As blogged by Suz

When the people of target annoy you and we have a bizarre Lost & Found department.

I had a Who Moved My Cheese moment last week at Target. I knew in my head that I hadn’t been there in a while, but I didn’t realize how long until I looked at my Target App. (there’s an app for that because there’s an app for everything) It had been over 7 weeks. SEVEN. Before the United States Dumpster Fire started, I was a once-a-week Target girl. I kept asking (anyone who would listen) “Do you think Target is gonna go out of business since I’m not going as much?”

I was actually pretty excited about my shopping trip, but sadly my excitment quickly turned to slight panic and not at the Disco. I was lost as hell because during my shopping absence the Target People remodeled/rearranged the ENTIRE store. Without my permission; what is this world coming to?

Are you old enough to remember the book Who Moved My Cheese?


She found what, where?

I have a text thread with my girls; My DNA Squad. Don’t tell their Dad, he’ll be seriously jealous.

To answer her question, yes, she used to pack heat. And also sew. And also was possibly the most unorganized person ever; hence ammo in her sewing basket. I’ll have to check her revolver for some thread. Lolo confirmed that the sewing basket still smelled like Grandma’s apartment.

I miss that unorganized lady like crazy.


I found what, where?

Last weekend my Great Niece was here visiting for the day. We broke out the girls Barbie house and accessories. Lots and lots of accessories.

I sent a text to the girls letting them know we were dusting off the Barbies.

One accessory didn’t belong in the Barbie box at all.

I removed the play scissors from Barbies’ poor ear before Kinsley was traumatized.

Can you imagine what I found in that little box within the Barbie box?

Don’t ya love a cliffhanger? I’ve got to figure out a way for you to return to this nonsense.

XO

In the land of butterflies

It’s a poop party at the wild lime

That title sounds like some obscure fetish gathering in an underground establishment that I’d not like to visit nor be invited to.

I’m sure you remember one of my first vlogs where I shared my wild lime tree. You don’t? What the heck have you been doing aside from memorizing my yard? Well, it’s a pity because I lost that vlog during the blogger to WordPress transfer. Your life will never be the same.

Please note the vine of death in the background up there. It is actually starting to sprout leaves, someone has laid eggs on it already and yes, I still have PTSD.

We planted this tree soley for the purpose of attracting Giant Swallowtails. They also like my real citrus trees but this is not a real fruit bearing tree; it’s as fake as a Kardashian derriere.

I found three giant swallowtail caterpillars in the wild lime recently, all in different stages. Can YOU SEE THEM?

Our creator is such a genius; he made it so that the baby caterpillars look like bird poop. Hence keeping predators from eating them. Raise your hands if you’re glad he didn’t follow through with making our children look like bird poop? I mean, I’m not saying I didn’t want to nibble on my babies here and there, but had they looked like poop? Ehhh, I’ll pass and I hope this ‘phase’ passes too.

Two are still in caterpillar form, the third is in his chrysalis.

I captured brought in a baby swallowtail caterpillar in June and was hand feeding it daily. It finally had it’s fill of food and it created it’s chrysallis on July 4th. Last week, much to my surprise VOILA’, she was here just a rustling around in the styrofoam cooler where I pin all the chrysallid’s. HULLO-Lady human, I’m ready to live my best life!

This is my very first time successfully raising a Giant Swallowtail and I was so excited, so you know what I might have done-yes, Happy SHAAAAT. I carried her outside, had her on my hand and was trying to place her on a flower when she decided to come in for a closeup.


I heard her say: why u schwetty? why u slippery and smell like sunscreen? what happen to yur nek, so wrinkky.

Who knew butterflies were so DAMN judgy?

She stuck around for quite a while we had our own Glamour shot sesh.

Go ahead and comment: Pretty butterfly. You know you want to. But also, did you read the part about me almost shatting? That is what some might call quality blogging.

Well, that is enough learning for today. It’s also a reminder to apply sunscreen to your neck and decolletage. I apologize if you fell asleep in class, but that’s what you get when you stay up all night watching bad TV.

XOXO