagine if they knew I had cookies too!

Peanut, exhausted from being alive on Monday.

Fun fact: It was after our third training lesson that we realized that my dog trainer actually dated Lolo several years ago. My dog trainer pondered on this for a few minutes and then said: Is it weird that I dated your daughter?

Me thinking it wasn’t until he asked: Well, NOW IT IS!

Do you ever watch the CBS’s Sunday Morning News? It’s the only news I ever watch because it’s mostly Special Interest Pieces and they always end the program with a minute of Nature.

I’ll end this post (and maybe cleanse your brain) with a moment in Suz’s backyard. Our lime tree is full of blooms. The monarchs, bees and a few little birds are loving it all.

Now that the The Cookies In My Bra technique has come to light, are you embarrassed to know me?


Sweet Dreams Are Made Of This, And This Is Always Weird.

Thank you all for your advice and concern on my tiredness last week. I love that I have such a caring and kind group of humans on my side. I didn’t want to believe that my hair supplement Nutrafol was the culprit as I’d been taking it for a few months and the tiredness started more recently, but since I’ve been taking it at night instead of morning, I’m not dragging quite as much during the daylight hours.

Honestly, it was easier to grasp that I was dying than to think of giving up on my hair. 😩

Speaking of things happening while I’m in bed…this happened about a month ago.

I was outside laying on the ground looking at the amazing sky; it was full of clouds that were in a wispy line formation; very soft. My MIL Judy and a child were with me. Was It Lolo or Linds? I’m not sure. Soon, while looking at the clouds, we see a large dog going by, so far up and away from us but I could tell it was a dog and he had wooden wings attached to his body and he was carrying a woman and a child. We marveled at this for a few minutes. Then further away we saw an airplane and even though we didn’t say it out loud, we all hoped the airplane and the dog plane didn’t collide. 

I was laying next to someone on a bed having a discussion, was it Judy? Yes, I think it was again Judy. She remarked that her friend (who we watched through the window, getting into a work truck) had to wake up each day at 6:30 because his therapist said that if you sleep later than 6:30, you’re a bum. I said appallingly: I like to sleep until at least 7:30; what does that make me? I’m not a bum, I just like to sleep in the morning; morning is when I get my best sleep! 

Next we are inside a home having a discussion. Judy mentions that her favorite hotel is Disney’s Wilderness Lodge. I say: Yes, it’s like the Pacific North West; I love that place too. Judy chimes in that she’s always wanted a Disney Wilderness Lodge Watch and I vow right there to get her one for her birthday in July. I was reaching for my phone to order the watch when Peanut woke me up. 


Do you remember that movie The Neverending Story? This is the dog that I saw in the sky. I’ve not watched that movie in at least 20+ years.

I had to brighten Judy’s (My MIL) morning, so I texted the dream to her.

Perhaps she’s right about the dog part. I’m still sad about losing Lillie.

I immediately looked to see if I could get Judy the watch that she asked for in my dream; alas, they don’t make a Disney Wilderness Lodge Watch, which is bizarre because if I’m dreaming of them, there must be some sort of demand.


Al this to say, there’s a lot of activity happening between the hours of 11:00 p.m and 7:30 a.m and I’m not a bum.

Anyone else on Team Vivid Dreams? I have a dream journal and let me tell you, if you read it you’d think I was destined for the Loony Bin.


Not Exactly A Heart Of Glass, VD Stuff & Loving Time With My People While Doing Good.

Back in the day, I decorated for almost every holiday. The last few years I was SuziSlacksALot. But this year, I went all out with a tablescape for VD.

And by All Out, I mean one little tray on the dining room table and a few odds and ends. Sunday morning I saw Peanut chewing on something and I assumed it was one of the 327 toys that she has at her disposal, but then I noted it was shiny and NOT a chew toy. That B*TCH! She climbed up on a chair and helped herself to whatever her heart desired…and her heart desired my sparkly heart!

SPOILER ALERT: It turns out that the interior of my heart is just plastic. 🤣

This is a vintage piece of artwork (the heart spins) made by Lolo about…hmmm...I have no idea how many years ago, but she signed it in childlike chicken scratch, so I’ll guess it was 22 years ago?

My sweet Lindsay gifted me with these adorable kitchen towels. She didn’t even know that I often refer to Peanut as Peanut Butter! How sweet is that?

On Friday night I shared one of the best nights of my year with Lindsay and Coach; they volunteered with me for Tim Tebow’s Night To Shine. (this is my fifth year) I knew they would both love it; we had such a good time. We were in charge of organizing the guests into the Limo’s and party buses as they traveled from one area of the Church property where they were staged to where the actual prom was held. Coach was great as a Hype Man…getting the guests pumped up about their night as they patiently waited for their transportation turn.

It was a lovely way to spend our Friday night, made more so by dinner at a Mexican restaurant with a well deserved cocktail after our roles were finished.

How was your weekend? Do you decorate for Valentines Day? Are your surprised that my heart is actually plastic?